OMG, I Digress!

By Vicki Ellis Griffis

The Celeste Tribune

“OMG, why can’t the pars just chillax?” Carly rolled her eyes as we were watching the ICarly Cable TV show my grandkids love. I frowned, confused.

“Don’t you like this show, MiMi?“ Kylie asked.

“I would if I could understand a word they said,“ I replied.

My thirteen year old grandson Austin informed me, “She said, ‘Oh my God, why can’t my parents just chill and relax.”

“Why can’t she just speak English?” I questioned.

“Oh, MiMi, you are so yesterday!“ they all giggled. I laughed as I was reminded of a recent conversation I had with a friend on-line about the slang we used back in the sixties.

“Yesterday, I’ll show you yesterday! I remember well when we had our own “lingo,” I took up for myself.

“Yea, like what?“ they all asked in unison.

“Well, I remember “cutting a rug” at the “sock hop” and “having a "blast" doing it. We could really “get down” doing the “twist” and the “limbo“. “Man,” we really “got our groove on!” Then we would slip into our skates and “rock and roll” around the rink till someone yelled, ‘Everybody skate backwards‘ and we would, until “Hokey Pokey time.” “Gee whiz,“ we really had a “gas.“

I hear giggles but I continue.

Back in “the good old days,” I would get “all decked out" with my best white "go-go" boots and "A-line mini-skirt". Sammy (your PopPop) said I looked “real foxy." I told him he looked like a "hunk" himself in his "flat-top" and "cool duds."

We would get into Sammy's "cool ride” where I called "dibs" on the "hump". I had to sit "astride the gear shift" but it was worth it to sit by Sammy. I would grab the “gear knob” and shift the “four-on-the floor” on that 63’ Chevy as he “popped the clutch.” My best friend called "shotgun" so everyone else “crammed” into the back seat.

We always laughed when he would "gas it" and "burn rubber". He really "laid a patch" behind. He was "smoking hot" as he "peeled off" and let those "glass-packs rip". We all met at the “Triangle“ where we would “hang out” and “tell lies” till the “fuzz” would tell us to “break it up,” so we would “mosey on down the road” to the “rock pile.” On the way, we would "play chicken" up and down “the strip” with his best friend‘s car full of “cool cats.” Of course, Sammy would always win because he “had guts” “made of steel". When it got dark, we would "cruise" Wesley and "drag" Lee where we would “blow the doors off” everyone else. If we "came to a halt," we would do a "Chinese Fire Drill" or see how many people we could “stuff into a phone booth.”

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch," my "old man" was "going ape." He was “fit to be tied” when I walked in an hour past “curfew .” When my dad said, "You are cruisin' for a bruising‘," I wanted to say, "Don't have a cow," but I knew to keep my "trap shut."

Well, almost . . . I would have “had it made in the shade," but I couldn't help but “spout off.” "I didn't mean to "rattle your cage." " I was just hanging out," I told him.

But he was so “uncool,” so I got the "royal shaft" and was stuck in "nowheresville" for a week, "grounded to the pad" without my “Princess Fone or Transistor Radio.“

I stopped to take a breath and saw my three grandchildren staring at me like I had "lost my ever-loving mind.“

“Sorry, guess I got a little carried away. Anyhow, I digress. But when you think about it, it doesn't matter what generation you “speak,” parent's are such "party poopers."

“UMM, you said, poop!” Kylie squealed as she and Katelyn fell on the bed laughing.

Austin laughed, too. “I think you are awesome, MiMaw!“

“Awesome,” I smiled. Now that is a word I could understand in any "speak!"