A Real Dilemma

Here are some resources:

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I am sure if they get on the internet or contact somebody out there. Even a congressional rep or something there has to be some opportunities. But sitting at home is not going to get them anywhere. Good luck.

And there are companion dogs, trained to alert their masters about noises such as doorbells and phone rings...and wouldn't a dog be a lovely companion?

Prayer can help, but maybe the links above, from Landshark, can help too. I think having you for a neighbor is probably a very good thing,too!

Cali

It is a very bad time to be job hunting for anyone. I would check into any Resources their State may have for him. In Missouri they have Vocational Rehabilitation Service that would help. A companion dog is a good idea and it might also help with the depression.

As Cali said, there are Hearing Dog Companions. There are sheltered workshops that hire both the deaf and blind for assembly line work- which sometimes suits their handicap perfectly. Perhaps he is a candidate for a cochlear implant. That would set him further apart from the hearing community- but it would help him bridge between the hearing and non hearing. He could also be a candidate to become a class room aide to teach sign, also to work in the courtroom as an interpreter.

Anyway- it's good that you are such a caring neighbor. And we all know sleeping in is not the answer.

Good for you Mary- and best of luck to them.

Sherri

A very puzzling dilemma. Seems like even some type of service work at the moment would be healthier than to have him lying around and risking serious depression. There's just something that doesn't sound right in this story and I can't quite put my finger on it.......maybe it's just that I am not very acquainted with the deaf community. But why did he not learn to read until the 5th grade? Why did his school not prepare him to deal with the "real" world more effectively? I don't know........Anyway! I totally agree that they are very lucky and blessed to have a caring and compassionate neighbor such as yourself.

Something I haven`t had to deal with, wish you sucess in finding out some help. You are definitly a fine neighbor.

I went to hear a deaf speaker once. I can't remember her name right now. It was a few years ago. She had a very hard time getting an education. I remember that in grade school she had begun to read lips. The teacher had her sit up front and often she asked questions concerning the material they were studying. The pupils in back of her gave the answers and she never heard answers. The teacher didn't repeat them and she was lost. She was timid and was so lost that she couldn't ask questions. I recall that she was put into special ed and treated as though she was retarded because they thought she couldn't learn, but they didn't know the way to treat the deaf. I would think that educators would know better now, but I can believe that the profoundly deaf do not get the education we expect that they will. It will take a lot of hard work on the young man's part to fight for the education that will enable him to function in today's world. There are aids, like the dogs, light to alert the person to sound, and of course they will learn a lot from others in their deaf community. It may set them apart from the hearing people but it will encourage them and give them purpose to draw strength and friendship and skills from each other. Sign language is a must, I would think, but most of us don't know how to talk to them that way. You are a good friend.

Nancy

Came upon this just now. I think it depends on the school, and the ability of the parents to fight and never give up.
Grew up in the same town as Clark School for the Deaf, and I think that they do (or did) a good job, primary and secondary education. Most students are profoundly deaf, and it's one on one, for the first few years. It's also private and extremely expensive.
I also have a friend whose son is moderately deaf (prematurity), and now 28. He basically misses most vocal ranges. My friend sent him to private schools, and insisted he be mainstreamed. She also refused to "believe" he was deaf, and although diagnosed at 14 months, he was not put into hearing aids until he was 5 or 6. He's graduated from a college (with specialized assistance for the disabled) with honors, and is now working on his second Master's degree. Seems to be on track to be a professional student.
He's smart (although he tests low, IQ and standardize testing are not valid for the deaf), and intelligent. But he was never given the skills he needs to function competently in the Mainstream world, and a great deal of it is really very simple. He doesn't look at a person when they are talking, he can't read body language, since he is a "natural" lip reader, she never had him formally instructed in lip reading. He doesn't know sign, and will not learn it.
Hearing is also a learned skill, by the time we hit kindergarten most of us have learned how to block out background noise, the car honking, the rustle of papers, creaking chairs. Since he wasn't put into aids until he was 5, he can't. Going into a noisy room, completely freaks him out, it's all white noise to him. Classrooms were a nightmare, he came out shaking and white lipped.
Teachers resisted using specialized instruction methods, such as speaking attachments that would transmit directly to his aids. They either were not aware (of the need) or did not bother to re-enforce and strengthen those other sensory skills that would have given him an edge in coping.
For the most part he was educated at extremely expensive "prep" schools,which, (in my private opinion) were very happy to show their diversity, a quiet, well behaved, student, few visible signs of disability, parents able to pay the $40K tuition, and reluctant to actually deal with that diversity. A one year transfer to public school, resulted in "special ed", because he tested low, and all of the same problems that afflicted the speaker in Nancy's comment. So I expect that things are not that very much different today.
The Telephone Pioneers have long been active in helping the deaf. Alexander Bell was a teacher of the deaf at Clark School, and his wife was deaf, so the tradition has continued. Try contacting them for available community resources. Many states have specialized training for the disabled between the ages of 18 and 22, helping them to make the transition to the working world, that should also be investigated. If he has not had formal training in "lip reading", get it if you can. Sign language can be learned at older ages.
We all learn best in different ways, seeing, hearing, talking, doing, but that doesn't mean that we can't learn in a mode that might not be the "best". For years I have been told that "poor Mark" is an aural learner, making his deafness even more tragic. My *ss, strengthen his skills in lipreading, visual clues, and pointing out tools available to all. Last time he visited, he finally took the subway on his own - I told him to turn off his aides so that he wasn't overwhelmed by white noise, read the maps on the walls of the MBTA, count his stops, and get a d*mn map of Boston. He did just fine. Never occurred to him that if he turned off the white noise, he wouldn't be so freaked and confused by all the bustle, or that if he looked at a subway map, he didn't need to "hear" the stop, he could count it.
So for the tirade, she has been my friend for more than 47 years, and I am so furious with the way she has handled this, and taken his tragedy as her own, that I can barely spit, and your blog brought up all those suppressed feelings. 26 years ago, I told her that with all the problems a 12 week early baby could have, she had ended up with a "normal" healthy child who might have a hearing impairment. He was strong, intelligent, mischievous, good natured and funny, accept it, get him into hearing aids, and never let him feel inadequate, or sorry for himself. It's a tribute to that child that he has done as much as he has. Multiple revives, multiple episodes of bleeding in the brain, hyliane membrane disease, hospitalized for 14 weeks before he could come home, and he came out of it almost whole, a tough little bugger. Not one of Life's tragedies, one of Life's celebrations.

I learned sign language from a teacher from the former Scranton School for the Deaf. @ MtnGirl - He also explained the difficulties the deaf have in learning, such as reading. Because a deaf child cannot hear a word, they do not learn as quickly what an item in, such as an apple. Therefore, it is even harder to learn to read a word because they cannot use phonics. He did explain the great pride the deaf community has, which results in their cliquishness. Many times, they feel picked on as people treat them as "slow". The Bloomsburg University in PA has quite a curriculum for the deaf. Both for hearing people to learn to be teachers for the deaf and for deaf students. Perhaps, he could look into furthering his education in that field. There's quite a need for teachers in that area.