One Cause, Two Views, Two Victims

posted 4 months ago

It amazes me that caring about children would create almost as much havoc on eons as lowering the age requirement to join. Eons is probably used to this. Things tend to run in cycles, people come and people go, but those that leave usually go quietly into the night. This time, it is not the case.

My point in this blog is not to blame either of the victims, they are both entitled to their opinions, and they are sharing the same pain in different ways. One wanted to do something, the other was against doing it on eons.

April is National Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month. It is also National Humor Month. April 22 is Earth Day. I am certainly not going to judge where someone's heart is.

Laughingspirits chose to make members of eons aware of child abuse, initially by posting in the groups she belongs to, including Eons Group Managers and Moderators. She believed the initial negative response was because of the graphic nature of the campaign so she changed the process and asked people to not use graphic images. She also apologized all over the place. It didn't matter, blogs and anti-blogs were written and this escalated out of control.

The other victim of this mess chose to express her anger in a blog. I ran across it on the eons home page and was appalled by what I was reading. I left a comment, went back to the home page and busted it off the front page. THAT WAS MY ONLY GOAL. Many of those who wrote blogs this weekend are people I never heard of before. There are a few on my friends list, but not really all that many. Others left comments as well. Lord only knows what she received in her inbox.

So what has been the result of this cat fight? Typical cat fight results, everyone gets scratched. Hearts are broken, long time friendships are broken, and two ladies have left eons. All this because someone wanted to make people aware how widespread child abuse is in this country. Eventually, both of these ladies will make their way back, but probably a little worse for the wear.

Comments

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1. 4 months ago nanamarcie wrote:

My heart is aching this morning. Laughing was my friend and her heart was pure - she just wanted to do something nice for a cause in which she believes. The crap thrown at her has been extraordinary and abusive. I don't get it. She was trying to make a difference and now an opposing "clique" has driven her from eons. What is wrong with you people???

2. 4 months ago hippiemama wrote:

just as i wrote in my blog. the abuser stays silent, and when forced backtracks, takes no agknowledgement of their actions and begins blaming everyone else. the pattern repeats itself. thank you for proving my point.

the wonders of electronics, is that entire conversations can be saved, to be played back.

3. 4 months ago tachpa wrote:

What a shame that bullies get to rule here. The whole thing happened because someone had an issue that was hers only but she, and her cronies, made it a crusade to do as much damage as possible to her. The instigator may have left Eons but you can see her hand in all of this. How very sad the person who started a group to help others and to help children was treated like she was responsible for the instigators issues. I'm not sure what the people attacking laughingspirits are thinking by going along with her. How wrong can it be to help adults and small children? I am deeply saddened by her leaving. And for those that had a part in it, stand up and show yourself since you are brave enough to send private messages that caused so much pain. How sad and pathetic you are. What other type of person would object to someone helping people and little kids? The person who started all of this and her friends are themselves abusers. They hide behind someone else who obviously has issues of her own. They take pleasure in hurting others. Agreed hippiemomma, they continue the cycle. and everyone else is to blame for their actions. No acknowledgment of wrong doing. She just went home and pouted because she couldn't stand the heat. So someone else had to pay. She went after the person who "wronged" her by posting a pic she didn't like. An apology was not enough for her she wanted laughingspirits shamed. I'm not sure why she didn't join the group instead. Just sad. as are those that took part in driving off someone who wanted to help adults and kids.

Lily

4. 4 months ago GRM wrote:

All I know is that people never fully recover from child abuse. I want to scream every time I hear someone say "Children are resilient. They bounce back." That is absolutely not true. Sure she learns to play again. She learns to go through the motions. She learns that adults really don't want to deal with a sad or abused child. She learns that friends won't be friends for long if she is sad all the time. She learns not to talk about how much she hurts. She swallows it, and it stays in the pit of her stomach for the rest of her life. No amount of counseling or pills will take it away. It always comes back. It will always haunt her. All it takes is a trigger. A face to face confrontation with the image of an abused child. It hurts, damn it. I don't care how old you are, it hurts.

You will find that many adult victims of child abuse have a wonderful sense of humor. They learn early that if they cry, people will say "hush, be quiet, you're getting on my nerves, if that's all you can do you can just go to bed, get outside and play, why can't you behave like....." So the victim learns to laugh, to be funny. Then everyone will think that they are hilariously fun to be around. Sound familiar? Everyone loves to be with her until the minute that inner abused child gets triggered. Then everyone runs. No body wants to be around. They want to put her in her place. People simply don't like her so much anymore because the mask slipped and its not fun. She isn't making them feel good today. She is different. So they turn their back and batter and hurt her all over again.

That is exactly what happened here. It has been proven once again. Nobody really wants to deal with abused children. Nobody really gives a damn about them. No body really wants to stick their neck out to help. They want to feel good for supporting their "Cause". When push comes to shove the adult children are on their on again. This is the "Cause". If you want to help abused children please remember they grow up and they still need you. It's not the damned cause that's hurting. It's the child.

I think everyone here owes Slyver an apology. She started this group and everyone was quite happy to enjoy it with her until the bruises popped up to slap her in the face. How, please tell me, is that helping abused children or the God almighty Cause.

That being said, I know that the person who came up with the idea to post images of abused children meant no harm. She's a good hearted person who meant well, and the minute she found out that her idea caused pain, she changed the image. That was a wonderful response and my hat is off to her.

Why couldn't it have been left at that? Why couldn't everyone see that a special person was in pain. Why couldn't they leave it alone? Slyver does not deserve to be abused all over again by the very people who enjoyed her wonderful sense of humor for so long. Why can't everyone be big enough to love her when the chips are down and support her even when she isn't laughing. She is an adult abused child. If you really care about the "Cause" send her some love, damnit.

5. 4 months ago arkansasrita wrote:

GRM...thank you for being the voice of reason. I could not agree with you more. There is no reason everyone involved ESPECIALLY those who attacked her (Slyver)..... could not have done the chronological research of Slyver's posts to see that she was referring to "shaming" the police department that would not respond to the young child she was trying to help! This post was WELL before the resulting riot that was encited.

I have no sympathy for those who carried this to such extremes! Laughingspirit and Slyver had resolved their problem. The photo was removed and an apology was accepted. An insight into the life of an abused child grown to adulthood was viewed. It should have ended there. Raw feelings were exposed from an anguished victim and a heartwarming person who wanted to help the child within.

I am in awe that the "powers that be" did not stop this rant long ago. I also feel certain that I will be attacked for my position on this matter. If I stand alone, so be it. I KNOW what I read, and I KNOW what was misinterpreted.

I feel a deep sadness for this whole situation and at least two very good hearted people. Much that COULD have been done through Eons by these two people will now be laid to rest.

I personaly would also not hesitate to leave this community if I felt myself under attack...and thus have kept very good records! Such a shame...that we could not all join in the protection of not only laughinspirits "abused children" and also Slyvers "potential" child of abuse.

6. 4 months ago dianna wrote:

Test, no doubt you are now aware the blog you read was about a teenager who was in danger on the internet and the bad response of the town's police.

I ask you to re-post with the correct information.

7. 4 months ago TestofF8th wrote:

I am not referring to the Martinsville blog. I read them both. The blog I participated in busting was a blog that was specific to Laughing Spirits child abuse issue. Perhaps you didn't see that one, but I sure did, as did many others. Of course the truth is no longer there, and everyone seems to be so enamored with Slyver that they fail to see anything but the humorous side of her. Not that the Martinsville blog was very nice either, but the two blogs were contrary to each other. One week she is saving the poor child from herself, and the next week she is against making people aware of child abuse. Get real!

8. 4 months ago TestofF8th wrote:

FYI, the title of Slyver's blog was "One Woman's Opinion". If you all have the chronology of this, and copies of her blogs, then you know what was written.

I know all to well that she is hurting, and I am sorry for that. However, IMHO, had she not written "One Woman's Opinion" none of these blogs would have been written by myself or others. Surely most of you commenting here read that blog as well (it had a lot of booms on it), but must be having short term memory issues because you wish to support your friend. Take off your blinders and see it for what it is, someone who has some demons of her own that she needs to face. Just because you never talked about it doesn't mean that it didn't happen.

9. 4 months ago hotmama2005 wrote:

people what goes around comes around the ones that did this is going to get it in the end. for the ones that got hurt god be with you all ways.
eons wake up!

10. 4 months ago KarenBee wrote:

The blog that Slyver asked us all to BOOM to the front page was about the Martinsville police department ignoring the young girl in danger, and I was one of the ones who read her post asking this and responded by Booming it.

Then a day or two later she made that second blog, and even posted that she hoped that people would not confuse the two and think she was referring to that new one. Apparently they did, and all of this happened.

A careful review by someone high up in Eons who has access to all of the posts and blogs and who can see the chronology would easily prove this.

Anyone who wants to claim otherwise is mistaken.

11. 4 months ago TestofF8th wrote:

Nobody was confusing anything. The two blogs are entirely different, and my comments in this blog have nothing to do with Slyver's methods of promoting herself. My response above has to do with the anger that was quite evident in her "One Woman's Opinion" blog.

I do not belong to "Ask the Grannies" or any of her groups. Slyver is a worker and a good person. She just took this one too far and did not get the result she had hoped for. She would have been better off just accepting the apology from Helen and letting it go.

12. 4 months ago nanamarcie wrote:

It seems to be, by the comments posted here, that the Slyver clique is the group that won't let this go; even though they are protesting just the opposite.

Test posted a positive blog here in support of a friend who was getting threatening PMs and PMs accusing her of having a nervous breakdown and goodness knows what else. Of course she left eons. Although I did not participate in contacting Slyver via PMs, I can only assume she got many of the same type PMs and was driven from eons under the same pressure and stress as laughing.

(I had my own set of other problems with Slyver; she treated me very shabbily several months ago and never had the courtesy to even tell me what I had done that upset her... To this day I have no idea why she was pissed at me...we were never in any groups together but became friends because I liked her blogging and her crusade for copyright issues. Suddenly she un-friended me and posted a comment about dropping friends who were unworthy of her.)

I never cease to be amazed at how "brave" cowardly people are when sitting at a keyboard.

It is time for everyone to get a grip.

Both women deserved better treatment.

13. 4 months ago hippiemama wrote:

seriously, personally attacking someone,by stating, its always about slyver, is wrong. you can spin it any way you want, deny it, play with it, its still wrong. blaming others, acting the good person, all dont work very long. testofF8th, you attacked her, we all read it, thats pretty much it. ls left after people began attacking her, way after sly was already gone. so no excuses are left.

14. 4 months ago Oma24 wrote:

At this point, it doesn't seem to matter what the truth is. Take a little of this and a little of that, add your opinion and spin, and you get a pot of turds. People are running around like Chicken Little repeating what they heard from someone who heard it from someone else who heard it from their friends. Facts don't matter because it wouldn't be so much fun.

If you don't know the facts - not second and third and 8th hand rumors, stay out of it. People are sending hate mail to both Sly and to Laughing and there is no excuse for that. I know them both, I like them both, and they are talking out this problem on their own off site. Right now it's nobodies business but their own and just because you have an opinion doesn't mean you have to state it.

Opinions are like as*holes, everyone has one (yes, including me).

15. 4 months ago DebinAZ wrote:

I only saw the one blog piece and I don't need to be told what I see for myself. Two people are hurting? From my view this is a result of one coming out first in attack against another Eons member and I made a bust post on it, myself.

We have the right to freedom of speech and this includes what was in that "One Woman's Opinion", but when someone speaks they might regard how others may react. To not expect a consequence is both pompous and naive and I find no "humorous" side in a person who would do so.

In the end, this was all supposed to be about children who hurt, who are real, not about the sensibilities of adult boomers who need to grow up and if they don't wish to be part of a solution, then don't chastise those who do.

If THIS is too strong a post for some here, I can do better, as I hold no affinity for abusers, or, for their blindfolded, albeit passive, enablers.

deb

16. 4 months ago Debirae wrote:

I missed all the commotion due to being under the weather, and from what I read I am glad that I did. I so dislike when things like this happen here, maybe I live in an Eons bubble, but I guess I also expect us all to get along, figuring we are adults and it should be that way.

However with different personalities, and such it is difficult, doesn't matter if it is real life or the internet, things happen. I am sure we all have been guilty of allowing our fingers to fly across the keyboard in response to something we read, voicing our feelings and never stopping to read what we just typed to see how it may be taken on the receiving end. The result, we hit send, and it is forever gone, no taking it back. I have done this when irritated by the negativity that can happen in posts, I usually try to go back and apologize for voicing my thoughts. Now, I choose to not debate issues with people, I read what they have to say, and leave it at that.

I know that Child Abuse is a very painful, harmful issue, and I am sure that those who have been abused are hurt more by just the mention of the words. I don't think any of these two ladies meant any harm, it isn't or wasn't their reason for being here on Eons.

I can't state my thoughts on what was said, because I didn't read it, see it, or hear it first hand. I know that Laughingspirits was always trying to reach out and help others, she has a big heart, one that keeps on giving. Slyver I knew from starting the Grannies and with us all trying to help those so opposed to the age changes. I do not like the fact that things got out of hand and they both left, but feelings hurt are hard to overcome, especially when other attack them when they are down already.

I appreciate all they tried to do within their groups, and am saddened by their leaving. But I choose not to point fingers, just comment on what a loss, and how sad it makes me feel.

Remember please, how cutting words in a comment, PM, guest book, and the like can be, and be sure to choose your words wisely.