The oldest of 5 children, and yet so different than the other 4, two brothers, two sisters. I am short, dark haired, and fluffy, and have all my father's ailments, which scares me a little. Everyone else is tall, thin and blonde, with very few ailments, and all extremely active.

How does this happen? Is the first born the one who is given all the "traits of either/or both parents? Why is that? How do you rise above it? How do you deal with it?

I have always considered myself "healthy" someone who rarely will say they don't feel well, goes to work, carries on without anyone really knowing I don't feel well. I have done this since I was a child, I think because I was always the one to help my Mother around the house and with the kids. The youngest two and I are 13 & 14 years apart, so there was always a lot to help with.

About 9 years ago, I would wake up and just not feel "great" but would go to work, do what I had to do, helping take care of my grandson, you name it I did it.

The first thing that I noticed was the constant pain in my left knee, and my inability to lose weight. Water aerobics, walking, and watching what I eat, and still I wouldn't lose weight, I didn't gain any, but still didn't lose it. And my knee got to the point where it was unreliable.

I finally had a complete knee replacement when it got to the point where I could barely get around with the use of a cane, and from the first day following surgery I was pain free. Pain free, amazingly I feel like a million dollars, never really realizing how much the constant pain wears you down.

I became actively walking 5 days a week, water aerobics 3 times a week, and still no change in the weight department. Why? I was more active with my new knee, what was going on?

I felt like I was this 5' 5" snow person, that if I fell down, I would just keep on rolling until I was stopped, sort of like a rubber ball.

No, it isn't a pretty me, the good thing is that I have a very outgoing personality, so I think people take to that before they are concerned with my fluffiness.

I worry about my health, worry if I will have a stroke, you name it, I worry about that, and yes, I know, worry is not good, stress is not good, anxiety is not good.

So I have talked to the Doctor's had a complete blood work up and found out that I am Type 2 Diabetes (Insulin Resistant). Lucky me, my body loves to produce insulin and then store it as fat - yuck! So as the Doctor says, you are caught in a catch 22... you need to lose weight, can't do a lot of exercise because of my other knee.

What am I going to do? Take a deep water running class, I am trying to find one in a heated pool, so far I can only find one in an outside unheated pool. But if need be, that is what I will take. That will get my heart rate up more than the aerobics class, and hope to jump start my weight loss.

I also signed up for Weight Watchers on Line - and am Manager of the Weight Watchers Group here on Eons. The group had lost its manager and I offered to take it over and have a great Moderator who is also using Weight Watchers for her weight loss.

To people, even my family it appears that I am not doing enough to get the weight off. But then I suppose I can't really expect those who have never experienced a weight problem to understand. My Dad says - have the bypass surgery, my Mom says eat only Salads, my brother says - cut out the sweets.

What are sweets? I haven't had sweets in so long I am not sure what my body would do if I did partake.

So I struggle to cook the best meals, chicken, turkey, fish, fresh steamed vegetables, salads, and fruits. They taste good, my entire family eats them, and are fine with what I do - but the weight is still there and I become more and more frustrated.

Need I add that suffering from depression I am sure does not help things, if only I could see just a little improvement, a little light at the end of the long, long tunnel.

So - with Weight Watchers, I hope that encouragement from the group members, friends, and all my hard work will take off and I will soon notice a small decrease. I am not expecting a mass improvement right away, I am ready for baby steps, hard work and most of all dedication.

If you have any weight issues at all, drop on by the Weight Watchers group, and join the fun, the friendship and support of the group.

Weight Watchers Group -
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