I just came back from Knoxville, Tennessee, where I gave a speech on balance and tolerance at a wonderful Women’s Expo. I really kind of opened up a debate that I found to be very interesting about this amazing tapestry of a country that we have.
I think it’s really important right now for Americans not to be Ameri-centric… not to think that everything American is what’s right and everything else isn’t, nor try to dictate American values to everybody else. I don’t want to get political about this. What I really want to do is to celebrate the diversity that we have in this country and what a miracle it is that everyone who is an American basically came at some point from somewhere else or their parents did or their grandparents, or great-grandparents, whatever.
I was speaking to a friend, a friend’s stepson just the other day who told me a story I knew nothing about. I knew his father came from Poland, but what I didn’t know is his father had escaped from a concentration camp, that his entire family was wiped out, and that he’d been given another name. And the name that his son grew up with and always believed was his name was in fact not his name or his family’s name at all.
And his son who is now in his 30s has chosen to change his name from the one he has always been known by. He’s changing it to the original name of the family that was wiped out in the Holocaust. This is a man who did not practice Judaism, doesn’t know anything about being Jewish, and doesn’t particularly intend to take on that religion. But, just felt that part of his roots were very important to the future of him and his own, and any family he might have in the future.
P.S. Thank you for all your kind words and messages on the blog. I am deeply touched.
On tolerance...
posted about 1 year ago, updated 1 minute later
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- 1. about 1 year ago Apricot wrote:
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Jane, thank you for sharing that wonderful story. Reading about the young man with his newfound heritage and the diversity of what we know to be America got me to thinking. Some of us are not as fortunate to know the history of our heritage. But I have concluded that is not what makes me American. I was blessed to be born here, I pay my dues, (taxes, et al), but more than that, I strive to be an active part of my community, my church, my city, my state and my country. I vote, I volunteer, I travel extensively within the U.S., making sure I support each place monetarily as I enjoy the beauty of the states offered up to me. I support my neighbors, civic clubs, national charities and I could go on. The point I wish to make is, no matter my heritage, I can mesh, invest and truly belong to something by believing in it and supporting it, as can everyone, regardless of their lot in life.
I am not sure where my family on my father's side hailed from. I have heard many stories. It matters little to me at this point in my life of 52 years. But I do know where I started from and where I call home. I am so proud to be an American and to share these thoughts with you.
- 2. about 1 year ago Lynn1 wrote:
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I taught school at a small elementary school. We had three classrooms for each grade level. At this school we had 46 different native languages spoken. Having that kind of diversity enriched the education of our students. We all learned about so many different countries and their cultures. I taught third grade and we did a Veterans day assembly every November. Seeing approxamently 100 eight year olds stand on a hill at our morning assembly singing I am Proud to be an American with all their different colored and shaped faces made me cry every year.
- 3. about 1 year ago NanaTink wrote:
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I couldn't agree more.
My own ancestors came to the US around 1900 from Norway. They all settled in the same area I live in now. Living in a rural area in Wisconsin, one might not expect to find much ethnic or racial diversity, but my beautiful grandbabies are part Chippewa, and my sons fiance is a lady of asian/african mix who landed here from the Phillipines. My thinking is that they're just adding some color to our scandinavian paleness. ;)
My closest neighbors are Amish, my best friends are Welsh and Italian.
I thank God for the diversity that makes our lives rich and interesting!
- 4. about 1 year ago moonbaby62156 wrote:
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Hi Jane and everyone! I've just read the item on tolerance and you've so eloquently stated some of my own thoughts that have grown deeper in recent years. Travel is a wonderful way to learn and experience tolerance. I learned this myself some years ago on a trip to Africa. I'd not traveled outside the US aside from Mexico or Canada, so this was a mega life lesson in casting off the "Ameri-centric" paradigm and viewing the world in a much broader way. We Americans or so, so blessed to be here. I'd been gone almost a month and one day we were seeing the sights in Kigali, Rwanda. We passed the American Embassy and I looked up at the American flag in the sunshine and started to tear, for I knew it to be true that there is nowhere else like the USA. When I came home from that trip, I also came home to my roots and the people who love me.
Twenty years later, My father has finished tracing our roots back to 1620 and I've learned that each and every one of us has more diversity than "American-ness" in us. This is our Strength. (so sorry this is SO long..! thankyou)
- 5. about 1 year ago yamo wrote:
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Hello Jane,
You are so right, our families all came from somewhere else and created this great tapestry called America. We must keep perspective and tolerance. Also, given your wonderful interest in supporting abused children, I invite you and others to an experience of hope and healing in Los Angeles on May 5:
Please Join Joyful Heart Foundation and LifeChallenges.org -
For A Gathering In Honor of Author
Alissa Lukara and the Los Angeles Debut of Her Memoir
Riding Grace: A Triumph of the Soul
“Silence is not golden when it comes to abuse. Alissa Lukara’s courageous memoir of speaking out and triumphing over abuse and the chronic illness that results from it breaks the silence and inspires others to raise their voices and do the same.”
Mariska Hargitay, Founder & President, Joyful Heart Foundation
Alissa Lukara is president and founder of Lifechallenges.org, a nonprofit website that for the last seven years has provided individuals in 97 countries worldwide with the self help tools they need to cope with and transcend adversity. A Reiki Master, Alissa completes training this month as a family constellation practitioner, which is based on the work of psychotherapist Bert Hellinger.
Saturday, May 5
2:00 PM – 4:00 PM
Dutton’s Brentwood Bookstore
11975 San Vicente Blvd.
Brentwood, CA
More info: 661.297.0009
www.joyfulheartfoundation.org
www.lifechallenges.org
www.ridinggrace.com
www.silverlightpub.com
My best regards,
David Wick
- 6. about 1 year ago nettlehart wrote:
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Not being Ameri-centric. What a wonderful thing that would be.
I'm American. I was born in Munich, Germany - the daughter of a woman who lived in Nazi Germany after her family returned to their homeland when Russia invaded Romania, and a father born in Philadelphia whose father was a first generation American, and the first Christian from a family of English Jews. From what I figure, I think his conversion was more a matter of morals than spirituality - he was quite too amoral to be a Jew and so adopted Christianity. To add to the confusion, my mother had no idea of my father's background and my father's quite proper Philadelphian (by that time) family questioned my mother's race when he wrote and said he was to marry a Romanian born girl. He of course, did not express these concerns to my mother.
My mother had quite enough problems. She was raised to be terrified of gypsies, well known for being thieves and kidnappers, in Romania. After moving to Germany in her very early teens, she was taught that Jews were the cause of all woes financial and political, and all good girls joined the party or went to camps. A short time later, most of the known world was the enemy and good Germans joined and supported the party or family members disappeared in work camps. No one mentioned the camps where the Jews went. They all just went away, presumably to other countries.
Meanwhile, back in Philadelphia... the war was over and it was quite clear to all that yes, my mother was white. Rejoice. She didn't speak much English and after all, she was German, but at least she was white. Blonde hair, blue eyes, most assuredly white and quite well educated even if she couldn't speak English. She found my father's family quite amusing, what with the big ears and all. Her family had servants, always had, always would. She finished her Bacheler's degree at the age of 18, had a 19 inch waist (she did - I've seen the honeymoon pictures - she was wearing a very fitted sweater, sitting in the snow on some mountain in the Alps. No coat, just that sweater and the ski pants and boots, with more mountains in the background) She had a family history that could be traced to a time that made the founding fathers look like upstarts. The ladies in Philadelphia tolerated her for the sake of my father and the adorable children he and my mother brought home from Germany. That and her great taste in clothes. Ahhh... the good old days.
I will never forget something my mother told me about being American. In Romania, she said, her family was always German. It didn't matter that they had been there for over a hundred years, they were German. When they returned to their land in Germany after the Russian invasion, they were German as long as they supported the Nazi party. Otherwise, they were ... I'm not quite sure what, my mother never would say. I can see how this would make perfect sense to the 13 year old girl she was.
Shortly after we moved to England (my father was stationed at Sculthorpe Air Base) my mother said something to me about being American. We were living in a military hotel for a few months while waiting for a house. She said that after feeling like a foreigner in the country of her birth, she lived in the country of her ancesters where acceptance depended upon party allegiance. My mother lost people in the camps - the ones who didn't quite live up to the Nazi expectations or whose family members didn't. She told me, when we lived in England and I was 10 years old, that she was American and very proud to be so. It was the only country, she said, that despite the anti-German sentiment that was so prevelant after the war, despite the old lady aunts from Philadelphia, that accepted her. The American people in general, and the American government in particular, accepted her. She was adamantly American, and she was at the same time acutely aware of the unfortunate image America projected to the rest of the world. Her viewpoints have colored my world view since that day in Cromer when she told me that I had to be an ambassador of my country for as long as we lived in England. This meant, and I'll condense this greatly, to learn and respect the customs of others, to learn all I could about the people and lands where we lived and to appreciate the newness of it all. To impose my Americanism on them would be unthinkable.
My mother expanded my world view. Odd isn't it, how a world view takes so much less time to develop than the look down the road? It took many more years before I recognized and overcame my racial prejudices. Thank the gods I was never plagued by religous or ethnic confusion, not caring about who was what with either of those has saved me many a sleepless night.
There was a point to all of this. There is always a point, I just generally lose it for a bit before the triumphant return. We should not, especially not now, be Ameri-centric. We should not accept the party line. Staying the course, defeating the evil doers... this is so very reminiscent of another party, another war. Retaliation in the name of God and country is just that - retaliation. It has nothing to do with a tragedy resulting from the political mechanisms or religious zeal of a few made powerful by rhetoric and fear.
If we can understand what it is to be a member of the world, Americans who are members of a much larger community, we can lose the Ameri-centric view and gain a profoundly enriched culture, and perhaps, peace.
- 7. about 1 year ago Starguy01 wrote:
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Hi Jane,
Thank you for sharing that wondeful story. I think one of the most wonderful things about this country is the rich cultural diversity that we have. As far as I'm concerned, cultural diversity is the spice of life!
Best regards,
Eric
- 8. about 1 year ago Lifeguard wrote:
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Our strength is that we are a melting pot. We are virtually all descended from immigrants. Your comments are right on Jane. Thanks for sharing them with us.
- 9. about 1 year ago redheadjokes wrote:
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I love the diversity.
A few days ago at my acupuncturist who speaks little Chinese who'd been highly recommended to me by my German friend, I overheard Chinese spoken with an English accent. I understand they were probably from Hong Kong. Meanwhile my new dental hygenist is Russian. My son's new girlfriend is Phillipino...
I had always heard my father's side of the family was wealthy and related to 2nd president John Adams. I can't find any record of that. It amused me that I was able to track my mother's very poor side of the family, and my favorite hard working big hearted grandfather, to 1350's Holland.
- 10. about 1 year ago Artsey wrote:
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I was born in Holland, my husband in the States and we lived in several different countries in Europe as well as in Australia and we came to the US 7 years ago with our two children. One was born in England and one in Germany.
Our son who was born in England adapted very quickly to the American way of life. Our daughter had a much more difficult time. She missed her friends and the German way of life.
There are many places in this world where you can have a very good life. The US is one of them but certainly not the only one.
I have hopes for the children who travel more and therefor get more exposure to other cultures. Understanding eachother is key for world peace. Afterall we all live on planet earth.
- 11. about 1 year ago LadyWillow wrote:
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Thank you Jane for this touching story, it relates to my history as well. Enjoyed learning about this very special young man who had the courage to embrace and learn from his heritage.
My anchestors are from Europe - Father from Denmark, Mother's parents from Sweden. Can relate to the name change and confusion. When my Mothers relatives immigrated from Sweden they all changed their names because theirs was as common as Smith in the old country, and they wished to be more individual and have less confusion with paperwork.
As a result I'm unable to trace my heritage as they have all passed on and no one is left to re-connect the family history in my immediate circle. Looking into locating distant relatives in the US with the possibility of finding someone who can help.
As my Father entered the United States through Ellis Island his name was shorted and simplified as were so many. However the records were kept and I'm currently searching for possible connections for the unusual name of Foldager.
The ability to connect with the past is important to defining the future. Learning the who, what and where can often enable understanding of the why and help promote the growth of tolerance. /;)
Sincerely
LadyWillow FiberARTist
view link
- 12. about 1 year ago dianna38 wrote:
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I boomed this since it was so intersting . My grandfather came from Russia and he couldnt get a job unless he changed his name. But he did well only in America , praise God and our country that is free. So since my grandfather made it here , I therefore was born in the USA and I am so grateful for that. I am not a fancy writer but what I say comes from my heart. God Bless everyone
