I knew there would be anacondas, tarantulas, man-eating wasps, and other ferocious and unidentifiable carnivores when I moved to Jurassic Park, Mississippi, but little did I suspect that I was importing the most vicious of them all. If only I had realized that my experiments of three years ago with that tuft of dog hair imbedded in a piece of ancient amber would lead to the creation of a Loganus Andracifor! True, the survival skills of the Loganus are amazing. They enter the world as adorable, sweet little balls of fluff. They allow themselves to be kissed and coddled by wee infants while they secretly grow their razor-sharp, ankle-shredding multiple rows of fangs. The keepers of the Jurassic Park breeding grounds wisely discovered that they needed to divest themselves of the Loganus by no-later-than 6.9 weeks, whereupon the transition from adorable to life threatening will take place. My only consolation is that I already owned a Dustificus Catacious, and they are quite capable of keeping a Loganus at bay whilst I scramble to safety.

September 16, 2007