I have never been where you are, but I like the idea of the foursome. Keep looking. There is someone who loved his wife as much as you loved your husband, and the two of you, along with the memories of your spouses, can build a life together.
It has only been 8 months since my husband died of lung cancer, but every day is torture for me, it doesn't get any easier, or more tolerable. The most I miss is the simple day to day activities, the talks, the just "being together." Nights are the worst for me, no one there but me, no warmth, no legs and arms and breathing noises. Maybe there is a reason why this has to happen to us, we were married for 37 years with four grown children and had everything to live for. Now the entire family is fractured, a big hole is left and who knows if it ever will be filled again. I do so miss the companionship and love, I miss him so much, I am not the same person, and as I have learned, a lot of us are out there hurting, hurting. I don't know if anyone could even "fill his shoes," but who knows what the future holds, it could never be as bad as this is. Linda from Ma.
No, you will never be the same person again. No one is when there life crashes and burns. But 8 months is a very short time. Don't expect anything better for over a year. And even then, the pain is masked but never gone.
For me to love someone the way I loved and still love my husband, would mean filling his shoes. That's the only way I see it.
posted by rsb1953
I have never been where you are, but I like the idea of the foursome. Keep looking. There is someone who loved his wife as much as you loved your husband, and the two of you, along with the memories of your spouses, can build a life together.
rsb
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posted by iprudence
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posted by LindaLeeMarie
for me, it doesn't get any easier, or more tolerable. The most I miss is the simple day to day
activities, the talks, the just "being together." Nights are the worst for me, no one there but
me, no warmth, no legs and arms and breathing noises. Maybe there is a reason why this has to happen to us, we were married for 37 years with four grown children and had everything to live for. Now the entire family is fractured, a big hole is left and who knows
if it ever will be filled again. I do so miss the companionship and love, I miss him so much,
I am not the same person, and as I have learned, a lot of us are out there hurting, hurting.
I don't know if anyone could even "fill his shoes," but who knows what the future holds, it
could never be as bad as this is. Linda from Ma.
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posted by iprudence
No, you will never be the same person again. No one is when there life crashes and burns. But 8 months is a very short time. Don't expect anything better for over a year. And even then, the pain is masked but never gone.
For me to love someone the way I loved and still love my husband, would mean filling his shoes. That's the only way I see it.
Marion in NYC
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