“They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.” – Cher Greetings, darlings! Time for before and after... as in “before I ate all that Valentine’s chocolate, I could wear those tight jeans but after I ate it the waist band was cutting off my circulation..”
I started off with a Cher quote, darlings, because I adore her and we share the same name, albeit with a different spelling. And you know what, mon cher? It really ticks me off that she was SO skewered by the press for her appearance at the Grammy’s .. well, I agree that Gothy gray ( GRAY! What was she THINKING?) voluminous outfit was dreadful. One suspects she thought it was hiding a slightly ballooning ( for Cher) bod but all it did was make her look like a tattered, smoky blimp. And while I like the bangs, the color of the wig was not only brassy but clashed with the dress -- and, sweeties, it is hard to find something that clashes with gray but this manages to do it.
BUT I think her face is fabulous and I don’t get the mean comments, especially in the European press, screaming “ AT 61 , CHER LOSES BATTLE WITH AGE!”
Excuse the Botox out of me?
How many 61 year olds look that good? How may 31 year olds look that good? Puhleaze... dontcha wish you could see the picky snitty little mousy writer behind that headline?
Okokokokok.. As long as Cher gets criticized, can we give Val “I used to be so hot I thought I was God’s gift to women” Kilmer equal time? I don’t feel guilty dissing him because I’ve heard from my L.A. spies his ego is even bigger and more obnoxious than his beer belly. I'd say he's gone from Batman to fat man, but that wouldn't be nice. ( cough).
Anyhoo, he has a new starring role – as the voice of the car in the new version of “Knight Rider” that premiered tonight (Sunday) with Justin Bruening reprising the role that brought David Hasselhoff fame
Oh, you do TOO remember the original show with Hasselwhatshisface driving the crime-fighting KITT car controlled with artificial intelligence. Now the car will be “played” by a Ford Mustang instead of yesteryear’s l982 Pontiac Trans Am.While on the subject of David, I don’t want to hassle the Hoff but, well, you’ve heard all the stories about how he has his act together and went through rehab and all that jazz and is clean and sober?
Uh, not so much.
At least, what I hear – rumor or truth? – from a VERY reliable source is that he keeps getting loaded, checking into the hospital like it’s a spa, getting over the throw-ups and headaches and then is released back into “sober” life. Until he needs to “check in” for what he calls a “pit stop” at the hospital the next time...sad, sad, sad.. and he’s looking rather ragged and haggard, too, if you ask me.. which you didn’t but you know me – I’m telling you what I think anyway!
But, you know who does NOT look ragged? Lil’ ol’ Madonna!
She needs a reward for the BEST nips and tucks of the year.. Subtle but perfect. She looks like herself – only better than she ever did before. Methinks she even had the gap between her front teeth, which you used to vow to never have cosmetically altered, filled in a bit.
In fact, her face got RAVE REVIEWS at the Berlin Film Festival! Thatwas great because her directorial debut for “Filth and Wisdom”, which she also co-wrote, got reviews so bad THEY deserve a reward. My fave: “ the audience was suffering from clinical numbness” after seeing the movie, one wag wrote.
Yep, it is so bad it is Bad, it deserves a capital “B” .
The plot? Why , I’m so glad you asked. It’s something about a Ukrainian immigrant with a gypsy punk band who finances his rock star ambition by moonlighting as a cross-dressing dominatrix. And there’s a philosopher S and M escort and a ballet dancer forced to be a lap dancer. Uh-huh.
By the by , Madonna informed the ( unenthralled) audience at her flick’s premier that, natch, she took inspiration from great directors like Fellini.
Say WHAAAAAAT? Say “ pretentious prattle”.. that sort of sums it up.
It’s amazing she and director Guy Ritchie actually seem to be happily married but it's EVAH so nice they are defying the odds and staying together. And that reminds me of – ta da -- the ever gorgeously sexy Jon Bon Jovi.
Yep he has been a rock hunk for 25 years, sold 100 million albums, and is still with his original one and only wife, Dorothea, his high school sweetheart . AND he’s never had to go through rehab or the plastic surgeon’s office. ( Aside to Jon: psssst.. don’t you have any cute single, sane guy friends we could introduce Cher to? )
That’s it for now, darlings. Come back soon for more this and that about him, her and whomever. And do jump right into the mix with your picks, pans, comments and questions! In the meantime, go out there and have EONS of fun and make people gasp, “ Why, that is the most BOOMingly fabulous display of joy I’ve seen this century!”
