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I have never been married. I came close, even last week to almost walking down the aisle, but something made me run in the other direction. I don't know why. I know that my father used to beat my mother in a terrible way and he was always leaving. I swore that I would never be like that. One therapist told me that I was afraid that I could be like my father, but I'm not. I loved my mother and when he finally beat her for the last time and left, I took care of her and lived with her. Now, I know that I'm not like her, so what makes me run when marriage is in play. I have lived iwth one lady for almost twelve years and everything was fine, only she developed cancer and I lost that beautifu lady. But I didn't want to marry her. It just scares me. I have had women leave me, or I would leave them. I just wanted to throw it out there to see if anyone has a clue. I am attracted to women, especially one here on eons, but I wonder if I should even voice it to her. I think that she knows who she is and maybe she can give me a little clue. Maybe with a soul like hers I could make it.