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Get some good girl friends and hang out with them! Have girl friend dates. Even Dobson and Focus on the Family encourage women to have female friends since men don't talk enough for them, and usually don't listen as well as women. I don't know any man that would like to be with his wife if she is with four or five of her girl friends. I have encouraged mywife to get some good girl friends and she has, so when she wants to got to something I don't have any interest in, I encourage her to call her girl friends and go!!!!!!!! She usually has a great time.

Thank you Carol0620and nliva

Wow, I totally understand how everyone is feeling, because I feel the same way. My husband of 22 years has completely changed from the man he was when we first met. He is now suffering from panic attacks, severe anxiety, and obsessive/compulsive disorder. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man and does so much for me. Recently, I was sick...I was in and out of the hospital from June to September this year. I went in for a 1-2 day procedure and everything that could go wrong, did. During that period of time, he was fantastic; took care of the house, the dogs and me. Now, thank doG, I am healthy. Having gone through a near death experience, I look at life differently. I want to go out and do things, from dinner and the movies to a 7 day vacation...maybe a cruise. Due to his mental problems, he mostly sits around the house and does nothing. I've been asking him about going a cruise in the winter, and after totally ignoring me for over a week, he finally has told me he just doesn't want to go. I am feeling so angry at him and depressed at the same time. I would go with my girlfriends, but one of them is unemployed at the time so she doesn't have the money and the other girlfriend has a skiing trip scheduled for February, so she's out of the question also. So here I sit in my bedroom on the computer, feeling so all alone and upset. Thanks for listening, I really needed to get that off my chest. Hope everyone has a good day.

lack of romance if you know what I mean

Do people just plain change? Are we supposed to be with one person for soooooo long?

I have been married for 27 years and we've been together 30 years. I've always considered my husband to be my soulmate. We had a great relationship and really worked well together up until two months ago. The only time we were never together was when he would go hunting. He was a home body and was content just being together. Two months ago he told me he had a seminar (on a Saturday night) to go to and would be home by 11:00pm. I thought it was odd but let it go. I went to bed and woke up at 1:00a.m. and realized he wasn't home. I tried called him and everything went down hill after that. He told me he had to lie to me because I was too controlling and wouldn't have allowed him to go out. Slap me in the face and it wouldn't have hurt as much. It was like opening a Pandora's box. All kinds of accusations starting coming out on both sides and I realized how unhappy I've been. We decided to put it all behind us and try to build a better relationship. One of the things that I told him was that he was obsessed with text messaging. He carries his cell phone around like it was a life support system. I intercepted a text with affair innuendos. Then I received an anonymous letter in the mail saying he was having an affair. Do I need to say that everything broke down. I made him move into another room. I bought the book the Secret and read it. It says to make anything work you have to believe that it will. I told him to move back into the bedroom and we would work on all the problems. He did but doesn't seem interested in working on the problems. I intercepted another text two nights ago. I can't find out who or what is happening but I feel so alone. I can not afford to be on my own. I have my own business but it doesn't make enough money to support me. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do or how to act. I feel like I'm living with a stranger. I don't this man. This isn't my husband. Even our son has seen the change and is very concerned and tried to talk to him. He didn't make any headway either. I'm very much alone in this marriage all of a sudden. Just needed to vent. Thank you for allowing me to let some of this sadness out. I really appreciate having a place to go to know maybe there's someone out there listening.

Vanana

Sorry to hear about your troubles.

It sounds like the two of you need to think things out and decide what each of you wants to do. Maybe he is just going through a rough patch and did some stupid things and needs you to forgive him, or maybe he is trying to break things apart and rebuild. Somehow the air needs to be cleared and both your feelings need to be exposed. You say you two were soulmates so perhaps you can find your way back to that, get rid of the crap that can build up in relationships and build on the good things.

I know for me the holidays are a tough time, if that is the case for you and your husband then not much progress can be made in the short term. Keeping things together may be all you can do for now.

Sorry I know this post is a little disjointed. I wish you luck I know how difficult things can be when it seems like it's all falling apart. Hang in there.

Mike