Greetings, darlings! Is it just me or is it hot in here? Sheesh... let’s all pour ourselves an ice tea or a cold brewsky, sit back, dish and, as they say, chill.
Speaking of chilling, the eternally gorgeous Lena Horne has been involved in and on again, off again film project about her life. A few years ago, Janet Jackson was supposedly set to play Horne in the biopic ( LENA, darling! WHAT were you thinking? I just don’t see any resemblance physically or in talent.. well, Janet and Lena both have little noses but Miss Horne’s is that classic straight Cherokee one, just like my part Cherokee momma’s, and Janet’s looks like hers was lopped off just a few centimeters this side of making it as cutie-pie hideously fake looking as her sister LaToya’s.. but I digress...)
Anyhoo, that idea thankfully went south when Janet’s top went the same direction in the ridiculously tacky Boobgate “wardrobe malfunction scandal” at the Super Bowl back in 2004. The latest I’ve heard is that the bio flick is back on the drawing board and that singer Alicia Keys will play Miss Horne in a movie chronicling her life. Oprah Winfrey is set to produce and hopefully will get this show on the road.
Speaking of Lena Horne reminds moi of when stars were STARS; that is, they were actually famous for having talent and class and sass. Now we have reality “stars” . PUHLEAZE. A case in point: the latest trashy news from the Hulk Hogan dysfunctional family.
As I’m sure you know, the mullet-headed Hulk now has a girlfriend that is about the same age as his teen daughter ( you know , the daughter he was recently photographed with rubbing oil BETWEEN HER inner thighs and on her buns while she had on an itty bitty bikini) and, not to be outdone in the middle-aged-bleached-blonde-crazy department, his now ex-wife Linda is – I am not making this up – dating a surfer dude type peroxide stringy haired 19 year old. Really. It’s enough to give classy cougars a bad name, n’est-ce pas?
On to something serious about an actually talented person! Yes, darlings, pancreatic cancer is very often a fatal disease. But progress is being made and let’s all continue to hope the news that Patrick Swayze’s cancer is responding well to treatment is true and not just a publicity thing.
Here’s some evidence he may, in fact, be doing remarkably well: The "Dirty Dancing" veteran stars in "The Beast," a police drama thingy, that’s set to air on the A&E Network in early 2009. Now let me tell you, sweeties, there are all sorts of legal and insurance complications when it comes to putting together a series and the fact Patrick’s doc has cleared him to work AND the fact 13 hour-long episodes have been ordered ( and production starts in Chicago any dia) makes me think there IS good reason to find some hope out there .. Let’s all celebrate and take a moment to do some dirty dancing right now in honor of Patrick’s progress!!
WOO WOOOOOO... that felt good.
Speaking of beating cancer, it’s hard to remember Sharon Osbourne survived colon cancer and went on to more successes, mischief and , sometimes, Ozzy-fied mayhem. I just heard her snit fits with Dannii Minogue ( they share judging duties with Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh on the British smash hit talent show “X Factor) are soooooo the real thing. And, in fact, Sharon, quit the show unexpectedly last week after another fight, or “row” as the Brits call it, with Dannie ( Kylie’s sister) – plus she didn’t like the contract she was offered for next season.I hear it is NOT true she’s fussing with Simon and, in fact, she’s filming “America’s Got Talent” for him and she’s just signed for the BBC version of “Dancing with the Stars”. Rumor has it she’ll be a contestant on “Strictly Come Dancing”. Can’t WAIT to see pics of her in the ballroom costumes and gowns. As I’ve said before, sweeties, Sharon should be the poster child for good plastic surgery ( from face to boobs to everywhere else!).
Could someone tell Spike Lee and Clint Eastwood to put a sock in it? They keep throwing verbal punches at each other that are awfully silly. Near midget-sized Spike is in a snit that there are no African-Americans in Clint’s drama "Flags of Our Fathers" , based on the true story of three guys who raised the flag at Iwo Jima in WWII ( one was a Native American, the other two were white).
Clint told him he was following history and that Lee should “ shut his face” . Then Spike ( who is 51) pulled the age card on Eastwood ( 78) and told ABCNEWS.com the actor-turned-director sounds “like an angry old man”. Boys, boys, BOYS! Now go to your rooms until you can PLAY NICE!
Rooms... what does that remind me of.. Oh, yes, sweeties.. “ All I want is a room somewhere....Wouldn't it be loverly?”.... you know from “My Fair Lady”. And THAT reminds that Keira Knightley and Daniel Day-Lewis, two of the biggest names in British cinema, have signed up to do a film remake of the musical.
I don’t know how you can improve on the Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn 1964 Oscar-winning perfection but I can see them as Eliza Doolittle and Henry Higgins. Might be, in fact, LOVERly! ( Keira, by the by, like Audrey, isn’t a singer and my London spies say she’s taking singing.
That’s it for now. I must run --- hearts to break, mascara to buy, gobs of important things like that to do. See you back here soon! In the meantime, go out there and do something so BOOMerific people sigh, “ Now THAT looks like EONS of fun!”
