It's Christmas Day now, and the Santana Winds are blowing. I should be used to sunny weather and warm days at Christmastime, but I still just can't associate Christmas with warm weather. That's another reason I love the night time celebrations here...it brings the sensation of winter's night.

I really feel for those who are sad today. Having a crisis or difficult time at Christmas is awful...I've experienced it myself, and have learned over time that if times are hard, the spirit of Christmas is still there if I look for it.

For me, Christmas is about the emphasis of love and the spirit of giving and receiving. That can take many forms. Once I had my wits about me in terms of dealing with Christmas on my own terms, I began to practice various ways of honoring the meaning of it by rising to whatever occasion I found myself in. Sometimes I would be serving meals at the local soup kitchen or volunteering at the food bank. Sometimes I would sit at the airport (pre-9/11) and watch families embrace each other when planes arrived. Sometimes I would drive around and look at the lights, taking in the effort and talent of whomever put those lights up for others to enjoy. Other times I put up lights inside and decorated in my own way, watching TV with my beloved cat Merlin and just feeling the good vibes of the day.

We find what we are looking for. If we want to be annoyed, we will be. If we want peace, we can make it happen in our own life. If we hate the deal-grabbing chaos of traditional Christmas sales, we can do our shopping in October, spend less, pay cash and be done with it. Or, we can have some spare change in our pockets so that if we are somewhere and see that perfect something for a special person, we can get it right there and then and save it for Christmas. Imagine the feeling that someone found something special for you, just for you, and had it in their heart to think of you all year and save that gift for Christmas day, and every time they looked at it they thought of you...and every time they looked at you they had that delicious anticipation of giving you that gift. Can you go there? I can.

We all have options for Christmas. Sometimes the family pressure is enormous and I am one of those lucky people that doesn't have it. My remaining family members and I don't even send each other Christmas cards or call each other (I am the only remaining female, what can I say? Guys are guys).

We are only truly free within ourselves. It is there that the heart of Christmas resides. Instead of complaining about the stress and pressures of Christmas, we can bail on the commercialism of it, at our age, and in those silent moments we can tune into the intention of Christ Mass, the incarnation of God into human flesh in order to better understand His creation and spend time with us.