Have you ever wondered who sits behind a big desk and says, "I have to make labels for some new products" or wondered how stupid does Industry think the consumer is? These lables will make you wonder about both of these. Caution...the lovely comments in ( ) are mine. Enjoy!

1. On a blanket:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. (maybe if you are sailing off the roof, you can use it!)

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. (No kidding!)

3. On a foreign shampoo
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. (Uh Whyyyy)

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink: AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. (Sorry I thought it'd be fun to turn it upside down to drink itO

5. On a New Zealand insect spray
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. (Oh boy, use at your own risk)

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
-Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.- (Who are these people hiring?)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. (Laughing too hard to comment on this one)

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles OPEN OTHER END. (Gee, who knew? I wondered why cutting a hole in the bottom wasn't working))

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL? (To who?)

10. On a Sears hairdryer
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. (Why can't I?)

11. On a bag of Fritos
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (Can you say shoplifting or tampering?)

12. On a bar of Dial soap
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. Gee I thought I would use it like irregular soap)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Ohh now you tell me!)

14. On a Bread Pudding container:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (You think?)

15. On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (And who are you having to tell this to?)

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (That's right, give us choices!)

17. On a food processor
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Which is.....?)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (What kind, Pecans?)

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (There's only 4 nuts in that package. Who needs these instructions?)

20. On a Swedish chainsaw
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What? How many times has this happened before they needed to issue this warning?)

21. On a child's superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (But we know you're gonna try it!)

22. On some frozen dinners
SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST. Why? I like a mash potato popsicle)

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD. (How many heads will the competitor's caps fit at a time?)

24. On packaging for a cloths iron
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. (Sure would be easier when I'm running late

25. On a "Children's" cough medicine
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. (How old are these children and how often has this happened?)

26. On Nytol sleep aid
WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Well let me put this one back on the shelf. I need a sleep aid that will help me stay awake for 29 and a half hours.)

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Have a Great Day and a Peaceful Night!
Joyce