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Widows and Widowers
I wish there was no need for this group- but there is-so please come in and let us know what we can do to ease your pain.This should be a place to come cry,yell, vent or maybe you have words of comfort for someone else. We are all in this together and just maybe we can help each other.
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I hope this is a comfortable place
where we can come be among friends, to express our feelings. We all have one thing in common and that is a great sense of loss. Here is a small homey group,where no one judges our feelings or tells us how we shouldn't or should feel.
Please feel free to come in and join us. We will support you to the best of our abilities.
Dee
Please feel free to come in and join us. We will support you to the best of our abilities.
Dee
6 months ago
Recent Messages
Widows Rings
I wanted a Memory ring added to my ring finger that showed I had been married, was a widow and was not ready "to move on". I was surprised that "Mourning Jewelry" did not exist anymore. I searched for "my own special ring", and I didn't know if I wanted a black solitaire(tear-shaped or not?), a black wedding band, a black eternity band...... I did find what felt "right" to me, but the search took over a year. I feel when I want to I will remove the my rings, but I intend to keep wearing my Widow's ring - because that is who I am now. I did feel lost, not knowing who I was - and the ring helped get "me" back. I can tell you that when I 1st put the ring on- I could finally breath, finally sleep, and finally begin to accept his death.
I felt that the search was exhausting, expensive, and not something anyone who is grieving should have to go through. I was told that other widows must feel the same, so I started a little cottage business of "Expressions of Grief" (store at Ebay) mourning jewelry selling Widow's Rings and Black mementos to wear. I have had such positive feedback that I feel it was the right thing to do.
I felt that the search was exhausting, expensive, and not something anyone who is grieving should have to go through. I was told that other widows must feel the same, so I started a little cottage business of "Expressions of Grief" (store at Ebay) mourning jewelry selling Widow's Rings and Black mementos to wear. I have had such positive feedback that I feel it was the right thing to do.
New and off balance
I lost my husband of 33 years on June 14, 2008 after an eight month battle with leukemia. I have read the posts and I don't read what I am going through right now --- I am a little angry at him for leaving me, angry at the toll the disease took on us both and because I lost him a little at a time over the last eight months. I am a strong woman, involved in my community and have a good job that pays well and I like - but I feel like I have lost my place in life - I have been married nearly all my life - first marriage of 14 years ended in divorce and this marriage for 33. I can leave work and not come home - no one would care or be missing me. I have a wonderful family close by - they are trying to give me my space and still be there for me - but I have never felt so alone in my life.
Hello Everyone
Hello Everyone, Sorry that its been a while since i have posted anything but things here have been busy. First palese let me say that i finally recieved my Associates degree and now am a Paralegal. Kind of sad in a way. The love of my life wasent there to see me get the degree. My daughter told me that he was watching me from Heaven and i know for me i rather had he there physically. Knowing that our marriage was almost 7 years i still feel cheated. He still is my soulmate and people still want me to date.I think that sometimes i am ready and then a case of the guilts comes on. I hope that everyone is doing well and i know that when i lay my head down at night i thank God for all and this site.
Hello....I am new...........
Hi,
My name is Mary. I have been a widow now for just a year.
I have been in a fog it seems forever.
This past year has been so hard, all the firsts came and went most were very painful.
My husband, Stuart, had terminal COPD. He was 56 years old.
He had the disease for 15 years, but the last two were awful. He was in the hospital more than being at home.
We did not have a lot of time together, as we were only married for 6 years. He was my soul mate. He did say that he wished that he had met me a long time ago, so that we could have had more time together.
He did get his wish, to die peacefully at home.
I am sorry for rambling. I really did not mean to do that.
Mary
My name is Mary. I have been a widow now for just a year.
I have been in a fog it seems forever.
This past year has been so hard, all the firsts came and went most were very painful.
My husband, Stuart, had terminal COPD. He was 56 years old.
He had the disease for 15 years, but the last two were awful. He was in the hospital more than being at home.
We did not have a lot of time together, as we were only married for 6 years. He was my soul mate. He did say that he wished that he had met me a long time ago, so that we could have had more time together.
He did get his wish, to die peacefully at home.
I am sorry for rambling. I really did not mean to do that.
Mary
Love lives on
You know how you receive so many sympathy cards with much the same message, but I received a special one that I would like to share. A Hallmark Card:
Wherever a beautiful soul has been,
The love still there will flower again.
For memories bloom like a garden in spring-
The sun still shines, and birds still sing,
And a voice of hope seems to whisper like wind,
“Love’s never lost; lover never ends…”
Wherever a beautiful soul has been.
In your heart,
Love will surely live on..
In your life,
May hope whisper softly
And in time,
May peace and comfort
Bloom again for you.
Wherever a beautiful soul has been,
The love still there will flower again.
For memories bloom like a garden in spring-
The sun still shines, and birds still sing,
And a voice of hope seems to whisper like wind,
“Love’s never lost; lover never ends…”
Wherever a beautiful soul has been.
In your heart,
Love will surely live on..
In your life,
May hope whisper softly
And in time,
May peace and comfort
Bloom again for you.
renewed grief
I had been doing well, I thought--beginning to get on with my life. It's been more than 9 months. My step son and his family came down to their vacation home near me this last week. I had not seen his wife and daughters since the time surrounding my husband's death. I seemed to be plunged back into that time again. For the last few months I had only been going to grief support to support the more recent widows--or so I thought.
I find myself crying alot and trying to imagine his being with me again.
I find myself crying alot and trying to imagine his being with me again.
Getting Better
You know you're getting better when....
* Your memories make you smile instead of break into tears.
* When someone else's pain hurts you more than your own.
* When you can tell someone else life really DOES go on.
* one day you wake up and you don't have to remind yourself to breathe.
* you want to find a way to leave your grief in the past.
* you find you are actually enjoying living.
* you can come home and be content in an empty house.
I am not there yet but trying for the sake of the family. (((HUGS))) Annie
* Your memories make you smile instead of break into tears.
* When someone else's pain hurts you more than your own.
* When you can tell someone else life really DOES go on.
* one day you wake up and you don't have to remind yourself to breathe.
* you want to find a way to leave your grief in the past.
* you find you are actually enjoying living.
* you can come home and be content in an empty house.
I am not there yet but trying for the sake of the family. (((HUGS))) Annie
Where to turn
I received this as an email. It rings so true in my life, I thought I'd share it with all of you.
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.
P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.
God
God has seen you struggling, God says it's over.
A blessing is coming your way. Send to anyone that
needs this........which is everyone!
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.
P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.
God
God has seen you struggling, God says it's over.
A blessing is coming your way. Send to anyone that
needs this........which is everyone!
What works to feel better?...
hi everyone! I hope everyone is having an okay or better Independence Day. I'm enjoying a quiet day at home since I don't enjoy that type of group insanity. Besides, I will be going out to a African-Caribbean concert all day tomorrow.
This brings me to my question. This trip with friends tomorrow is a good example of the type of thing that makes me feel better in spite of my loss. On Wednesday ( my beloved deceased Karen's birthday), after I had a cast put on my fractured wrist, I returned home and went through pictures and old cards as I thought and reflected on the wonderful ( but all too few) of Karen's birthdays that we celebrated. On her 46th birthday (our first together), we simply spent the day at home (mostly in bed) enjoying her new laptop computer and watching a couple of DVD movies. This bittersweet private memorial did help a bit to put things in a somewhat less painful perspective.
What kinds of similar experiences have other of his group's members had?
rob
This brings me to my question. This trip with friends tomorrow is a good example of the type of thing that makes me feel better in spite of my loss. On Wednesday ( my beloved deceased Karen's birthday), after I had a cast put on my fractured wrist, I returned home and went through pictures and old cards as I thought and reflected on the wonderful ( but all too few) of Karen's birthdays that we celebrated. On her 46th birthday (our first together), we simply spent the day at home (mostly in bed) enjoying her new laptop computer and watching a couple of DVD movies. This bittersweet private memorial did help a bit to put things in a somewhat less painful perspective.
What kinds of similar experiences have other of his group's members had?
rob
wifes birthday !!
Well everyone, I made it through my wifes birthday with no real problems. Next is the wedding anniversary on July the 5th (34 years) . Then Her favorite Holiday, Christmas...But with a little help from my friends, ( on here) I am doing better that I expected to be doing with so little time in this situation.. (almost 3 months ) You all do not realise what a Godsend you are to most of us, esp. the ones with not much time or experience under our belts !!! Keep up the good work !! Corky
Photos
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My Birthday
3 months ago
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Lyn's husband
6 months ago
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6 months ago
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Kuniko with ...
9 months ago
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11 months ago
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jeannie and ...
about 1 year ago
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