Caregivers

By Jessica C. Kraft (Beliefnet.com)

Caring for another doesn't mean you should forget to care for yourself. Take good care of yourself, and you'll be able to give your family member the loving care he or she deserves. Follow these tips to make sure you don't neglect your health.

Tip #1: Recognize the Signs of Stress

If you are experiencing irritability, feelings of resentment, loss of sleep, increased susceptibility to colds and flu, or if you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, then chances are that you need to re-evaluate your situation.

Tip #2: Acknowledge the Pressure

Ilana Nossel, M.D., a psychiatrist at Columbia University Medical Center, says, "It's okay to be upset that your loved one is ill and recognize that it takes a toll on you." That's a normal--and healthy--reaction. Nossel recommends reaching out to your own support network and keeping a journal to help you cope, and seeking professional and spiritual advice if you're overwhelmed.

Tip #3: Take a Break

In The Fearless Caregiver, author Gary Berg establishes some ground rules for caregivers. At the top of the list: time away. Meaning you should participate in activities that don't include the person you're caring for. At age 30, Rachel Weber found herself taking care of her ailing father. "You have to take time for yourself," she says, "or you won't be able to help anyone else." Get regular exercise--it's good for your physical and mental health. Stay involved in the activities you enjoyed before your family member got sick.

Tip #4: Ask for Help

Often people who know your situation want to lend a hand, but they don't know how. Ask them to do specific tasks. Tell a friend you could really use a home-cooked dinner on Wednesday, or have a neighbor pick up your family member's medication from the drugstore.

Tip #5: Try Respite Care

Hiring someone to help can reduce the burden on the regular caregiver. It doesn't have to be expensive: Respite care is when someone comes to give you a few hours off, and it's usually covered in part by insurance. If you're anxious about leaving your family member with someone else, make a checklist for the respite worker to understand everything that must be done.

Tip #6: Take Pride in What You're Doing

One way to take pride in what you're doing is to have a goal in mind. Aaron Brodie, a medical student at Hebrew University in Jerusalem, notes that "caregiving goals can motivate you when you feel frustrated or saddened by your loved one's condition. Maybe your aim is simply to enjoy your precious time together, or maybe it's to help him get adjusted to a new medical regimen."