Do you know about the Myers-Briggs (both chicks, btw) personality types? It's a series of four letters that indicate how you make decisions and function in the world--which is a fancy way of saying it is a personality test. I generally ENJOY personality tests because they permit---no, no they downright encourage--a long, satisfying bout of self indulgent navel gazing. But I do not take them seriously because, COME ON! Most of the tests are so obvious and the results can be SO, SO easily manipulated. Especially the kind of quiz you find in 'O' and Cosmo (example: WHAT KIND OF INNER HOOKER ARE YOU HIDING?) because even a crack-addled orangutan could pick the "right" answers to get the test to confirm that they are the exact kind of inner hooker they ALWAYS secretly hoped they were--me? guess--BIG TIME hooker favors to the one who guesses right :) just kidding...actually, that's a good polling question: what is your inner hooker or gigilo like?
But this Myers-Briggs thing is different. I think it's useful to know your type. For one thing, it has a practical application in that you can use the types in effective team building if you are some sort of tight-azzed corporate paper-jockey who understands buzzwords like "team building." Many corporations base hiring decisions on these types. I admit I fostered a certain skepticism until my best boy friend took it as part of the hiring process for a job, and it freaking PEGGED HIS AZZ. Completely pegged him. He couldn't sit down for a week, it nailed him that hard.
And this test really offends me. No matter how many times I take the stinking thing (and I first took it I would say 15 or 16 years ago), if I answer even REMOTELY honestly, it INSISTS I am a ENTJ. I think I am an ENFJ (aka a teacher) or maybe an ESFP (a performer), but NO. The test insists I am an ENTJ. Also known as...ready for it...THE FIELD MARSHALL.
Oh sure, they say THE FIELD MARSHALL has good points--we are energetic and charismatic and goal oriented and logical, but on the other hand, we are bossy and overbearing and it is unwise to stand between us and something we want...because we will KILL YOU. We will kill you and eat you and eat up your flocks and burn your villages and hurry those of your line down into HELL, YEA unto, like, the seventh generation of you happy azz peeps. FAMOUS ENTJ's through out history include Lucy from Peanuts, Margaret Thatcher, EVERY despot dictator jerkwad who ever tried for world domination via genocide or a big kool-aid party, but who in their personal ads claimed to be into long walks on the beach, disco, wine on the veranda at sunset and oppressing the masses...Bill Gates, The Harpies of Greek Mythology, Caligula, Attila the Hun, Douglas MacArthur, Napolean Bonaparte, most people who work as executioners, many serial killers and the DEVIL HIMSELF (see, now where does a big fuzzy bunny like me fit into this picture?).
Okay, I made some of those up. But all the actual people named are ENTJs. Except Attila the Hun. No one knows what Attila the Hun's type was, because he had the guy who asked him to take the test roasted and then he ate him. So. But I suspect MOST of the Huns were ENTJs, and I DO NOT SEE MYSELF THIS WAY. Perhaps I am being hypersensitive and unrealistic about who I am, but I repeat...I do NOT see it. In fact I very much resent it! And speaking as a person who should OBVIOUSLY be crowned Rightful Empress of all the Known Universes, I HEREBY order it BANNED as inaccurate and cruel, and both Myers AND Briggs (and whoever that KIERSEY guy is) must immediately be staked out alive in a patch of carnivorous turtles. So has it been written, so shall it be. Because I freaking said so.
But you can go take the Myers-Briggs and the Kiersey Temperment Sorter tests online before my new law goes into effect...I give you all special dispensation, but you have to report your results back to me...and if you don't...I will HUNT YOU DOWN, KILL YOU and EAT YOU...just saying...dayuuum LS...FREAKING get out of my head, will you.
