I think it's not true.
I rarely feel anger these days, I've seen so much of life's drama that I'm not swept up in the vortex.
But, I am capable of strong anger at someone I don't know at all. In fact, I just canceled my subscription to a local paper because of a hateful opinion piece by a Mr. Krauthammer. Good thing he's not in my provenance, he'd meet his doom, LOL.
This is NOT a dimension of love.
very very interesting thought. I have understood the part "a sign of a love deeply wounded".
This is profound, really. We do usually think anger is something so bad. But if you have experience any pain from your relationships, including family relationships...mother, father, siblings...other significant relationships besides romantic. there is going to be anger...rather buried or not...it is there. The only way to heal that wound is to vent it...acknowledge it and be willing to embrace it.
anger is always a secondary emotion to hurt and fear. It's a result of these things.
the important thing is what you do with it...rather or not you take responsibility for how you display it and if you own it or not. Often we blame everyone else for our anger. Unresolved anger will rot your insides and all your relationships. I use it only as a tool in understanding where I hurt and fear.
I think it is true.
I remember back to when my late husband was alive, and there were times that I could be angrier at him than I even knew I was capable of being.
I would also get angry at my kids when they were fighting with one another.
And I am a very peaceable person.
Lillie I agree with the statement... both are deep emotions... its like the line between love and hate - you can deeply love someone and then they hurt you and it turns to hate so yes anger and love -
I think there is some truth to that statement......
I agree..think about yor kids..I used to get so angy and still do sometimend I have no option but tojust love her. With a mate when he/she lets you down, maybe it as trust or their health but we get angry with them beausew have invs tie d nterest i them and care about them andthey are letting us down..never thught about it like that until now..
Once I acknowledged that my marriage was over, I suddenly realized that I lacked all emotion for him. I couldn't even get angry at him. I must say that realizing that really floored me and it justified my feeling of not loving him. So yes, I totally agree with the statement when it involves someone you love. I can understand what Verbalista is saying because I can become angry at other people's actions and I can't do anything about it.
There's generic anger that requires nothing more than being annoyed - like being cut off in traffic.
Then there's anger at someone in a relationship and THAT does imply emotional investment either with that person or with someone they hurt - as in when a spouse forgets the birthday of the other spouse or is negligent or abusive in a non-trivial way.
And then there's anger that comes from having to live with the results of something someone else did - from a parent who abandons children or a spouse who abandons a dependent spouse and leaves them in penury, etc. Then the anger thus generated has to do not only with the originating behavior, but also the results of the inappropriate behavior. This sort of anger takes a long time to resolve since the person dealing with the anger is left to deal with the repercussions on a day to day basis for months or years.
Just my view from the bench...
I think it's absolutely true, especially in love/romantic relationships.
My mom used to tell me the opposite of love as not hate, it's indifference (there is no emotional attachment). When she divorced my father she moved forward totally unattached with indifference (because she did not love him and she's kinda an ice queen, lol). She expected me to be the same as her when I went through my seperation and divorce. It was a totally different situation because I had loved him deeply. I was crushed and VERY confused because he was acting like a crazy man, not the man I fell in love with. I had a hard time trying to wrap my head around how one person could be two completely different people, polar opposites. It doesn't make (rational) sense, but it happens. I was very angry and torn. I was angry at what his selfishness put the kids and me through, angry for the loss of what could have/should have been, angry at the whole situation, especially that the kids and I seemed to have had the greatest consequences for HIS actions and decisions. But the greatest reason it took so long to deal with it was because I was completely emotionally invested.
posted by PTpan
4 months ago
PT, your mother was a very wise woman. Anger is an investment, and probably more difficult to let go of than love. When we lose a spouse, no matter how we lose them, there usually is anger. Let it linger and it can actually make you physically ill, but we invest in it anyway because it is the one thing that keeps that person fresh in our hearts. It is very much a part of love, and I can't see wasting long term anger on someone I didn't care about.