i have mentioned before that i think there is power in words: The fortunes of nations, nations themselves have been midwifed by powerful speeches. And words can hurt, despite what they tell us in the elementary school chant.

In groups, responding to posts, i've made it clear that i think integrity means there being a congruancy between what one says and what one does, how one lives but i'm not sure i've addressed that in my blog. So i'm stating for the record take care that your behavior reflects the ideals you espouse, else people will see so much of what you do, they won't hear a word you say.

Actions have great power as well: To instruct, to provide a model, to confuse, hurt or heal. One should be mindful of both words and actions and of how consistent they are with each other.

Keep in mind words are actions. Saying 'I love you' several times a day loses impact if one's behavior doesn't demonstrate that love. If twice as many times a day you're fussing at, criticizing, scolding, verbally abusing the person--those unkind words are an act that give lie to the overused/abused 'three little words'. This is true whether talking to one's partner, parents, siblings or children.

i also think that we should be mindful when online. There is, afterall, a person at each keyboard, a human being with feelings. For myself there usually has to be a certain level of caring or at least respect for words to hurt me directly. But sometimes the fact that it's clear the person's intent was to demean or upset me tells me something about them that will preclude them ever getting that respect from me. If i see them being that way with others even, i make a mental note, consider myself forewarned of their nature or at least the persona they've assumed.

And i want to say i've never understood why anyone would want to create a false persona unless they're doing so on stage or screen. i often wonder whether the snide, sarcastic, "I'm smarter than all of you" people who are so frequently gratuitously mean to obviously vulnerable souls are putting that up as defense because they are easily wounded themselves, or do they like the sense of power? Either way, seems to me, one can't like oneself very much if one has to create a false persona online.

We're all multifaceted being with varied interests, passions. Take a look at your friends profiles, at their groups lists--you might find a side of them you didn't expect. That's exploring, discovering one's facets. Now look at how they talk to others in those groups. Is there a consistency of tone? Of respectful disagreement? Of supportiveness? The consistent words/behaviors are one's persona and i think for most healthy people it's virtually indistinguishable from how they talk and act in the real world.