It has be a while since I have written a blog post anywhere and I have never written one here. My feelings on this may be shared by some of us since I think it has to do with age but I'm sure my thought are not exclusive to our age group. Sometimes, this aging thing really gets me down. I have another birthday coming up next week, not a mile stone date but still another year. Of course, at least I am getting older and am not dead but it seems life is getting harder. I never planned things well so I must contine to work and competing with the youth is hard. They are so much faster and, it seems to me, so much better at everything.To make matters worse, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up so it is like running around blind with no direction. Life is mostly good but I find it getting boaring. It seems, those who want to spend time, no longer want to do the things that I enjoy. I know, "Get out and do something" but there are these expectations that I sit and watch TV. I would rather "Make out" or play music or something fun and stimulating. I'm not in the mood to wreak another marraige but I am afraid it may be time to find adventure again. I just don't want the pain so I remain with the unhappyness of a relationship that doesn't grow.
It is funny looking back at my view of people in their 50's now that I am there. I now know they are sexual beings and may even be more so than the young. How many of us are yet to find the pleasures we have dreamed of all our lives? How many of us are still yearning and crying for fullfillment? I know I am not alone.
I will still dream and hope that a time will come when I find a way to enjoy the passions I still long to find. Until then, I will keep on living, singing, writing music and dream of the day where I am free to explore my life, sensuality and all the pleasures life can bring.
