Youth Challenged

by Samuel T. Griffis

The Celeste Tribune

I don’t know about this getting older thing. I’ve tried to ignore it, but it keeps coming at me. No matter where I go or what I do there are reminders. Consider the following:

You are really reminded of your age when the bulk of your mail is AARP solicitations or from companies with the always uplifting sales pitch that asks, “Are you prepared for your FINAL expenses? Send for a free brochure!” Hey, make my day! Send me a bunch of them, I can’t wait to read all about it.

You know you’re not a spring chicken anymore when you go into a clothing store to find something suitable to wear. You wade thru aisles of clothing to find something you think might be appropriate for your age. Finally, you find it. It’s one rack stuck over in a corner with about 5 shirts and a couple of pair of pants on it. The store clerk doesn’t even offer to help you. She knows you’re probably not going to buy anything. You’re wearing a five-year old shirt and your shoes went out of style about ten years ago.

It’s even worse when you visit an antiques store and its stocked with furniture, kitchen gadgets, tools and toys you grew up with. I shopped in one recently that had an army uniform like I wore hanging in it. In an antique store! It couldn‘t have been that long ago when I was in the service. Let‘s see. I went in and uh, that would mean I have been out…………Oh My Gosh! Can that be right? Its been that long? “Uh, Ma’am. Is that chair to look at or can it be sat in? I’m feeling a little tired.” I sit down and Vicki walks by looking for me. She doesn’t see me. I have blended right in with the other antiques.

A couple of years ago, Vicki and I participated in a walk to benefit the Arthritis Foundation. Some run, some walk. We walked. We did it to support our niece who has arthritis. As we walked the three-mile course through the streets of Ft. Worth, I was quite flattered to have the young women stationed here and there to keep us on course come out and pat me on the back and tell me, “good job” or “hang in there.” It was flattering until I looked around and became aware I was one of the oldest people participating. It was then I realized the young women were so encouraging to me because they didn’t want me falling out in front of them where they might have to do CPR on me.

You’re probably on the downhill slide when you and a buddy are driving along and spot a pretty young woman on a riding lawn mower cutting grass. You elbow your friend and say, “Man look at that. Now, that is nice!” Your buddy smiles and gives an understanding nod. Sadly, he knows you are talking about the mower.

Or you are watching TV and the announcer says all the details about the latest Hollywood sex scandal will be coming on next. You yawn and flip the channel to watch a show about lowering your cholesterol.

There are lots of ways that affirm you are getting along in years, but this is the best one I’ve heard. I was talking to a friend about the aches and pains you experience with age. I told him that for no apparent reason I wake up hurting in a different spot almost every morning. He said, “I know what you mean. I guess you really are getting old when you wake up in the morning and realize you have injured yourself just by sleeping.”

Another sure sign you are getting along in years is when you start telling the same stories over and over. As you begin relating another fantastic saga of your life, if you watch closely you can see the eyes of the recipient of your tale roll back into their head as they realize they are about to endure the same long-winded tale of when you were young.

Another sure sign you are getting along in years is when you start telling the same stories over and over. As you begin relating another fantastic saga of your life, if you watch closely . . . . . . . . . .