“In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it's a fact."-- Marlene Dietrich

Greetings, darlings! Did you miss moi? Did you wonder where on earth Sher has been lo these past weeks?

OK. Let’s see if you can guess. Let’s play Personal Sher Gossip Truth or Dare. That is, I dare you to see if you can guess the right answer.

So here it goes... I’ve been gone because of the following:

1. I’m sick and tired of celebs getting to go to rehab and figured I needed to go have the spa/addiction treatment break, too! Yes, my addiction to stilettos and caffeine was out of control but I’m all better now.
2. I had a complete body and facelift – yeehoo!!!
3. I ran off with the pool boy to the beach but was bored silly after a while so I’m back.
4. My old pal Madonna called and wanted me to zip to London to help her figure her upcoming tour schedule.

And the answer is.....

Ta da... NONE OF THE ABOVE.. Yep, the truth is perchance stranger than fiction: I was in Seoul , S. Korea at a neuroscience conference ( and then off to Hawaii for some R and R -- it was GLORIOUS!!!).

Ron Reagan Jr. stayed at the same hotel and he’s very nice and in great shape but has mega bags under his eyes.. not that I am into shallow observations ( cough).

Anyhoo, here’s some info if you’d like details of my trip: view link

Now on to some SHOW BIZ dish!
Did someone mention Madonna? Why, I believe I just did . She’s announced her Sticky and Sweet tour will launch in Cardiff at the Millennium Stadium on August 23rd and finish up in Miami on November 26th. The girlfriend has NEVAH looked better, in my lil’ ol’ opinion. She’s back to her tried-and-true publicity gimmick though – the ( yawn) Lesbian kiss. She just grabbed a French back-up dancer yesterday and Frenched her.

With all her “The View” palavering, folks may forget Whoopi Goldberg first gained fame on Broadway.... and now she’s returning host Broadway's 62nd annual Tony Awards next month after the show went two years without a single master of ceremonies. Last year’s show was so booooooooring and low-rated , it was pathetic so I think this is a great move. Watch it live on June 15th, broadcast from Radio City Music Hall in New York.

Speaking, sort of, about “The View” ( which gives me a headache, but I digress..), Star Jones has gone ballistic on former boss Barbara Walters for writing about her in Walters' new memoir, "Audition”. In the book, Baba Wawa spills the beans ( as if anyone on the planet didn’t know) Jones wouldn't acknowledge her gastric bypass surgery on the air.

She also writes about Jones' tackily over-the-top lavish wedding which has recently turned to a lavish ( ol’ soon-to-be-ex-husband Al wants a bunch of moola to go away, I hear) divorce. HELLOOOOOOOO, was Star the only person who thought her anything-but-very-hetero hubby was going to be her soul bud for life? Puhleaze. And while I’m not a fan of Baba, Jones’ attack referring to Walters as being “in the sunset of her life” was another tacky low for even tacky Star.

Tacky? Whom does that remind me of..... oh, yes, DINA “ I’m going to be a star like my daughter Lindsey no matter what” LOHAN ! She was honored – I am not making this up – as a “top mom” this week from the Mingling Moms Organization. Her ex-husband, another example of pathetic parenting ( at least he’s now out of jail) calls the award "a joke” and blithered to Page Six: “ I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court.”

Marc Jacobs’ fabo fashion designs are NOT tacky . but............ I hear his buds are tres worried about his, well, rather tasteless and maybe dangerous private life. He’s been in and out of rehab over the past couple of years and he attended the Costume Institute Gala Monday night two hours late with his “typical date” -- another nameless pretty young man . Jacobs, I hear, is spending most nights partying until dawn and , as they say, running on empty.

This just in: Robin Quivers, Howard Stern's side kick, is a ( healthy) shadow of her former self.. she looks incredible after going on a vegan diet and losing 60 pounds. Wow!

You know what, darlings? Remember Michelle Phillips of the Mommas and the Poppas. I , of course, am too YOUNG to remember that group ( cough!) but I hear she was extolled for her great beauty. Now in her 60s, she has decided not to have one nip or tuck and – gasp – age naturally. She must be one out of, what, every 10,000 in LaLa Land who take this approach?

Anyhoo, she hasn’t been performing lately but she is jumping into some activism stuff . You can catch her on Youtube in an anti-Bush spot she made here: view link

And, if you are in New York next Wednesday, she’ll be hosting a benefit at the Highline Ballroom to support medical marijuana legislation -- there will be talks and performances by celebrities including Savion Glover and Montel Williams.

Oh, and here’s one more Madonna date to put on your calendar. On Friday, May 23, the Storefront Gallery at 6650 Hollywood Blvd is opening an art show of Madonna-inspired stuff called "Dial M for Madonna" What kind of artsy craftsy wares? Oh, a conical bra made of chocolate.

And Madonna as sort of a Ronald McDonald Sex Server. Billions “served” and all that.Uh-huh.

That’s it for now.. glad to be back and glad YOU are here!!! Now post your views and news. And go out there and do something so BOOMerific people gasp, “I want to have EONS of fun like that, too!!”