A beautiful boy and ADHD

posted 4 months ago

I feel so irritated sometimes because people have a lack of understanding with ADHD. I once too was uneducated about it. Many people think it is because a lack of discipline, or think its something the parent did wrong! I have had enough of that notion. I have done everything I know to help my beautiful son. Before he was actually diagnosed our family was in such a dissaray over him. The teacher complained and complained about his listening skills and his continuous disruptions. The easiest tasks for him were near impossible. He could not focus long enough to even tie his own shoes. I was just about at my wits end when he was diagnosed with the ADHD and put on a mild dose of concerta. I am not for letting meds correct everything, but since then he has made a complete turnaround.

Now a have made a group called 'Parents of Children with ADHD'. I felt so helpless for so long. And I wanted there to be somewhere on eons wherer we could have a support net to help one another cope and understand our kids.

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1. 4 months ago brownidgyrl wrote:

I have been where you are. My son, grandson and granddaughter all have ADHD and dyslexia. I too had a parent's support group when the grandchildren were small. They have lived with me for over 12 years and Jesse graduated last year - Ashleigh is now a junior and doing well. There is hope. Our biggest help besides the support group was that a man here in our town who had previously owned all the MacDonalds here decided to retire and when his grandchild developed learning differences, he invested and opened a school for our kids. Jesse went there for three years - grades 5, 6 and 7 - it cost me my nest egg - but it was so worth it. He had the greatest degree of disability and yet made the honor roll his senior year of high school. He is a computer whiz kid and has a great job at ToyRUs. There is a future for Gabriel - most all ADHD kids are extremely smart. Jesse took Straterra for a few years but opted to take himself off of it in 11th grade. Ashleigh is more just ADD with mild dyslexia and only took meds a little while. Neither of them liked the way they felt on meds after they hit puberty but in the early stages we might not have made it without meds. You have a tough time ahead - but, as an expert once told us - your worst day is not nearly as tough as an ADHD kid's every day. There are also very strict federal laws governing what schools MUST do only many parents never are told the whole story about that. I could go on and on (can you tell this is my soap box) but I will stop. But if you would like any further info just look me up. Brownidgyrl - in Louisiana

2. 4 months ago Suzette wrote:

I am more than proud of YOU. You're doing a fantastic job with both Gabriel and Isabelle. I love you...Mom.....

3. 4 months ago Wing52 wrote:

I totally understand where you come from! I have a son who is now 25 who had A.D.D. and it was tough year to year with him. He was diagnosed in the first grade and was put on rytelin we went through many years of trying to find just the right dose to give him each day. Either he was undermedicated or overmedicated. At time he acted like a zombie when the dosage was too high. He WAS like two different kinds of kid when he was on it or when he was off of it. On the weekends they allowed us to take him off of it and have him only on it during the week. He had special allowances given him for tests a private room and a calculator to do his work. We struggled with the meds for a long time until we discovered dexedrine it was a fairly new thing on the market but worked wonders for him he focused and did great! When he was not on medication and he lost a board game he threw a fit and cried and sometimes dumped the game, but when he was on medication and he lost he just said okay..do you want to play again?? He still struggles a little with the focus issue...and I truly think he should see the doctor because I know adults deal with a.d.d. also....We had trouble year to year. Kids like my son had to be put on a I>E>P program ( Individual Education Program ) Which set goals for each year and their was a conference every year to discuss his progress with the teachers. The thing that made me angry is every year we had to begin again and tell the teachers he was on medication and needed special care at that first conference and usually they said they didnt know of it!! Thats one thing I would advise you is to keep close touch with the teachers and let them know of your situation.

God Bless you...Wendy

4. 4 months ago jamryn wrote:

I just wanted to say I enjoyed reading this blog. I am dyslexic and suspect I'm also ADD. I diden't discover any of this till way past the age of 50. I have two grand children diganoised ADD and I'm glad they have the advantage of meds.

5. 4 months ago tachpa wrote:

My youngest wasn't diagnosed with it until in his 20's. He was a challenge as he grew. He was rarely aggressive. More passive. I wasn't diagnosed with it until I was 55. My son's teachers were, for the most part, as helpful as they could be. because he didn't cause trouble they weren't quite sure what to do. From the first pill I took, generic adderall, I knew I had finally found the answer. I had a thought all to the end of it. I finished things within a reasonable amount of time. I've had mine increased over the years and may have again. If I have to I will. Raising my son was generally interesting. He is smart, funny and kind. He is also 6'5" 285 lbs of ADHD. I'm 5 foot tall. I think he needs an increase in his medication. When he isn't on his meds he is like a tight spring. He rarely ever gets or got angry. I know his doctor and while he is an adult, I don't think anyone is noticing what I am. Like I was, they are used to him being erratic. I know how I feel and act and don't see that in him yet.

You're doing good. Screw the rest of the world. We take care of our own. Mom's just do that
Lily

6. 4 months ago MotherWillow wrote:

Hi Moms (at least it appeared to be all moms)
I'm new to this site and looking forward to communicating with others caught up in this ADD world. My daughter is 15 and wasn't diagnosed until the 7th grade. It was discovered after she was accepted into a prestigious prep school. It was truly overlooked because she was previously a straight A student with a remarkable intelligence level.
We had personality issues all along (when I reflect back on her formative years) but she was never out of control in the classroom. After nearly flunking out of the 7th grade I thought the transition and stress of the new enviornment were to blame. She broke down crying after midterm exams and confessed "I just cannot focus, I can't pay attention". I was truly puzzled,but for whatever reason I began to research ADHD. Out of the 15 symptoms described, my daughter had 13. I was floored and devastated. How could this be? Of course my preconception of the disorder were kids who couldn't learn because they were swinging from the chandeliers most of the school day. This did not describe my daughter. Threatened by losing this opportunity to stay in a college prep environment I reluctantly had her tested. Of course at this sensitive age she was initially upset at being considered "crazy" and was not very cooperative with doctors. Well, to shorten the story, because of time constraints we elected medication over diet and behavior modifcation therapy. She takes Adderall and it made a major difference in her "comeback". Sadly to report though, she joined an elite group of classmates that reported to the nurses office everyday for their meds. I was horrified and suspcious of the numbers but of course my focus was on my daughter's well being.
We have since moved out of state and now in our 3rd school...still a college prep environment and she struggling to maintain her grades but this is high school now, a tougher curriculum in any school. She loves her new school but it's really testing her abilities. My biggest concern is although I understand how to approach her condition now and the meds have made a huge difference, we still seem to have personality issues that I can't seem to help her with. As bright and talented as she is (She's a self professed "theatre nerd") her self esteem is rock bottom and has been for a very long time. I'm very worried about her future. She seems to live in a self absorbed world where even she can't figure out how to get out.
Are relationship and personality issues a probelm for those of you who are adults with ADD or have older children with ADD? Her Dad is no help because he doesn't want to even face the issue that she has a real medical problem. But according to my research, ADD is hereditary and Dad has all 15 of the symptoms and he has a bear of a personality. I don't want that to be her future. Where to we go from here? What if anything works?
Mother Willow/Atlanta