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I just want to share the conclusion of my long journey throughout the legal system following the murder of my husband in June 1997. After fighting to keep the case from going cold, having it reopened three times - once with help of the Governor of Georgia - we finally got an indictment in January 2007. Three weeks later, the Dekalb County (GA) District Attorney's office called to tell me that the suspect had "escaped". Why? Because they FAXED his felony murder warrant to Essex County, NJ where the suspect was being held on unrelated charges and never checked to see if the fax was received. So the suspect removed his electronic bracelet and fled the state. Surprisingly, no one missed him, in two jurisdictions, for THREE WEEKS! He was finally picked up four months later and extradited to Georgia in May 2007. The case went to trial on July 21, 2008. After a short two days, the case went to the jury on the 24th. Just hours after the start of deliberation, the judge declared a mistrial "based on an omission" by the prosecutor during trial. My family was devastated. When the prosecutor asked me if I wanted him to retry the case, I told him "No". Due to a shoddy investigation, a highly circumstantial case, and poor choices made my the DA's office (making a deal with the more violent co-conspirator to get him to testify against the suspect), along with a county's law enforcement departments awash with scandal and corruption, I was afraid there would be an acquittal, with double jeopardy attaching. Plus, I didn't think it was fair to try one suspect, pitting his alleged partner against him in court. Either both should be tried or no one should be tried. I wanted the same justice for the defendant as I fought so hard for on behalf of my husband. Otherwise, it would be a hollow victory.

I'm tired of begging the system to do the job that the taxpayers are paying them to do. I can't put another day, hour, minute, second of my life into this. "Closure"? There's no such thing. Closure is leaving the courtroom after a conviction with your lost family member beside you. Nothing will bring my husband back. My son, now 26, has lived 12 years without a father - at a time when a young boy really needed a man to show him how to be a man. I did the best that I could but I'm a mother, not a father. My daughter will not have her father walk her down the aisle or be able to share the "Father-Daughter" dance with him at her wedding. I will not have anyone to sit on the porch with, rocking together, drinking sweet tea, and watching our grandchildren grow up. No, we will never have closure. No one who loses a loved one to violence will ever have closure. But we all deserve JUSTICE. Without it, we can't heal. We can't start our new lives until the justice system has done its job.

So I now go forth, with a part of me missing. Every time I watch a police show and the homicide detective on the case exclaims "I have my pride in this. I can't rest until the perpetrator is caught", I get pissed off. I want to call the Governor, the Attorney General, the President - GOD! Anyone to help me get pass this. I say that I'm finished but I'm really not. I can't. A part of me is still in that courtroom, suspended in time, on July 21, 2008, with "mistrial" as my middle name.

But, at least, I know that I did my very best for my husband. It's hard, it hurts, but I fought the good fight. That was my decision and I must live with it.

Each of you has to decide to either forgive and forget or fight like a tiger to get justice. Either way, the control will be in your hands. Don't let your tragedy control your life. Make your own justice and OWN IT!

Good luck to all of you. Stay strong.

Linda Lou