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Recently Widowed Men
Discussion/support for recently widowed men.
Coping strategies, anger, guilt, lonliness.
Going it alone, no counseling. New plans/brokendreams, who understands your pain.
Getting through the day. Whatever you need to talk about.
Women welcome - not a dating sevice.
Recent Messages
Wifes birthday !!
Well I made it through my wifes birthday with no real problems, next is our wedding anniversary. July the 5th !! Then her favorite Holliday, Christmas !!! I fell better than i thought I would ,for only being at this for a little under 3 months !!! Life does go on !! Corky
It has been 2months and one day
It has been 2months and one day since my wife died.
She lost her battle with Pancreatic cancer after a two year fight.
I agree with one of the other poster's the days are bad and not so bad.
I try to keep busy and get out and meet people.
The last three-four years my life has been mainly staying home and taking care of Glenna { my wife of 35 years}. She had several other medical problems besides the cancer.
I take a class at the senior center, spanish as a second language. go to a fitness center two-three times a week for working out in the pool. See a counsler, I just located a group for singles that meets every two weeks, they apparently do social activities, it is starting out with a potluck dinner.
She lost her battle with Pancreatic cancer after a two year fight.
I agree with one of the other poster's the days are bad and not so bad.
I try to keep busy and get out and meet people.
The last three-four years my life has been mainly staying home and taking care of Glenna { my wife of 35 years}. She had several other medical problems besides the cancer.
I take a class at the senior center, spanish as a second language. go to a fitness center two-three times a week for working out in the pool. See a counsler, I just located a group for singles that meets every two weeks, they apparently do social activities, it is starting out with a potluck dinner.
counseler
I was going to a counseler before my wife died .I was trying to handle the grief of living with someone with Alzhimers...Since she passed away, I have not been back. I called and canceled my next appt. and told them that my wife had died...Of course the counseler called, and told me that I should come in and see her because of the death. I get kinda creeped out telling strangers my feelings. I guess I should go and talk to her again, but some how , it just doesnt feel right ,and I am uncomfortable with it. I have a year to go back. My insurance will pay all but the co-payment. I am gonna wait and see. I have my job which keeps me busy ,Mon. through Fri. The weekends are not good.I am very lonely. I have vacation built up which I am gonna have to take or loose...I would rather work right now...but do not want to loose my vacation...If I had a hole to craw in, and a rock to pull over me, I would do that for awhile !!! WC AEH
wca1951
Hi I just lost my wife on March 15th, after a long Illness. I have taked care of her in one degree or another since 1980. I now find my self alone and very lonely. I have never been alone before and realy dont know how to handle it. I am only 56 years old, and think I am healthy, so I should live awhile. Not to sure if I want to if its gonna be like this for the rest of my life...I still work, and my kids, who are way out of the nest, with partners of there own are trying to keep me busy . doesnt help much...I know its early any suggestions ??? WC AEH
Hello, group
I lost my wife, Pat, last August after a fifteen year battle with colon cancer. I have been a member of Death of a Spouse since that time, and did not know this Group was around. Days fall into two categories, bad and not so bad, but I am still around. Life is not much fun now, but I play the hand I have.
Ten Years
The word "recently" is a general term. It will be 10 years since my widow-making on October 2.
Loosing my wife was the hardest thing I ever endured. But I can see how the experiance can be different for different people. But maybe not so much.
Remember how music went from being music to (80% of the time) being reminders of who I lost, or the actual losing of her.
Remember feeling the need to GO. Didn't need to GO anywhere in particular - just needed to Go. When I got where I was going - needed to GO somewhere else.
Remember that crushing, damndable silence.
Remember the prayers.
Remember feeling "the shakes". Yet when I raised my hand up to eye level....I was steady as a rock.
Remember the continual daze, and how, try as I might, I could not stop thinking about the event. Got to the point I couldn't remember anything, because my mind was always preoccupied with this thing.
Remember feeling so many emotions at the same time, that I couldn't really say How I felt at any given moment. It was surely a form of insanity.
Remember how a line from the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" would haunt me. ......"...Living in a powder keg - and giving off sparks!!!!" Perpetually felt as if I were on the verge of exploding - but never did.
Maybe some of this sounds familiar to you; or maybe you just think I'm nutz. But I know this, I wouldn't wish this on a dog.
Loosing my wife was the hardest thing I ever endured. But I can see how the experiance can be different for different people. But maybe not so much.
Remember how music went from being music to (80% of the time) being reminders of who I lost, or the actual losing of her.
Remember feeling the need to GO. Didn't need to GO anywhere in particular - just needed to Go. When I got where I was going - needed to GO somewhere else.
Remember that crushing, damndable silence.
Remember the prayers.
Remember feeling "the shakes". Yet when I raised my hand up to eye level....I was steady as a rock.
Remember the continual daze, and how, try as I might, I could not stop thinking about the event. Got to the point I couldn't remember anything, because my mind was always preoccupied with this thing.
Remember feeling so many emotions at the same time, that I couldn't really say How I felt at any given moment. It was surely a form of insanity.
Remember how a line from the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" would haunt me. ......"...Living in a powder keg - and giving off sparks!!!!" Perpetually felt as if I were on the verge of exploding - but never did.
Maybe some of this sounds familiar to you; or maybe you just think I'm nutz. But I know this, I wouldn't wish this on a dog.
The first Post
Hey,
I'm recently widowed and don't believe in counseling or other "touchy-feely" stuff. I'm a regular guy that fixes things when they are broke. That's what we do. When we become broken we are often at a loss on how to deal with it. I have run the spectrum of not talking about it, pretending I have no pain, self-medicating, and several other unhealthy things. Now I guess I will try talking to others like me. Your turn....
I'm recently widowed and don't believe in counseling or other "touchy-feely" stuff. I'm a regular guy that fixes things when they are broke. That's what we do. When we become broken we are often at a loss on how to deal with it. I have run the spectrum of not talking about it, pretending I have no pain, self-medicating, and several other unhealthy things. Now I guess I will try talking to others like me. Your turn....
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