When I was a student I worked as a barmaid during the summer in a hotel bar that employed bar waitresses. There were some pretty rough 'girls' among them who came from the local housing schemes, but we got on OK and I learned a fair bit about life from their side of the tracks.
One thing stuck in my mind from those days though. A waitress called Jeanette, built like a tank with a dyed blonde beehive hairdo, was highly critical of any other women coming into the bar. When a particularly glamorous dame walked in one day, Jeanette was heard to utter the unforgettable expression - "See her - if she wis chocolate, she'd eat herself.'
Brilliant.