I thought that being a part of a community of people over 50, certain "school boy" antics would not exist. Here we laid out our "stats" up front rather than let someone unseen rate who really were on "25 dimensions of compatibility" or using some other sterile questionnaire. If our hair is fly, we post a picture right away because we know we still look good. Hey, "black don't crack", remember? Plus, at our age, there's no need to lie or fudge our age, or take on an imaginary persona like "I'm 25, 5' 9", 123 lbs. and people say I look like Tyra Banks". We know that most everyone here has sore joints or high blood pressure or hair loss or even very serious medical conditions. Yet, I am getting emails from brothers with "Playa From The Himalaya" quips like "Oooh, oooh, I musta died an' wenta heaven!" or the time-worn "It must be jelly cuz jam don't shake like!" How a guy got that image from a still headshot, I'll never know!

As soon as my profile and picture were posted here, I was hit up by a man who claimed that our "behind the scenes" entertainment backgrounds made us a perfect match. He was telling me that he was in love with me after a mere 3 emails. I thought that he was just being witty and didn't mean to be taken seriously. And this site is very safe, keeping parties' conctact information private (although anyone with a modicum of intelligence can find most people with a few "Google's - here we are asked to post our cities, home towns, schools, etc. so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure you out). But after two weeks of wearing out the letters on my keyboard, we started speaking on the phone. It was my choice and I didn't feel as if I had placed myself in danger. And he seemed to be a very nice gentleman, with a calming demeanor and a continental air about him. Plus I can tell more about people when I can hear the tone in their voices or in asking the same question several times to see if I get the same answer. Yet, almost immediately, after a few pointed questions from yours truly, I began to discover that he had very little on the ball and liked to name-drop. Not many names but really powerful names. I let him go on because I always give a brother a chance. Soon he started doing and saying really juvenile things. When I shot him down about them, he claimed that he was "shy" and "naive" to "this e-dating thing". I had to repeatedly remind him that Eons is not a "dating service" and that nothing in my profile indicated that I was prowling for a man. I own my home, my business, my children are successful and well-mannered, I made my mark in my chosen field - you know, the things that we women just do. He also got defensive when, in a casual conversation about the perils of internet dating, I stated that I wouldn't allow ANYONE in my life until I ran a background check on him. He felt that to be too invasive, yet he kept moaning being played recently by a few women. The whole incident would have been quashed if he had utilized the same diligence that I referred to! (I still stand by my assertion because this ain't 1966 where you could pick up a nice guy at the movies or malt shoppe! Two words: TED BUNDY!!)

I could go on and on about his rapidly cracking facade, but the point of the story is, I didn't sign up to hear about how a man was so hurt in his last relationship (which, on THIS site, at the very least, the man would be in his late 40s, early 50s) or any number of excuses for being rude and crude. I have my own trunk of bad experiences and traumatic events but I have never used then as an excuse to hurt others. Keep in mind that this person made the initial approach towards me - and everything in my profile indicates that I'm nothing to play with.

So, my brothers out there who want to holla at women like the ones that I hope will be a part of my group "The SisterGirl Network", LET IT GO! We're not here to baby-sit grown ass men. We are mothers and grandmothers with young people who still need our guidance. Many of us are single, and have been single our whole lives, or are single due to widowhood or divorce after many years of marriage. At this point, we'd like to just have a innocent discourse with a man who is still not making excuses for failing to hold Black womanhood in high esteem. If we wanted to raise another male child, we would have just signed up at "MySpace" and returned the affections of the many young trainees who are impressed by our experience, love our mature curves, and for whom Viagra is a very long way off! And don't ever, EVER say anything crude to us. Intimacy is still important but it may not include swinging from the chandelier with our "video vixen" ponytail on our head! It might just be a nice dinner cooked with our capable hands, opening your beer, and watching a DVD from Netflix (which we BOTH are subject to fall asleep on!)

Fellows of a Certain Age, Divas don't want to hear that you still haven't gotten it together. (and we are ALL divas due to the obstacles that we, as African-American women, have overcome for hundreds of years). But if you are in that unfortunate state, then only reach out to us if you can be man enough to be honest. We love our men and, as nurturers, we are very unlikely to kick you to the curb just because you had to start from scratch after corporate robber-barons stole your pensions and shut down, leaving you "high and dry" at a time that you should be "wet and wild", sailing into the sunset of retirement. We love to be your resource, type your papers, give you advice, and that peck on the cheek to keep your spirits up. But we cannot and will not be supportive of anyone who continues to disrespect us with lying and crying, misuse and abuse.

So don't step to a sister with weak game. Leave your baggage behind, as we are inclined to do. I promise that I won't show you mine, so don't show me yours!!