At first, you miss them, and wander around kind of lost in your wonderful freedom, then the phone rings and they need money, money, money. After a several months you decide to turn their room into an office or spare bedroom, repaint it etc, for eventual sale of home. I need to downsize. Then that phone rings again and now they want to return home...with husband...baby.....Good thing you painted, now just add a crib! In this economy it is very difficult for children to make it out there on their own, so enjoy your moments knowing that yet another curve is coming at you.
When the kids were growing up, you almost always knew what you were "supposed" to be doing: making food, making money, cleaning, driving them, teaching/criticizing them, defending your point-of-view/your space/your whatever). Nature (hormones) and nurture (what your parents did in raising you) provided free and almost irresistible game plans for you. These two motivators/blueprints disappear when the kids are gone & grown. There is no set "game plan" for empty nest/retirement - you are free (and you have to) find/create your own "knowledge" of what you are "supposed" to be doing. Unfortunately, you have watched your own kids learn and experienced yourself in your younger years the damaging limits of living the excesses, plus you no longer have the stamina or rebound of youth to protect you, so pure debauchery is out (whether that means drinking to much or golf every day or coffee and TV morning to night). My only advice (and the core of my lecture series) is to explore "what did you want to be when you grew up - what were your dreams of adulthood when you were a child?". You now have the time money and wisdom to make them come true in some creative way... go for it!!!
Thanks for the insights and encouragement..I think one of the challenges I expect is navigating the things we each want to do independently and those things we enjoy sharing. As with everything , balance is likely part of the equation..our desire to travel and remain lifelong learners is a commonality and I expect that is true for many of my peers.Its an exciting time, and I cant wait to stock up on some wines and start cooking to my own tastes!
