With my son’s wedding coming up this Saturday, I picked up my tuxedo today. I spent 10 minutes with a lovely lass who saw to it that my shirt was the right size and my pants didn’t hang too low with the suspenders holding them up. She then worked a couple of snaps to get the waist tightened, adjusted the vest and assured the suit coat hung correctly. When I glanced in the mirror, I was impressed. “You look pretty spiffy for an old man.” I said to myself. I paid the $100 or so and promised to return the suit on Sunday afternoon.

My mind drifted back to prior occasions for which I had rented a tuxedo. The first was my High School Senior Prom, as I was decked out with the traditional black version, red cummerbund and all. I had my corsage for my girlfriend, who was also my desk mate in 12th grade. We spun around the dance floor, went to a night club afterward and shared a few intimate moments. But alas, I was soon off to college and also moving out of state, while she would stay in our home town for all her life and raise a family with someone else. I was saddened to find she did not go to the 50th High School Reunion two years ago.

Similarly, in college I went to the Junior Prom with a girl I had pinned and twirled her around to the music of Stan Kenton, who was hired to play the ballroom. A second renting of a tuxedo was necessary. The tux was retuned the next day and she returned the fraternity pin a few months later. Hey, I had a lot of time to do comparison shopping.

Then it was my own marriage and I have the photo album to prove it. My tux came free as the rental store got the business of the other male wedding guest who were part of the party. And twelve years ago, I rented a tux for my son’s wedding. I splurged and also rented a Lincoln Town Car to drive around in. I did transport the bride and groom from church to reception and then to the secret wedding night room.

Even though I have been on many ocean cruises, I have always “faked” the formal nights with a black business suit and a bow tie. Most of the cruises have now discarded the formal nights anyway and are into casual dining. I always considered it a waste of money to spill gravy on a rented suit while eating with people I didn’t know.

But there is something about a formal attire tuxedo that makes a man feel dressed up. At least my wife tells me that men are the most handsome when they wear a tuxedo. So next time she puts me in the dog house for something I did, I will rent myself a tuxedo and come home to seek forgiveness.

Why can’t they put belt loops on these pant? I now know what women feel like wearing a bra with these suspenders pressing on my shoulders.