Does Being One Flesh Sexually Make You Married?
Does Being One Flesh Sexually Make You Married?
By Tyler
oldservant@gmail.com, oldservant8@aol.com, kiieli@yahoo.com
What makes a heterosexual couple married? The Bible shows us that is the marital covenant that results in the marital bond. It is the marital covenant, in a formal or informal or private wedding, that makes two people married before God, not the recording of a legal document filed with the government.
***Ezek 16:8 "Then I passed by you and saw you, and you were indeed at the age for love. So I spread the edge of My garment over you and covered your nakedness. I PLEDGED MYSELF TO YOU, ENTERED INTO A COVENANT WITH YOU, AND YOU BECAME MINE." (Deuteronomy 5:2 : Dt 31:16)
***Malachi 2:13 And this is another thing you do: you cover the LORD's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning, because He no longer respects your offerings or receives [them] gladly from your hands. 14 Yet you ask, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have acted treacherously against her, though she was your marriage partner and YOUR WIFE BY COVENANT.
***HOSEA 2:17 For I will remove the names of the Baals
from her mouth; they will no longer be remembered by their names.
18 On that day I WILL MAKE A COVENANT for them
with the wild animals, the birds of the sky,
and the creatures that crawl on the ground.
I will shatter bow, sword,
and weapons of war in the land
and will enable the people to rest securely.
19 I will take you to be My wife forever.
I will take you to be My wife in righteousness,
justice, love, and compassion.
20 I will take you to be My wife in faithfulness,
and you will know the LORD.
For Christians a formal and legal church wedding is preferred to avoid misunderstandings or offending other Christians (see Romans 14, 1 Cor 8 and 10). To avoid offending or causing others to sin, those who marry in manner of the "common law" or MARS (man assuming the role of spouse) or California's PAL, should live discretely, privately, and/or secretly in their marital union according to Romans 14, 1 Cor 8 and 10 to avoid offending and causing other Christians to sin. ***Derived from 1Cor 8: 8 It is true that a particular kind of [marriage] will not bring us into God’s presence; we are neither inferior to others if we abstain from [a legal and formal church wedding], nor superior to them if we [have a legal and formal church wedding]. 9 But take care lest this liberty of yours should prove a hindrance to the progress of weak believers. 10 For if any one were to see you, who know the real truth of this matter, [living in an informal and unofficial marriage], would not his conscience (supposing him to be a weak believer) be emboldened to [live in a private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage]? 11 Why, your knowledge becomes the ruin of the weak believer--your brother, for whom Christ died! 12 Moreover when you thus sin against the brethren and wound their weak consciences, you are, in reality, sinning against Christ. 13 Therefore if [my private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage] causes my brother to fall, never again to the end of my days will I [openly and publicly present myself to others as being married], for fear I should cause my brother to fall. [Derived from 1 Cor 8:8-13] ***Derived from 1Cor 10: 23 ¶ Everything is allowable, but not everything is profitable. Everything is allowable, but everything does not build others up. 24 No one should be for ever seeking his own good, but each should seek that [good] of his fellow man. 25 Any [way of marrying practiced in the world, is good for marrying,] and ask no questions for conscience’ sake; 26 for 27 If an unbeliever gives you an invitation and you are disposed to accept it, [accept it in the way of being married that you please], and ask no questions for conscience’ sake. 28 But if any one tells you, “This [way of being married is wrong and evil];” abstain from [manifesting] it--out of respect for him who warned you, and, as before, for conscience’ sake. 29 But now I mean his conscience, not your own. “Why, on what ground,” you may object, “is the question of my liberty of action to be decided by a conscience not my own? 30 If, so far as I am concerned, I partake [of the form of marriage I please] with a grateful heart, why am I to be found fault with in regard to a thing for which I give thanks?” 31 Whether, then, you are [marrying legally, formally and officially or not marrying in that way], or whatever you are doing, everything should be done to the glory of God. 32 Do not [let your form of marriage] be causes of stumbling either to Jews or to Gentiles, nor to the Church of God. 33 That is the way that I also seek in everything the approval of all men, not aiming at my own profit, but at that of the many, in the hope that they may be saved. ***Derived from Rom 14: 16 Let not then your [conviction that private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage is] good be evil spoken of; 17 for the kingdom of God is not [marrying legally in a church] and [privately, discretely, informally and unofficially marrying], but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For she that in this [controversy about how to marry] serves the Christ is acceptable to God and approved of men. 19 So then let us pursue the things which tend to peace, and things whereby one shall build up another. 20 For the sake of [the way you married] do not destroy the work of God. All things [including private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage] indeed are pure; but it is evil to that woman who [becomes married] while stumbling [in sin] because of her doubts about its rightness. 21 It is right not to [marry unofficially and discretely], nor [marry officially in a big church wedding], nor do anything in which thy brother [or sister] stumbles [striking the toe of one's conscience against an obstacle inducing one to sin by acting in doubt], or is offended [or stumbles or is enticed to act without faith or think unfavourably or unjustly of another and so displeased and indignant], or is made weak [morally feeble, without strength, powerless]. 22 Have you faith [to believe that private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage is right and so practice it]? Have that conviction to yourself before God. Blessed is the one who does not judge oneself in what [way of marrying or form of marriage] one allows [with a firm and convinced faith in its rightness before God]. 23 But one that doubts [about the rightness of a private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage], if [that] one [privately, discretely, informally and unofficially marries], [that one] is condemned; because that one [who married that way did so] not because of faith [in its rightness according to the Bible]; but whatever [way of marrying] is not of faith [based on the word of God] is sin. If both parties in the heterosexual intimacy are born again disciples of Jesus, free to marry according to Jesus' Word, seeking to not continue in sin, and to not be snared in sex sin, then the Word to them is 1 Cor 7:9 "But if they are not having self-control [abstaining from sex sin], they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified sexual desire]." "So any person who knows what is right to do but does not do it, to him it is sin." James 4:16-17
MODERATOR REPLY to J :
J, thanks for your post found below in this post. I agree with you that we need to obey Jesus in our sexuality, but I disagree with you on one point. I agree with you that born again Messianic Jews are bound by their covenanted obedience to the Law of Moses - - -
NOT FOR SALVATION but as part of the good works to which they are called by their ancestor's covenant (Eph 2:8,9,10; Titus 3:5-8) - - -
just like the Apostles obeyed the Sinai Law (Acts 15 and 21:15-30) even after the Holy Spirit had given nonJews/Gentiles/Nations freedom from having to keep the Sinai Law in Acts 15; 21:15-30; Galatians, Romans, Ephesians 2 and Colossians 2. So such a Christian Jew should recognize as his wife any unmarried, unengaged virgin with whom he had genital contact, according to the Sinai Law in Deut 22
***28 If a man encounters a young woman, a virgin who is not engaged, takes hold of her and has genital contact with her, and they are discovered, 29 the man who had genital contact with her must give the young woman's father 50 silver [shekels], and she must become his wife because he violated her. He cannot divorce her as long as he lives.
***Exodus 22:16 "When a man seduces a virgin who was not promised in marriage, and he has sexual relations with her, he must certainly pay the bridal price for her to be his wife. 17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must pay an amount in silver equal to the bridal price for virgins.
The context of those passages show that a Christian Jew does not enter into a marital relationship with every or any woman with whom he has genital contact. For Christian nonJews/Gentiles/Nations who have been freed from having to obey the Sinai Law, but not from its definition of fornication, are under command to marry/be married if they do not consistently keep on abstaining/avoiding sex sin.
***1Cor 7:2 But because of the temptation to impurity and to avoid immorality, each [man] should be having his own wife and each [woman] should be having her own husband. 3 The husband should be giving to his wife her conjugal rights [goodwill, kindness, and what is sexually and intimately due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband. . . . 8 But to the unmarried people and to the widows, I declare that it is well (good, advantageous, expedient, and wholesome) for them to remain [single] even as I do. 9 But if they are not having self-control [restraint from sex sin], they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified sexual desire].
Christians, both Jewish and nonJewish, are commanded not to marry sex sinners, those who keep on doing sex sin, whether or not they claim to be born again disciples of Jesus (2 Cor 6:14-7:1; Malachi 2:11,12,13; Deut 7:3,4; 2 Thess 3:6-14; 1 Cor 5:10,11; Rom 16:7,8). 1 Cor 6 shows that being one flesh does not a marriage make since the harlot/whore/immoral woman is one flesh with each and every person she has had sex sin (intimate genital exposure with someone other than your own heterosexual marital partner, intimate genital contact with someone other than your own heterosexual marital partner, doing/touching the breasts and/or nipples of a woman who is not your own heterosexual marital partner, thinking of or imagining experiencing any of these intimate acts - Prov 5; Ezek 23; Lev 18 & 20; Romans 1; 1 Cor 6). As Lev 18 and Deut 22 also show, being one flesh does not necessarily mean that a marital bond has been formed when two have become one flesh.
The godly in Christ who are not successfully abstaining from sex sin, in thought or deed, will not be allowed to continue sinning because Jesus won't let them continue to sin. Those in Jesus who try to continue on while failing to consistently abstain from sex sin, choosing not to obey Jesus and marry, encounter Jesus' discipling and chastening, often in the form of weakness, sickness or even the sleep of death (1 Cor 5:3-5; 11:30-32; Heb 12).
1 John 3:4-14 stated briefly:
4 Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 5 But you know that He appeared so that He might take away our sins. And in Him is no sin. 6 No one who lives in Him [deliberately and knowingly] keeps on doing a sin. No one who [deliberately and knowingly] continues to do a sin has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that keeps on doing righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous. 8 He who [deliberately and knowingly] continues to do a sin is of the devil; for the devil keeps on sinning from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. 9 Whosoever is born of God does not [deliberately and knowingly] continue to do a sin; for His seed remains in him: and he cannot [deliberately and knowingly] keep on doing a sin, because he is born of God. 10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whoever does not keep on doing righteousness is not of God, neither he who is not loving his brother. . . 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we keep on unselfishly and kindly Loving our brothers. Anyone who does not continue to unselfishly and kindly Love remains in death.
J WROTE:
I think this Christian Dads and Daughters thing is a good idea.
I cannot help but to wonder why there aren't very many "Christian Dads
and Sons" sorts groups out there either. You know, I don't think there
has been a time like ever before when young men need the leadership of
men who actually embrace the full Bible truth. I sure wish I had a Dad
who warned me about the way the system manipulates women to control
society and make merchandise of our children.
I sure wish I had a Dad who told it the way it is and didn't feed me a
bunch of crap about women that wasn't even true. . . . He would have saved me
alot of trouble. If only he told me that marriage licenses were actually
a reletively new thing in North America. If only he told me that GOD
isn't looking at a stupid piece of paper but acknowledges marriage to be
ONE FLESH! If only my DAD had told me that sex with any woman outside of
commitment for life was tantamount to fornication! . . .
with or without a written contract. . . BUT I don't blame my DAD for
this . . . You see, they lied to him too. All he could do was pass down
the lies he was taught because he didn't know any better himself. And
so... the tradition continues... generation upon generation... more lies
upon more lies...
We could spare our young men (and women) alot of trouble telling them
the truth about marriage instead of teaching them to sell themselves
into bondage to a secular system that doesn't give a flying rip about
them if their lives are destroyed by fornication and adultery because
they don't even know what it is. Well, there it is, Tyler. I said my
piece but I can't help thinking about our young men because as you know,
when the young men are lost the young women are forsaken.
GOD BLESS YOU
BRO J
By Tyler
oldservant@gmail.com, oldservant8@aol.com, kiieli@yahoo.com
What makes a heterosexual couple married? The Bible shows us that is the marital covenant that results in the marital bond. It is the marital covenant, in a formal or informal or private wedding, that makes two people married before God, not the recording of a legal document filed with the government.
***Ezek 16:8 "Then I passed by you and saw you, and you were indeed at the age for love. So I spread the edge of My garment over you and covered your nakedness. I PLEDGED MYSELF TO YOU, ENTERED INTO A COVENANT WITH YOU, AND YOU BECAME MINE." (Deuteronomy 5:2 : Dt 31:16)
***Malachi 2:13 And this is another thing you do: you cover the LORD's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning, because He no longer respects your offerings or receives [them] gladly from your hands. 14 Yet you ask, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have acted treacherously against her, though she was your marriage partner and YOUR WIFE BY COVENANT.
***HOSEA 2:17 For I will remove the names of the Baals
from her mouth; they will no longer be remembered by their names.
18 On that day I WILL MAKE A COVENANT for them
with the wild animals, the birds of the sky,
and the creatures that crawl on the ground.
I will shatter bow, sword,
and weapons of war in the land
and will enable the people to rest securely.
19 I will take you to be My wife forever.
I will take you to be My wife in righteousness,
justice, love, and compassion.
20 I will take you to be My wife in faithfulness,
and you will know the LORD.
For Christians a formal and legal church wedding is preferred to avoid misunderstandings or offending other Christians (see Romans 14, 1 Cor 8 and 10). To avoid offending or causing others to sin, those who marry in manner of the "common law" or MARS (man assuming the role of spouse) or California's PAL, should live discretely, privately, and/or secretly in their marital union according to Romans 14, 1 Cor 8 and 10 to avoid offending and causing other Christians to sin. ***Derived from 1Cor 8: 8 It is true that a particular kind of [marriage] will not bring us into God’s presence; we are neither inferior to others if we abstain from [a legal and formal church wedding], nor superior to them if we [have a legal and formal church wedding]. 9 But take care lest this liberty of yours should prove a hindrance to the progress of weak believers. 10 For if any one were to see you, who know the real truth of this matter, [living in an informal and unofficial marriage], would not his conscience (supposing him to be a weak believer) be emboldened to [live in a private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage]? 11 Why, your knowledge becomes the ruin of the weak believer--your brother, for whom Christ died! 12 Moreover when you thus sin against the brethren and wound their weak consciences, you are, in reality, sinning against Christ. 13 Therefore if [my private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage] causes my brother to fall, never again to the end of my days will I [openly and publicly present myself to others as being married], for fear I should cause my brother to fall. [Derived from 1 Cor 8:8-13] ***Derived from 1Cor 10: 23 ¶ Everything is allowable, but not everything is profitable. Everything is allowable, but everything does not build others up. 24 No one should be for ever seeking his own good, but each should seek that [good] of his fellow man. 25 Any [way of marrying practiced in the world, is good for marrying,] and ask no questions for conscience’ sake; 26 for 27 If an unbeliever gives you an invitation and you are disposed to accept it, [accept it in the way of being married that you please], and ask no questions for conscience’ sake. 28 But if any one tells you, “This [way of being married is wrong and evil];” abstain from [manifesting] it--out of respect for him who warned you, and, as before, for conscience’ sake. 29 But now I mean his conscience, not your own. “Why, on what ground,” you may object, “is the question of my liberty of action to be decided by a conscience not my own? 30 If, so far as I am concerned, I partake [of the form of marriage I please] with a grateful heart, why am I to be found fault with in regard to a thing for which I give thanks?” 31 Whether, then, you are [marrying legally, formally and officially or not marrying in that way], or whatever you are doing, everything should be done to the glory of God. 32 Do not [let your form of marriage] be causes of stumbling either to Jews or to Gentiles, nor to the Church of God. 33 That is the way that I also seek in everything the approval of all men, not aiming at my own profit, but at that of the many, in the hope that they may be saved. ***Derived from Rom 14: 16 Let not then your [conviction that private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage is] good be evil spoken of; 17 for the kingdom of God is not [marrying legally in a church] and [privately, discretely, informally and unofficially marrying], but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For she that in this [controversy about how to marry] serves the Christ is acceptable to God and approved of men. 19 So then let us pursue the things which tend to peace, and things whereby one shall build up another. 20 For the sake of [the way you married] do not destroy the work of God. All things [including private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage] indeed are pure; but it is evil to that woman who [becomes married] while stumbling [in sin] because of her doubts about its rightness. 21 It is right not to [marry unofficially and discretely], nor [marry officially in a big church wedding], nor do anything in which thy brother [or sister] stumbles [striking the toe of one's conscience against an obstacle inducing one to sin by acting in doubt], or is offended [or stumbles or is enticed to act without faith or think unfavourably or unjustly of another and so displeased and indignant], or is made weak [morally feeble, without strength, powerless]. 22 Have you faith [to believe that private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage is right and so practice it]? Have that conviction to yourself before God. Blessed is the one who does not judge oneself in what [way of marrying or form of marriage] one allows [with a firm and convinced faith in its rightness before God]. 23 But one that doubts [about the rightness of a private, discrete, informal and unofficial marriage], if [that] one [privately, discretely, informally and unofficially marries], [that one] is condemned; because that one [who married that way did so] not because of faith [in its rightness according to the Bible]; but whatever [way of marrying] is not of faith [based on the word of God] is sin. If both parties in the heterosexual intimacy are born again disciples of Jesus, free to marry according to Jesus' Word, seeking to not continue in sin, and to not be snared in sex sin, then the Word to them is 1 Cor 7:9 "But if they are not having self-control [abstaining from sex sin], they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified sexual desire]." "So any person who knows what is right to do but does not do it, to him it is sin." James 4:16-17
MODERATOR REPLY to J :
J, thanks for your post found below in this post. I agree with you that we need to obey Jesus in our sexuality, but I disagree with you on one point. I agree with you that born again Messianic Jews are bound by their covenanted obedience to the Law of Moses - - -
NOT FOR SALVATION but as part of the good works to which they are called by their ancestor's covenant (Eph 2:8,9,10; Titus 3:5-8) - - -
just like the Apostles obeyed the Sinai Law (Acts 15 and 21:15-30) even after the Holy Spirit had given nonJews/Gentiles/Nations freedom from having to keep the Sinai Law in Acts 15; 21:15-30; Galatians, Romans, Ephesians 2 and Colossians 2. So such a Christian Jew should recognize as his wife any unmarried, unengaged virgin with whom he had genital contact, according to the Sinai Law in Deut 22
***28 If a man encounters a young woman, a virgin who is not engaged, takes hold of her and has genital contact with her, and they are discovered, 29 the man who had genital contact with her must give the young woman's father 50 silver [shekels], and she must become his wife because he violated her. He cannot divorce her as long as he lives.
***Exodus 22:16 "When a man seduces a virgin who was not promised in marriage, and he has sexual relations with her, he must certainly pay the bridal price for her to be his wife. 17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must pay an amount in silver equal to the bridal price for virgins.
The context of those passages show that a Christian Jew does not enter into a marital relationship with every or any woman with whom he has genital contact. For Christian nonJews/Gentiles/Nations who have been freed from having to obey the Sinai Law, but not from its definition of fornication, are under command to marry/be married if they do not consistently keep on abstaining/avoiding sex sin.
***1Cor 7:2 But because of the temptation to impurity and to avoid immorality, each [man] should be having his own wife and each [woman] should be having her own husband. 3 The husband should be giving to his wife her conjugal rights [goodwill, kindness, and what is sexually and intimately due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband. . . . 8 But to the unmarried people and to the widows, I declare that it is well (good, advantageous, expedient, and wholesome) for them to remain [single] even as I do. 9 But if they are not having self-control [restraint from sex sin], they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified sexual desire].
Christians, both Jewish and nonJewish, are commanded not to marry sex sinners, those who keep on doing sex sin, whether or not they claim to be born again disciples of Jesus (2 Cor 6:14-7:1; Malachi 2:11,12,13; Deut 7:3,4; 2 Thess 3:6-14; 1 Cor 5:10,11; Rom 16:7,8). 1 Cor 6 shows that being one flesh does not a marriage make since the harlot/whore/immoral woman is one flesh with each and every person she has had sex sin (intimate genital exposure with someone other than your own heterosexual marital partner, intimate genital contact with someone other than your own heterosexual marital partner, doing/touching the breasts and/or nipples of a woman who is not your own heterosexual marital partner, thinking of or imagining experiencing any of these intimate acts - Prov 5; Ezek 23; Lev 18 & 20; Romans 1; 1 Cor 6). As Lev 18 and Deut 22 also show, being one flesh does not necessarily mean that a marital bond has been formed when two have become one flesh.
The godly in Christ who are not successfully abstaining from sex sin, in thought or deed, will not be allowed to continue sinning because Jesus won't let them continue to sin. Those in Jesus who try to continue on while failing to consistently abstain from sex sin, choosing not to obey Jesus and marry, encounter Jesus' discipling and chastening, often in the form of weakness, sickness or even the sleep of death (1 Cor 5:3-5; 11:30-32; Heb 12).
1 John 3:4-14 stated briefly:
4 Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 5 But you know that He appeared so that He might take away our sins. And in Him is no sin. 6 No one who lives in Him [deliberately and knowingly] keeps on doing a sin. No one who [deliberately and knowingly] continues to do a sin has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that keeps on doing righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous. 8 He who [deliberately and knowingly] continues to do a sin is of the devil; for the devil keeps on sinning from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. 9 Whosoever is born of God does not [deliberately and knowingly] continue to do a sin; for His seed remains in him: and he cannot [deliberately and knowingly] keep on doing a sin, because he is born of God. 10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whoever does not keep on doing righteousness is not of God, neither he who is not loving his brother. . . 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we keep on unselfishly and kindly Loving our brothers. Anyone who does not continue to unselfishly and kindly Love remains in death.
J WROTE:
I think this Christian Dads and Daughters thing is a good idea.
I cannot help but to wonder why there aren't very many "Christian Dads
and Sons" sorts groups out there either. You know, I don't think there
has been a time like ever before when young men need the leadership of
men who actually embrace the full Bible truth. I sure wish I had a Dad
who warned me about the way the system manipulates women to control
society and make merchandise of our children.
I sure wish I had a Dad who told it the way it is and didn't feed me a
bunch of crap about women that wasn't even true. . . . He would have saved me
alot of trouble. If only he told me that marriage licenses were actually
a reletively new thing in North America. If only he told me that GOD
isn't looking at a stupid piece of paper but acknowledges marriage to be
ONE FLESH! If only my DAD had told me that sex with any woman outside of
commitment for life was tantamount to fornication! . . .
with or without a written contract. . . BUT I don't blame my DAD for
this . . . You see, they lied to him too. All he could do was pass down
the lies he was taught because he didn't know any better himself. And
so... the tradition continues... generation upon generation... more lies
upon more lies...
We could spare our young men (and women) alot of trouble telling them
the truth about marriage instead of teaching them to sell themselves
into bondage to a secular system that doesn't give a flying rip about
them if their lives are destroyed by fornication and adultery because
they don't even know what it is. Well, there it is, Tyler. I said my
piece but I can't help thinking about our young men because as you know,
when the young men are lost the young women are forsaken.
GOD BLESS YOU
BRO J
