CONGRATULATIONS TO HIPPIEGIRL52- VOTED THE WINNER OF THE FULLEST LIFE CONTEST!
Hippiegirl52 will receive an iPod shuffle, a $50 iTunes gift card and an Eons sweatshirt!
Thank you to everyone who participated in the contest! We received so many moving posts, and heartwarming comments to the winners. We look forward to doing another community contest soon.
HippyGirl52's winning post:
I saw this contest on Eons front page and quickly dismissed the idea of submitting because you will think I am insane as I write this. I am a Caregiver for my husband, a sweet, British gentleman who I met in my 20’s when he was a neighbor. Fifteen years ago, we married. And then, we decided to live happily ever after.
For the first ten years of our marriage, we socialized and traveled, had a large circle of friends and the house where everyone came in Scottsdale, AZ. We traveled to the UK and Europe, cruised out of each port off the US coast and made several trips north and south to Canada and Mexico. We traveled cross-country 3 times by car, taking those leisurely trips where you plan to take 3 weeks to get from Arizona to Vermont, singing ourselves hoarse to our own mixes burned into cd's while we stopped to see “everything interesting along the way.”
We had everything that a marriage could have and we absolutely felt each other was our own “gift from God.” But then, a fall, some shoulder surgery, a small stroke, 90% recovery and gratefully back to “almost normal” for a couple years and then, his dementia started.
At first, it was just a nod or a pause and I could fill in the words and people didn’t know. After all, the “old boy had a few years on ‘im” but then it got worse.
What I knew about dementia would “fit on the head of a pin and still have room for the Lord’s prayer” at this point but I became an expert. And then, it got worse. All your education cannot prepare you for watching someone you love struggle day-by-day with the progression of this disease.
So, how can I ever talk about this being the “fullest life”? I have learned more about myself in the past few years than I did in the fifty that preceded them. I have learned that:
When you care for a sick person, you are the lucky one. I would not want to be sick and dependent anyone.
When you say those words “better or worse, sickness and in health”, you really better love the person.
Family and friends thin out and it hurts but you are left with a few of very best people after all.
When you are exhausted, you sometimes wake up praying.
You can comfort someone and replace their fear of losing your mind with joy and laughter.
The days when the “fog clears” – and we talk, are better than any day we’ve had before while we were traveling.
I will never be the person I was before. This is a life-changing experience but I know that I am using every skill I have learned throughout my life to get him the care that he needs, to support us, to make our decisions and to get ready for what lies ahead. Fullest life? Yes, right now, this must be my destiny. I truly feel that I am helping someone move from the human to spiritual side and I am not sure if it is that dear man or me.



posted by milostorm
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posted by acatslady
My mother-in-law put her third husband into a nursing home in the early stages because she did not want to be responsible for him. He scaled a fence and escaped and then she had him declared incompetant through the courts. His life was virtually over after that. Every time we visited, he would ask what he did to get put in there and whatever it was, he wouldn't do it again.
We moved him from that nursing home where he was drugged heavily to control his escape impulses and eventually moved him to the Soldiers and Sailors home where he was with his army buddies. We visited till the end and fought for hospice for him so his suffering would not be prolonged. Even his children didn't go to see him.
You are so right. When this illness hits, people run. At least the ones with no character. You are an inspiration. It can easily happen to any of us. My sister-in-law's younger husband had a stroke and is in a bad way. Luckily, she is a nurse. You hang in there and CONGRATULATIONS!
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posted by ambersand
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posted by ChefJan
I am "blown away' by your wisdom and grace ! Bravo, I knew you were a very special person when I met you, now I understand that I am rubbing elbows with an angel. God Bless you with all my love and admiration,
Cheffie
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Peggy
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posted by rockymtngypsy
Congratulations on winning the contest! It went to the best woman!
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posted by riverofmylife
Life has given you a bucketful of lemons and you have made the sweetest lemonade to share with others.
May you always have the courage and wisdom to walk the path of highest good for yourself and others.
Namaste.
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posted by blueskiestmrw
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posted by Debirae
I admire you, I am in awe of your outlook and know that you truly, deeply love your husband!
Blessings on you both!
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posted by sflattem
you are a great leader, friend, teacher and soulmate...your journey now is sharing your love with your husband in a different way...the time I spent taking care of Terri as she was dying of brain cancer was special...the intensity go great I was sleeping 10-11 hours a day, and it was not physical attention she needed, but the ongoing love that poured from my heart to hers, as you are pouring your love into his.
congrats...boss...you definitely earned the kudos
steve
(Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.)
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Love Ya,
Sis
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LaLa
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hugs, Valerie
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posted by NichChick
This has been the greatest sight EVER I am pretty new to eons, and I have meet soooo many wonderful people who share stories and laughter with each other, and then the occassional love story that just melts your heart.
Let me shine this light on you and let your love shine on forever!!
No you will never be the person you once was, YOU WILL BE BETTER.
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posted by bywaterbelle
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posted by hippiemommaida
Now, I want to tell you to also take care of yourself. If you do not get enough rest or just take a break to go out for a meal, that is important. I wish to give you support in any way possible. If you lived in my town, I would come and releive you so you could get your hair done, or just go to the library and read a book. My prayers are with you. And know this, no matter what happens, it will be ok. Eventually.
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posted by Jeeprzz
Take care of yourself, inallways
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posted by freedomguy51
I to am living with my Mother-in-law and she has dimentia. She is always hiding things and walking around carrying her purse with her shades on. She is currently taking "namenda" which seems to help at times. We are also trying Tumeric which is supposed to help. Hope things are going well. Gary
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You are a special person.
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Carol
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posted by olgathegreat
Congratulations on your winning this contest. You truly deserve it. Your story is inspiring. My father had a stroke and my mom was caring for him as much as you are doing it now for your husband. It is very hard. I wish you strength and my thoughts are with you. Thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us. I admire you. I am not sure I could do something like this if it happened in my family. My husband is 11 years older than me. Unfortunately, life is short, we need to remind our loved ones every day that we love them.
Thanks again. God bless you!
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Mollie in Georgia
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suebrew
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posted by LadyWillow
Thanks for sharing, it must have been very difficult to put your story on paper, you deserve to be chosen as a winner for your courage and fortitude. /;)
LynnJ AKA LadyWillow
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posted by MaryLynn321
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posted by rh296
Randy
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posted by riverofmylife
You are living life to the fullest for someone else which leaves your cup full to the brim always.
Namaste.
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Free Comments & Graphics
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LaLa
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posted by RoadTripDreamer
Congratulations on winning this interesting contest.
Carol White
RoadTripDreamer
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Ri
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