Ugliness

posted 3 months ago, updated 6 days later

It always takes me by surprise and makes me gasp. I recoil from it and turn away. Sometimes it jumps out from the most innocent or unexpected places and without any warning I am face to face with it...confronting it.

I'm a person who doesn't like to look at the ugly...I prefer to focus on the beauty in something or someone and let the unattractive slide into the background until it is overshadowed or transformed by the more pleasing aspects.

There are those people who just will not leave it alone...they are so intent on pointing out the ugliness in others. They are not satisfied until I finally take a good long look and admit, yes, there is ugliness here.

Are they unaware that in pointing out the ugliness in others they are revealing the ugliness in themselves? And then they wonder why I turn away from them too, in the end.

But I have found this to be helpful in ways I never expected. When someone reveals what I don't want to see, and I recoil, I must confront my own ugliness. The attitudes and emotions I carry with me from that point on tell me so much more about myself than about the other characters in the drama.

In the end that is what's important...not the ugly intents of others, not the ugly traits of others, but my own ugly reactions and thoughts. So by holding up the mirror of revelation that uncovers the ugliness in those around me, I also see myself more clearly and I am able to transform into the person I want to be.

And that is the beauty of ugliness!!!

Comments

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1. 3 months ago EsmeraldaR wrote:

Ugliness is in the eye of the beholder.

2. 3 months ago AristoPat42 wrote:

It takes great courage to look at one’s self and great wisdom to know that doing so will set us free.
Astute observation, well stated.

3. 3 months ago dreamer74 wrote:

I agree whole Heartedly, You could never see ugly when you look at you friend only kindness.

4. 3 months ago nannihe wrote:

I took a course titled, 'inter personal communications' and it was observed that the thing that made us so angry with another person that we reacted to was the likeness. In otherwords, when we found someone like us, we were angered at their use of that likeness. It reminds me of pointing that finger when the other three fingers pointed back at us. Scary isn't it? chuckle. We were actually seeing how others saw us and became critical as of course, we seldom see ourselves.

5. 3 months ago janeight wrote:

nannihe...your observation is making me laugh. A co-worker of mine studied me for quite some time and she adopted some of my habits. She wanted to have the same inter-personal relationships I had in the office and I guess she figured the best way to do so was to imitate me. In the meantime, she began pointing out the faults of the others and I think she may have even exaggerated some of her stories. Of course, I had no idea what was underfoot and when I realized what she had done I became very angry. There is no greater loss that that of your own identity. When another person imitates you it's as if they have robbed you of 'you'. But even a good fake is no substitute for the real thing!!! My reaction was so violent to her robbing me of my unique characteristics I began to have self doubts. And needless to say, those doubts brought out my own ugly nature. I have since learned to embrace my dark side, as it is as much a unique image of me as all the good things! Who said imitation is flattery? I was not at all flattered!