Today is my father's 87th birthday, and I made sure to call him early. Conversations with Dad are usually not very long and he rarely asks how I am doing unless it is to ask about my weight. Today's call was about 10 minutes, mostly about the stock market, the weather, and my mother. Of course, there is very little to say about Mom, she is the same, still progressing on this journey they call Alzheimer's. It's been a long journey, especially for him. According to him, he believes she started to show signs as long ago as 1992.

Visiting her is difficult for him, something I understand very well. I haven't been down in almost two years and that visit was a disaster. She was still in her first assisted living arrangement. There were lots of different medications she was on at the time, including Haldol, which caused her to have some interesting hallucinations. After my visit, Dad agreed to admit her for a psychiatric evaluation and part of it involved taking here off all medications. Shortly after that, she was moved into a group home setting where she would have more intense assistance. Last fall, she made her final move into a nursing home. The deterioration has stepped up quite a bit. Today was the first time in a long time that I heard Alzheimer's instead of just dementia. There is something a little scarier when you say that.

But this post isn't supposed to be about Mom. God only knows how many times I have blogged on Eons about Mom with Dad always in the background. Truth is, much of that has always been his choice.

I can't remember ever connecting much with him. When he was home, he was on his ham radio and rarely got involved with us much as kids. That was his basic personality. He still doesn't get out much and today I told him I was a little concerned that he was becoming somewhat of a hermit. He even acknowledged that that could be true. Fortunately, he does have my oldest brother living next door to look out for him. My oldest brother...Mary's son as he calls him. Some day I hope he acknowledges him as his son too, even though he is not his biological son, he has been a part of his life since my brother was still a baby.

I have always closed each call to him with a reminder, "I love you Dad". Today I got a gift from him, on his birthday. He actually said, "I love you too".