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Help during Holidays

COPING WITH GRIEF DURING THE HOLIDAYS
The holidays are often a difficult time for those who are bereaved and coping with loss. A common question asked by those mourning a loved one or struggling to make sense of other losses is, "How can I get through the holidays?" There is no single answer of what one should or shouldn't do. Hospice Foundation of America offers one guiding principle: do what is comfortable.

The key to coping with grief during the holidays is to find the way that is right for you. Some people find it helpful to be with family and friends, emphasizing the familiar. Others may wish to avoid old traditions and try something different. Others will find new ways to acknowledge the season.

HFA offers some suggestions for coping:

Plan for the approaching holidays. This might be a difficult time for you. The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively, and physically; this is a normal reaction. Be prepared.
Recognize that the holidays might not be the same. Expecting everything to seem the same might lead to disappointment. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the change while preserving continuity with the past.
Be careful not to isolate yourself. It's all right to take time for yourself but don't cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.
The holidays may affect other family members. Talk over your plans and share your feelings. Respect other's choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
Avoid additional stress. Decide what you really want to do, and what can be avoided
Grandparick's profile
While I agree with this totally, sometimes mother nature takes a hand in things and forces you to do the unplanned. This is the first year for me without my husband, Don. He died a month ago, suddenly and unexpectedly. I had plans to be with family, Don's family, but then I got snowed in. I ended up spending Christmas by myself. For me, it was the anticipation of the day that ended up being much worse than the day itself. I did make sure that I talked to all of our children and grandchildren yesterday. I also talked to other family members.
In addition to all of this, I have had no choice but to move because of finances. Since my move date is Jan. 1st, I simply did not have the time or energy to put up any decorations or the tree, etc. My only Christmas shopping consisted of getting an ornament for Don's memory. Now, I wonder if next Christmas will be the really difficult one since I will be decorating and having a tree then. Well, I'll not worry about that right now.
Starrrgazer's profile

over 3 years ago

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