I Am An Abused Child

I am so sorry to hear your story but also am encouraged by your survival story and your willingness to help others! It's amazing that child abuse is all around us, closer than most of us imagine. The only way for the survivors of abuse to help themselves is to first fully acknowledge what happened and that is was not their fault and then work from there to heal. Of course this process sometimes requires professional help. It sounds like you've done a great job of working through this and are willing to help others. Congratulations on your healing so far and keep up the good work -- I'm sure it involves a lifetime of work! And thank you for your readiness to help other survivors of abuse!

I am sorry you were robbed of the magical childhood that you should have had. I applaud you for your courage to work through all of the abuse and have some healing to your soul. You are true survivor with a story to tell and much compassion to want to help other abused children.
I am a survivor of emotional abuse by my mother. I am still working through it and she is still trying to push the proverbial buttons. I am now able to let it go in one ear and out the other because I refuse to be treated in an abusive manner. Thank you for your blog post.
You are a true survivor and an inspiring person!

Big hugs to you Suzie.
You truely are a survivor. Thank you for writing this in the hopes that
others will learn something from it. God bless you.

I am so sorry to hear about your childhood. Mine was very similar in that my mother was extremely emotionally and verbally abusive and my father was physically abusive. In my hurry to marry and get out of there I married an abusive man and lived with him for 30 years. I am just now learning things about myself that are good, and strong, and all of the things I was taught that I was not. After my father hit me in the head with his fist and ruptured my eardrum when I was sixteen I did try to get help from a teacher. Her only response was "Well, I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you so badly." I am so grateful that the attitudes toward abuse have changed! It happens all too frequently but at least now it is no longer accepted and people don't just look the other way. Thank you for sharing your experience. This is the first time I have found the courage to put my experience in writing.

You are certainly a survivor and its nice to hear that you are working with high school students. Often times they need someone who has experienced what they are going through to better understand and help them. I adopted a little girl (she was 11 now she 39) who had been abused by someone in her birth family. The adoption worker said it was one of the worst cases of abuse she had ever seen. She was under 5 and does not seem to remember any of it. I thought she might have borderline personality disorder but the doctors says it is Bipolar II. She does not abuse her children (age 17 & 14) physically or sexually but she does mentally and I am helpless (mostly name calling) to stop it. They love her and want to live with her. It is so nice to read your success story. I am so glad you had you grandmother and father to help you with the tough times.

I am so proud of you for telling your story of abuse. It can't be easy even after many years. I hope that other victims who still need to reach out and begin the healing will read your story and have the courage to start the healing. I have been amazed when reading some replies about how many have not acknowledged the abuse and still are trying to deny it and so are not even starting the healing process. They will never even glimpse any peace until they attempt to heal. You are a wonderful friend, and I feel blessed that you are in my life.

I am so sorry to hear your story, but am amazed at how you have survived it and have dealt with it. I'm sure you have been a blessing to other abused children as you can truly relate to them. May God bless you and everyone you touch.

Your story is so sad, yet triumphant. That you could pick yourself up from the life you were given and appreciate the good things that were there. Abuse does seem to run in families so it isn't really surprising that your mother's abuse caused her to abuse you, although that is no excuse. We have to stop this cycle of violence and ignorance of our children. People like you are the kind that make difference that you will never even know. I'm sure you have touched so many lives with your courage. You truly are a survivor! Mary

God Bless You my friend. My heart goes out to you and the many other children who were abused and are still being abused.

It just makes me sick inside to realize that these things can happen to a child, innocent, loving unconditionally, we all need to reach out and do all we can to stop this terrible act.

You are a survivor, a wonderful example of that! Thank you for sharing your story.

Ahh the sins of the parents I know it well. I was also abused, but mentally.
My best friend was abused sexually by her father over many years. So abuse is something I know about first hand.
I understand the anger, the frustration of living with it and the extremely hard work it takes to rise above it and beyond it.

thanks for the story.
Kat

topazgram,

You are an inspiration to many of us. And it is such stories that need to get to those who haven't heard yet, that they are not alone, and they DO NOT have to feel bad or guilty.

We baby boomers are the largest segment of the population, so it makes sense that we encompass so many who have been abused. There are so many forms of it, and the affects manifest themselves in many ways.

Affection was all but non-existent in our household - a strict catholic one. We six kids grew up not knowing it, and the three oldest (I'm the 2nd) exhibited true signs - so introverted, in bad marriages with troubled men, struggling to keep sane while trying to make our insignificant worlds work. My oldest sister escaped her's, and is now in a wonderful marriage. My next youngest has just entered her 1st marriage (at 51)(she preferred married men before, so she wouldn't have to get emotionally committed). I so wish her luck. It seems a good match. As for me, after two very bad marriages over a span of 33 years, I've finally (at 53) found a wonderful man.

My 1st husband enjoyed hitting me and telling me I'd never make anything of myself. Not long after I divorced him, he went to prison for involuntary manslaughter. My second husband was very troubled, and couldn't handle money. He also was hurt on his job, and became addicted to his prescription drugs. So, you can figure out where all our money went. For when he couldn't get his drugs from this doctor or that, he got them from the streets - where he also gambled our hard-earned money away. I told him I was going to leave him. He said he'd kill me if I took his kids away from him. I took that to heart, and lived under a veil of fear for a number of years. One night he had a gun. The kids and I spent a couple of nights in a shelter. Another night he came home saying he needed money to pay off a gambling debt, and that someone was waiting outside for him. I had no money, so I called the cops. From that point on, my husband never threatened me again. I had crossed a threshhold. I began to have courage and became aware he couldn't hurt me. His habits didn't change, though. A couple of years later I kicked him out of the house. A year and a half after that, he died in an assisted-living home - alone. I still have guilt trips about that.

Out of these two marriages, I brought 3 beautiful kids into the world - all grown now. I could have done much better with my first if I'd known how to. Still, we are close. My 2nd two - they are my joys. My 2nd daughter is a Navy Ensign, on a ship bound, as I write this, for the Gulf. She was such a joy and a breeze to raise. I had fun being her mom. In such a lousy atmosphere at home, I spent all my energy doing things with her - and a little later, with my son (my baby). He is still at home with me.

Now, I am content.

topazgram, I got carried away. Your story opened up a little floodgate in me. Guess that is your purpose, and a most noble one - to allow others to let go of their pasts and begin anew. Talking is a beginning.

Thank you.

earthenhues

My thoughts are with you...

Bravo, suzie - You took your pain and turned it into compassion, and your compassion into action, and in so doing surely made a difference in more than a few young people's lives.

Bravo! From one survivor to another: thank you. It must be apparent to you by now that you have not only helped open the eyes of some who may not have been aware of the huge scope of child abuse, but you have helped other survivors. Those reading your blog are now getting not just one, but many stories of abuse. Somewhere out there is a child who will talk to a person who will now hear with different ears, and he or she will receive help - because you spoke out. Also, others are gaining the courage to tell their story for the first time because you showed that courage. Now they, too, can begin the path toward a fuller, healthier, and happier life. Thank you!

What a brave person you are to tell your story. What a wonderful woman your Grandmother was for "stepping up". You stepped up to help other children and didn't carry on the cycle of abuse. I wish you a peaceful life.

My Grandparents ran a business and a lot of my Grandfather's friends would sit and visit with him, when he was waiting on customers, a couple of his friends liked to "feel me up". At that period in time, no one ever talked or mentioned anything about it so I never told anyone. My husband committed suicide when our daughter was 15 and I later re-married, fortunately to an individual who was a wonderful step-father, but I was constantly on guard watching, prepared to not let anything happen to my daughter due to memories of my childhood. Many years later I once again remarried to a man I felt God had sent to me as I had been single for so many years, however, after we married I learned the hard way that he was a sociopath, that's the way they work. Have talked to other ladies who have had the same experience. No physical abuse, MENTAL. After 2 1/2 years I finally gained enough strength to walk out, resulting in a "mini nervous breakdown". That was over 10 years ago but it seems like it was only yesterday. I fear that children will suffer in silence as I did or perhaps have a parent that is a sociopath and ruin their little minds, these people are normally upstanding citizens and one would never dream they have this other personality, therefore it goes undetected and the children suffer as no one would think this upstanding person would inflict any kind of pain on anyone, so the child has no one to turn to. Abuse comes in many many forms and even when a child is helped sometimes those memories can't be removed. I admire you so much for sharing your story with us, it is so sad your childhood was ruined, there is nothing more special than a Mother's love and you were robbed of that love, I shed tears for you my friend and for all of the children who do not have your strength or courage. May God watch over them as in some occasions we may not be able to intercede and help them.

Thank you for your story. I posted a much smaller statement about my experiences in Valley's Coffee Shop. It is true that though we have adult bodies we still feel like a child inside. It is amazing that with all the awareness of these terrible crimes against children that it still abounds and where you would least expect it.

Suzie,
We do have so much in common as to our childhoods. Mine was both parents mentally, physically and sexually. I got out at 16 and never looked back to this day. Do not know if they are still alive and "Frankly my dear..." We are survivors you and me. Thank you for sharing your story.
Ken

I read your blog and I must say you are an amazing person,and a survivor...You hear about things like abuse going on and when someone shares a story with you it makes you stop and think....i just want you to know that it takes a lot of courage to help kids out like you seem to be doing,and it makes us think alot about kids going through what you did....God bless you and My prayers are with you....Hugs Kathy