alright, so I am not conventional. I actually love this...my dad was so unconventional.
He was always a little outside the box.
..and he taught me.
or so I listened to his stories and watched him with people.
He taught me so much and I don’t think he ever really knew that...that makes me a little sad, I have to admit. He knew I loved him, but I don’t think I realized how much he impacted me ...neither did I until after he was gone.
In a Sociology class, an assignment was something like ‘who was the first to teach you about socialization?’ I cited my dad. He had passed away just a few weeks prior to this.
I took a week off school to tend to the funeral arrangements and then it was back to school...my first semester on a scholarship.

The memory I had was of the gypsies in East LA. Kids at school found out I was living by gypsies and they made comments like, ‘gypsies are dirty, they never take showers.’ and ‘gypsies steal your stuff when you aren’t looking.’ I talked with my dad about this, I was just a kid of 6 and he talked with me about these comments.
He said words like:

‘ignorant.’
‘wrong.’
‘you know these people!’
‘say something...!’

and so I did.
I was friends with the gypsy girl who was just a year or two older than me...I knew her grandparents, parents, uncles and aunts...well, as much as we could know them.
They were wonderful and fun and though not open to everyone, open to us.
the parties were fun, but the quiet talks and games between me and the girl in the parking lot that was in the center of the 6 unit apartment complex right off the freeway, were what made me believe my dad.
She was sweet, quiet, and smart. She never stole anything from me even though she was in our apartment many many times.
So, I went back to school and said, ‘Gypsies don’t steal. They are nice people.’

Simple as that.
and the hassling stopped...no more talk my way about ‘those’ gypsies.

But it wasn’t until Dad passed away that I saw the influence he had in my life in regards to people in general.
It was all just natural at the time.
But I guess it isn’t for all people.
I didn’t realize his influence until I had to write about it as an assignment.

I like being just a bit outside the box.

My daughter is hispanic...I am not.
My son in law is Muslim...I am not.
My patients are poor...I am not.
A dear friend is transgendered ( I am not) but she is one of the bravest people I know.
friends are gay...I am not.
A friend believes that monogamy is impossible...I do not.
A colleague works in the same field as I do and makes the big bucks...I do not.

guess this all came into my head as today I saw my transgendered friend, a few of my gay friends, my friend who doesn't believe in monogamy, and a bunch of other folks throughout the day who are not in the box.

Tomorrow I see the one who understands this...and my dad would be happy for this as well.

I have to send a thank you up to my dad.
He set the groundwork...he set the tone...
and I guess I have to be grateful that I listened to him when he spoke.
Somehow I have to think he is really proud of his work.
Just wish I could have figured all this out before he left so I could say thanks.
I am a product of what he taught in his gentle way.
He taught me with who he chose as friends, action.
His words were important...more important now that he's gone, but it's the manner in which he lived his life that taught me.

...so, thanks....off to the stars,
...off to the moon that i hung just for him.
(he loved this by Frank Sinatra but I know he would've loved Diana's version...cause well, it is a little outside the box.)