When my father died, my 80-year-old mother was left with 50 years of memories and eight rooms packed with furniture, dishes, papers, books, and knickknacks.
Although she wanted to move to a more manageable space, the prospect of finding a new place and selling the old house seemed overwhelming to both of us. But that was the least of it.
When it came time to pack, it turned out that every item, from my dad's old slippers to an electric frying pan with a frayed cord, was laden with emotion and worthy of debate. We fought, we cried, and we worked to the brink of exhaustion. If only I had known that there are companies set up specifically to handle such moves.
Companies that move seniors
The fastest-growing segment of the moving business focuses on transitioning seniors. Their list of services runs the gamut from helping clients decide what to keep and what to give away, to finding a moving company and doing the physically demanding work of packing and unpacking.
"Its more than just wrapping up china," says Carol Oniskey of Hands of Change, a Massachusetts company that specializes in moving seniors. "We do whatever it takes to help our clients transition to a new phase of life."
In South Florida, Sharon Cofar of A Move Made Easy works with real-estate agents to coordinate the sale of the old house, draws up room plans of the new space, and helps clients determine what is valuable and what should be tossed. "Whether it's a $2 ornament or a priceless antique, it's about earning respect and building trust," says Cofar.
"I hired Sharon's company to move my dad from Florida to Colorado, "says Sandy Goldman a 60-year-old from Boulder. "I was stumped. How could I sell his place, pack up, find him a new place, and still hold down my job? When I discovered A Move Made Easy, it was like I had been cloned. They took care of everything."
Both companies take photos, so that shelves, artwork and furniture in the new location can be arranged just as they were in the client's former home.
"That consistency is especially important with Alzheimer's patients," explains Oniskey. "We encourage all of our clients to leave for the afternoon while we set up their new place. They go out to lunch with friends while we make the bed, hang pictures, and even put their slippers by the bed. When they walk in the door for the first time, it truly feels like home."
Safety in the new home is also a concern. "I make sure that there aren't rugs that can skid or showers without grips," says Cofar. "I even found one client a lift chair and had it waiting in his new living room the day he moved in."
You can do it!
Selling a family home and moving to a smaller space is almost an inevitable part of getting older. If you can afford it, consider hiring a company like Hands or Change or A Move Made Easy to help.
Find movers that specialize in moving seniors by visiting the National Association of Senior Move Managers, asking the director of your senior community housing or searching the web under "Senior Movers."
If you are on a tight budget, then with planning and participation from your older relative and support from family and friends, you can make the transition smoother for everyone by following the advice below.
-Give older people time to adjust to the idea of moving. Ask them to clean out one drawer or one closet at a time - not a whole house
-Start by organizing the basement or attic - places for storing items that aren't used often. Make three piles: one for keepers, one for giveaways, and one for trash.
-Don't make hasty decisions. You can put things into temporary storage and deal with them later.
-Know what will fit into the new space. Make a floor plan and measure. If it's clear that there isn't room for a bed, two bureaus and a nightstand, it will be easier make a decision about what to keep.
-Hire a moving company to do at least some of the packing. It will be less stressful for your parent or relative to deal with a third party than with you.
-Take photos of items that are being sold or given away and label them with a memory. "This is the table where we had our first Thanksgiving."
-Find worthy homes for sentimental items. It will be easier for your relative to part with something if she knows it will stay in the family or go to others who will appreciate it.
-Involve older people in all the decisions leading up to the move. Take them often to visit their future home and respect any concerns they may have. Understand that this is a stressful and emotional time.
-Don't hesitate to ask others for help. Moving is a big job.
-Set up the new place quickly so that it feels like home. Arrange for someone to visit daily during the first few weeks.
Carol Band is an award-winning writer and humor columnist. She has written about travel, relationships, food and parenting for magazines and newspapers including The Boston Globe, Booming Magazine and Bay Area Parent.
