Today was a day of hard labor which included ants being blown up in the air and all over my body from my lawn mower whacking away at their hidden colony in the grass that I have been putting off mowing for weeks and an extension cord going getting chewed up under the blades of the mower and my mind tired from being in the sun all day, under 100 degrees but still really hot.
Just another Sunday at the Ok Corral.

When it was all said and done I just wanted to be lazy and relax a bit. The sky turned cloudy and the breeze was blowing, nice.

I watered the freshly mowed lawn, yea! and Bella rode her bike out front…in her Chinese PJ pants and a lavender cotton top looking cute as a button and like any 9 year old should look…nothing heavy, just the breeze in her hair, making a great turn at quite a speed without falling and looking quite pleased with herself…smiling big.
She wanted to play a game afterwards, Monopoly—oh no, too long and my mind is tired tonight…how about Rummy? We sat on the front porch and played and I could barely handle that…lining up all the clubs, spades, diamonds and hearts in a row …she beat me the first hand.

She was waiting for her dad to call, he promised her a bike ride tonight.
He makes lots of promises. It’s one thing when they are or were to me but it’s oh so different when they are to this 9 year old girl.
The phone rings and I see her face turn.
Her eyes go downward and the pitch of her voice goes higher as she says, “Ok, it’s ok…all right...uh huh…”
She is biting her lip and the tears fall on her arm.
He tells her it’s too late to go bike riding tonight and he hasn't a clue that she is crying.

It’s a little thing, but so many of these little things add up.
So, here I am brain dead and having to remedy yet another botched visit with her dad.
And it breaks my heart to see her like this.

I tell her that sometimes people can’t keep promises…
sometimes things don’t turn out like we hope they will…
sometimes we have to cry and then get over it.
Then I hold her cause I really don’t know what else to do.

This song came into my head.
If I could wish one thing for her it would be a love from a father like this but this wish won’t come true, I know that. It's heartbreaking to me cause I had such a wonderful dad...her experience is so vastly different from mine...
'I believe that the light that shines on you will shine on you forever'




Then I thought of this song.
It’s more like this for her and my only real wish is that she will be a gypsy dancer and have a happy ending...