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Do you want to talk about it. You can do it here or PM me if you like.

I know what you are talking about. I am going on 20 months and not doing all that great right now. Just got a reminder from Amazon to send my husband a father's day card and what books and CD's he liked. Boy that made me swallow hard. Don't remember getting that last year. OH well just another thing to make me sad. I think this 2nd year was worse than the first year if that is possible, but other people agree with me. I wonder what the 3rd year will be like. All to all grieving and losing our spouses really does SUCK! Take good care and hope the rest of your week will go along smoothly.
Hugs,
Kathy

isn't it funny how that goes.... you're feeling real good, like you've turned a corner, and then - there is that brick wall again. we're all here for you.... if you need to talk.

Tell us what's on your mind, that's what friends are for.

I feel like I am fooling myself. For the last several months I really thought I had a handle on everything. I realized lately that I do not. I find myself feeling sad and angry. Some days I don't care about a damn thing and only do what I actually have to do. I used to feel Dave around quite often and now I do not. I wonder if he moved on so that I will try to the same and that makes me feel hurt. I really dislike this merry go round of emotions especially after I thought I had gone through the worst part.

I am tired of so many things now like having to be the "strong" one for my sons...hearing from people" You are doing so well" or " It is good you are moving on". They know nothing. I am not moving on...I feel as if I am running in a circle chasing my own tail. No one in this stupid little town knows what it feels like to lose three family members in 2 weeks. I know they are trying to be nice when they say things like that to me...but lately I don't care....they are annoying and I want to tell them to just shut up.

I suppose we all have up and down times and...that it is "normal". How in the heck do I get out of this blue funk. I hate it!

Hey there my friend. I am getting ready to go back to ND and MN for two months. 2 years later and I am still working on items for Gene. I know that this will be the rest of my life. If you want to talk just call. It is so sad to have this thing called grief--will it never let up? Maybe we all should get together next year and have a widow vacation--we could all meet--wouldn't that me fun? I am thinking about you. I know that God gives us what we can handle--but right at the moment I feel SLOW DOWN! Vicki

Vickie! How nice to see your post! I have missed you here! I will call if I can find your number.
A get together would be interesting. You are the one to pull it off. Lets not call it a widow vacation though...I am also tired of being known as the "widow" everywhere. Anyone sick of that label or am I just being silly?

I have been thinking of driving back to San Francisco to scatter Dave's and Grandfathers ashes. They lived there their whole lives before we moved to AZ and they would want to go back home. It is only a 12 hour drive and I was thinking maybe my 13 yr old and I would go. He needs an adventure and there are so many things to see between here and there. I also was thinking maybe it would be good for me to take them home and set them free..kinda like a way to for me to let go too.

I was doing pretty good I thought for going on 4 yrs but last week I hit bottom again and started with the crying and feeling sorry for myself. My son told me that I had to quit being so negative about things and think postive instead so that is what I am trying to do this week but this is only Wednesday so we will see. Everyone hang in there just trust in the Lord and he will help us through the tough times. Take Care

A part of me wishes I would read in this group that after a year or two things would be better and back to normal. Another part of me hopes I never get better and back to normal. Sounds to me like normal has been redefined. I don't ever want to get over missing Ann, but it would be nice sometimes to think about her or do things that we used to do and not get all upset about it. I have some good days, and it's only been seven months yesterday.

Mike, it does get easier in some ways as time goes by. Normal as we knew it has changed forever. I think it is easier at times to continue to try to hold on to the past rather than change with it. At least I think we think it is easier and as I see it..it makes things harder.That's been my experience so far. What I can change I will change and what I cannot I will find a way to accept... hopefully sooner than later. I just hate these mood swings.