lizzie, i too am a widow since 12-24-05.
i have been dating and many of the men i meet are 50 to 120 miles away. when i go to their area, they seem to pick up the tab....but always make sure you have plenty of cash with you.
but when i have a friend drive down to my area, we go out to lunch, and my rule is...your on my turf, so i pay and you can leave the tip. it seems to work
i don't feel comfortable having a man pay for everything, i don't want to use their money, i have my own... even my husband and i would take turns at paying when we went out for dinner....
at 51 years of age, i don't want to have a man paying for everything, we had names for women like that....lol...but true.
i go shopping with some of the men i date, and make it clear that if i find something i like i will pay for it myself, or just come back later when i am alone...the concept of being a 'kept woman' is not good to me.....
so just hint, or just make it clear, by saying," todays on me" ..i think you were right by wanting to pay for a round, it is just the polite thing to do....maryb
Just as your husband said, YOU GO GIRL! Don't change, you have a very good attitude, don't change that either....
Boy can I realte to your. My husband has been gone for 5 years. I went out with a man that I had dated in my teens. He paid for everything and did not want me to pay for anything. On his b'day I wanted to by him lunch he got insulted but let me any way. Later in the relationship I realized he was in finatial trouble so I started to pay my on way when we went out. Needless to say things went from bad to worse. Until finally to make a very long story short. We had a big disagreement and we havent seen each other for 7 mo. He finally came over just to tell me he was seeing someone else. He wanted to know if I was seeing anyone or if I had been asked out. He could not
understand why I did not get mad and pitch a fit. What was I supose to do? I feel in this day and time at our age you can not win. Am I wrong?
do? You can not make someone like you.
No 2 men are the same when it comes to paying a lady's way so just go with the flo. Usually if a man invites you out he payse but if you are with a group of people and its not a date then you pay your own way.
On a first date, I want a nice and easy conversation. I don't want her to be judgemental becasue I don't think you can really know anything about anyone on the first date. As for paying, it's really up to the lady but I always offer to pay for both of us.
w
posted by wb740t
over 2 years ago
I think before you go out the door, ground rules should be make. As who pays for what, if he/she says this is on me, then the other should pick up the tip.
Women have changed over the years, not men. When you go out on a date, the man still expects to pay. Also, stay very feminine, if a guy wants to go out with another guy, he will go out with his buddies, he wants a woman to be a woman.
I have no problem letting a woman pay for things .In fact I think a man and woman should take turns paying
I think you ought to o with ur gut feeling, cause if it takes a change in your normal life style to become acceptable to society then your not you any more your trying to be what they want. This is waht hasa ruined many marriages over the years you like what ya got till ya get it then you want to mold it to your liking and that's not gonna work. I agree with the U GO GIRL, it's you stay that way and be happy.In retuen your gonna make someone else happy. Make sense ??
No point in playing any games, you have to be you, and a man that is strong enough to appreciate you will last, any weaker man will not, and it's not fun ending a relationship with a man that is weaker than you, because you will most likely love other things about him. You need a strong man, because you are a strong independent woman. Be yourself, if you want to let someone pay for a drink, let them, if you don't, then don't. Just my opinion from what I have experienced. Good luck, you sound wonderful.
