I've been urged to write by people for many years. Probably about a year and a half ago a friend from church who works for the Social Security Administrtion told me there was someone she wanted me to meet. I had sometime previous to that related Lori and my struggle and the miracles God had performed in our lives in a series of what I reffered to as "epic e-mails." I did so stristly for informative purposes, so as to share with a friend and help her understand the two of us better, as we had joined a mutual small group connected to the church. I never magined that anthing else might come of it, but she absolutely loved my writing style. She introduced me to a real life "Forest Gump" type of character, whose life had in many ways paralleled the movie in scale of exceptional occurences, and perhaps in ways even exceeded them. His name is T. J. Monroe, and you can look up information on him on the internet. T.J. was born severely mentally retarded, very much on the same scale as the character Tom Hanks played. He grew up in an institution where the children were reffered to by numbers rather than names, and the homosexual sexual abuse by staff members was so pervasive that there were patients who killed themselves on a "hanging tree" with the help of other sympathetic patients, who would then take their body down and return it to their bed, so the staff would not know how they did it. T.J.'s amazing story was that as a young man he saw a Perry Mason show and heard Raymond Burr say "Everyone has legal rights." So T.J. went into an office and asked for his legal rights, where he was dismissed with laughter. But there was one sympathetic secretary there who was moved by T.J. and contacted a legal firm that agreed to fight for his legal rights Pro Bono, giving him the opportunity to prove that he could work and survive on the outside of the institution, which was in Massachusetts. Against a backdrop of much scepticism, T.J. proved that, with the help of social workers, he could make a life of his own. T.J. even started a self advocacy program for mental patients that grew to a statewide organization. In that way T.J. began to get real recognition. The Governor of Massachusetts happened to include T.J. in a national convention on mental health, which gained him national recognition, and lead to him being named the first mentally handicapped person to be appointed and sit on the President's Board of Mental Retaration, along with such other members as Senator Ted Kennedy. You may be aware that he Kennedy family have a retarded child, perhaps of an age now no longer considered a child. T.J. has met all of the members of the Kennedy family, including the late John F. Kennedy, Jr and considers them friends. You may also recall that Maria Shriver is part of that family, and T.J. met both she and her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who T.J. was not as impressed with as the other Kennedy family members, thinking him standoffish. T.J. is very much of a character, constantly wearing a cowboy hat that either belonged to Brooks or Dunn of that famous country singing duo, which a common Native American friend of their's and T.J. gave to T.J. to replace a cheap looking childish Cowboy hat he always wore prior. Most people make allowances for him, but he has an extremely poor sense of boundaries, and can be very overbearing. So Arnold may have been doing what he simply had to with T.J., while the rest of the Kennedy's have been extremely magnanamous in making allowances for him, with Rose Kennedy even intervening with the secret service to get T.J. special treatment at the National Special Olympics when he took it upon himself to get the president of Kodak into a restricted area, which he had told T.J. he didn't think he was allowed in that year because Kodak wasn't a sponsor that year as they had previously been. Some of T.J.s unabashed stories of his overbearing behavior really are funny, and he has one great photograph of himself the second time he met President Clinton. President Clinton is shaking T.J.'s hand with a presidential look on his face, with perhaps the slightest bit of mirth in his eye, both of them standing in front of the President' desk in the Oval office of the Whitehouse. When you look closely at the picture you notice that in the background, in the ight corner of the office, is a proffesionally dressed Presidential aid with her hand up against the side of her face, mouth open with an "OH NO!" look on her face. T.J. explained that when they brought him in they said "This is T.J. Monroe Mr. President, do you remember T.J.?" to which the president replied "Why sure I do, how are you T.J.?" T.J. chimed in "Hi Bill, how are ya doin'?" An aid who was nearby quietly told T.J. "You don't call the President Bill, you address him as Mr. President." "That would have set things straight with anyone else, but not T.J. He said, "No, he called me T.J., so I call him Bill!" T.J. thinks that's great. I doubt if anyone else did at the time. He's also got a picture of himself dressed in a three piece suit and tie, sitting in a chair in the chamber where the President's Counself on Mental Retardation(the name has since been change for political correctness)met. T.J. Has one finger pointed upward in front of his face with a serious expression on his face, mouth forming a word, looking for all the world as if he is making some very important point. T.J. exlained that one too. It seems that as Ted Kennedy's chair he was sitting in at the time, and Ted Kennedy happened to walk up before T.J. noticed. T.J told me what he was saying when the picture was taken was " Oh s--t! I'm in trouble now!" To which Ted Kennedy kindly replied, "That's OK T.J., you stay there. You look good sitting in that chair." When my friend had me meet T.J. in the large attrium and dining area of the church, she watched how we interacted and how I dealt with T.J. It was only then that she told me that T. J. wanted the biography of his life written. Naturally, with his mental handicap, he is incappable of doing so himself. There was a short documentary movie made about T.J.'s lie, and it may even be possible to acquire it online. Just as Forrest Gump had his scrap book, so does T.J., onl T.J.s has grown into two large, completely full scap books, with clippings of all kinds of publications that have done stories on him, including U.S. News and World Report. The photos o T.J. and famous people he carries are very impressive all by themself, including two times he was at the white house with pictures taken with Bill Clinton, and another time with a picture of George Bush, Sr and T.J. shaking hands in the center of a newsaper article. Of course he has pictures of the Kennedys. He has a picture of Janet Reno and himself, who he considers to be his friend. She is now the President of a University in Florida. T.J. has traveled all over speaking in front of groups of proffesionals and on College campuses. He has even traveled as far as Japan. After I agreed to write T.J.s biography and began doing my research I accompanied him on a speaking engagement in front of a large Ohio organization of Mental Health Proffesionals in the convention center in Downtown Columbus, Ohio. By coincidence, Laura Bush was giving a speach just down the hall on the same level at the same time. As you might imagine, security was tight all around. Among all of T.J.s things in his scrap book is a letter from George W. Bush. My friend and others had helped him with his presentation, and had wanted him to stay on script, and on track with his powerpoint presentation they had helped put together for him. Well, they were not there witj him, and I can only tell you there were times that T.J. unashamedly said things that made me cringe, and want to crawl under the tabe, especially having been introduced as being there to write his story. T.J. had vehicle trouble prior to his engagement, and so I had driven him the two hour trip to Columbus from where we live. (T.J. actually only lives minutes from my home.) I had already begun to pick up on some very disturbing character flaws, and realized he was no innocent Forrest Gump when it came to his character, honesty and ability to control his emotions. In our very first meeting, with our mutual friend present, and before I agreed to write his story, I questioned T.J. very carefully about if he was really ready to lay his life completely open, as it makes one very naked, and I asked him if he was willing to be completely honest about all parts of his life, even if there might be some things that he might not be proud of. He had readily agreed to all and said he was, but it soon became obvious to me that he wasn't willing to be honest at all, and wasn't even being honest about some things with the mutual friend who introduced us. For one thing T.J. is a diabetic. It also became painfully clear to me that he is an alcoholic, something that he managed to hide from her, and perhaps because she really didn't want to see it. But T.J. began to ask me not to tell her things he knew that she was adamant that he needed not to do to protect his health, and for very good reasons, as it had not been very long before that he had to go into the hospital, something I suspect was brought on by his own behaviors. There were other things too, really too distateful to repeat, and there is no reason to dwell on them. T.. makes an amazingly charming first impression, but after I was around him a bit I realized he had certain routines that he had developed, repeating the same lines over and over again, like a carnival side show barker, knowing those provoked certain reactions from people on a regular basis. After he had used his set of lines, things had a tendency to go downhill from there, and devious and deceptive behavior was almost instinctual. Trying to sit down and talk in a heart to heart manner with him only brought out his very unstable temper, something that I had noticed could happen at any time with the slightest frustration, with never an apology for rude and abusive behavior. I decided that it wasn't feasible to write T.J.'s story, even in an unauthorized form. His character is simply too broken, and the last thing he needs is to have it further enabled by further feeding it. In the paradox of this world what the world sees as good can often be a liability with God, and our ability to connect with Him. Yet what the world sees as bad can sometimes be the very thing that causes the pain that finally humbles us, and breaks our heart, so that we will finally let God in. I do not regret walking away from the project. Whatever enrichment in personal recognition or otherwise that it might have brought would never have been worth the price it I would have paid personally in compromising my own character, and perhaps also delaying whatever God's plan may be for T.J. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean God won't find ways to open his eyes, and his heart. Thankfully it doesn't take great intelligence to find God's Grace. In the paradox of this world, that too is often the greatest stumbling block for many, wanting to rely too much on their own understanding because of their pride in their own intelligence, which can never approach that of God. Many, thinking themselves intelligent, make themselves fools, and so the Bible concurs. I don't want to be too harsh on T.J. He is a reminder to me of all of the ways I too have been, and still am imperfect in this life. I am not his judge, nor anyone else's. That is God's job alone, and I would never want any part of it, and am ashamed when I catch myself guilty of so doing. Yet we are to hold one another accountable for our actions, so must try to distinguish the fine line of difference. We could not live together in a common society if we did not. Perhaps it lies mostly in condemnation, or lack of it, and forgiveness. Who among us is fit to throw the first stone at any other person? I know I did the right thing, and have no regrets.
Jim