So I got to thinking, “why do people love lawyer jokes?” Which got me to wondering if eons had a group for posting lawyer jokes. To my surprise, not only was there no group; but alas, I only found two jokes and one had been posted by me.

I thought I’d start a group but wanted to do some “research”. I googled “lawyer jokes” and found that I was approximately 1,000 websites and 1,000,000 jokes too late to the party.

But as you can see by the photo I posted, I’ve had a dislike for attorneys for a long time. That gift was for my 1996 birthday and it was a board game titled, “To Kill A Lawyer”. It was given to me by my husband whose “love” of lawyers goes back the late 70s and his “friendly” divorce from his “starter” wife…

While doing my research I discovered that the lawyer joke websites even have multiple categories of jokes: Lawyer Fee Jokes; Divorce Law Jokes; Personal Injury Law Jokes; etc. The lists are endless.

And therefore in homage to lawyers everywhere here is my top ten question and answer lawyer jokes:

10. How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road? The vultures aren't gagging while eating the skunk.

9. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

8. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

7. What's the difference between God and an attorney? God doesn't think he's an attorney.

6. What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum? The bucket.

5. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.

4. How many lawyer jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true.

3. If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice.

2. What's the definition of mixed emotions? Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

And my Number one favorite question/answer lawyer joke:

1. How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.