I am emotionally drained from the last two days - For those that don't know, Ian's best friend. Eddie (Edward James Smith III) was killed - a pick up ran over his head and chest - the other guy that was with him when it happened ran to get Ian (who as sleeping on Eddie's couch because they had to work the next day). Ian woke up to his best friend's body - head totally crushed - eyes popped out of the sockets - his bottom jaw was by his ear and his entire head had exploded. His chest was the same - it had exploded into his shirt and when he picked Ed up - he was mush - Ian frantically tried to give him CPR but his chest had no rib cage, no sternum - nothing but crushed bones and exploded organs... The accident happened Sunday night / Monday morning actually - Ian was in shock until he got home - took a shower - fell asleep and then woke up - at that point, it hit him and he fell apart. Monday, he sat with Eddie's wife and two little kids all day. Ian and Ed were perfect together - he was one of the very few people Ian has let into his heart and opened up to about things - a very rare occurance with Ian since John and I split up. It was like Ed was his older brother - and Ed has a wife that loved him and kids - exactly what Ian was looking for. He has never been the typical - grab any girl - then move on - he has always wanted one girl - he wanted a relationship. He is a very serious guy with the future always in mind and works towards his goals... This has been a HORRIBLE blow to him - not only that Ed died - but the way his life ended - what Ian saw - trying to revive Ed - working far past when others standing around knew it was not going to do any good... Ian wouldn't give up. My heart is broken for my boy - I was so far away and he just fell apart - he couldn't even talk for awhile when he called me - he just sobbed from the depths of his soul - this horrible heart-wrenching sound... Well, he still went to work the next day - didn't return my phone call which was good since I told him that unless I heard from him, I would be down to pick him up when he got off work. I was there, kept quiet - no questions, no words about it and just took him where he wanted to go - we went to Eddie's to see the widow and the kids and Ian wanted to return Ed's big masonry level. There was a cross in the yard right where Ed's body was. It had been painted white already - flowers and words written on it from his son to his dad and all his friends - his widow had not been able to go over there yet.... Ian - Mr. Emotional Control - watching him kneel in front of that cross on one knee - with his head down - shoulders shaking trying not to cry out loud in front of Ed's wife.... then looking up and taking the red marker - writing a message on it to Ed from his heart. I would have given my own life not to have had this happen to Ian and Ed and everyone else who loved him. He was a wonderful father - LOVED having his children around - took them everywhere - teaching his son as he went through life - he touched many lives with his humor and good nature. He was there for my boy with his broken heart - and he was healing something inside Ian as the years passed... They worked together, hunted before going to work and after and whenever possible, they also fished together - had their secret places that were great fishing holes - taking his son along many times. Ed's birthday was Saturday - he was 29 and still celebrating with all his friends through the weekend. Ian blames himself that he went to bed (he ALWAYS does when he as to work the next day) and he wasn't there to see the pick up coming. There were only Ed and another guy up that night that late - the only friend they hang with is deaf and he didn't hear the pick up coming. There are lights along the highway so he didn't notice the headlights. They were both trashed and somehow Ed was laying on the centerline of the highway. They had been playing catch with the empty keg and what happened next is unclear since the investigation is still ongoing. The deaf guy said, he turned around to go take a pee and when he turned around - it was all over - he saw the truck hit Ed - it never stopped or even used it brake lights. Initially, I was told by John's dad that they were friends coming to visit Ed, but from Ian talking last night late, he said that it is the guy and his wife that own the Garage Door company that you see the ads on TV. That was the only way anyone knew who they were. I am unclear how the police found them but I assume it was from the discription that the deaf guy gave when 911 was called. Because of the lights - he saw the hit and run, the color, type, model, etc. of the truck... That issue I'm not clear on. Cody, Ed's son already said he will NEVER take a drink in his life - since that is why his daddy died... Ian said he doesn't know when he will ever be able to do things again. He is still in total shock. As I left him last night (he had to work today too - which was good since he just couldn't sit still and could barely handle being at Ed's while we were there. I let him run the entire evening in order to be the best help to him - actually, all I wanted to do was see him and be next to him - to see with my own eyes - my son... It is like his world no longer has color - his spirit is so broken. He talked about Ed's son alot - about how he hope she decides to stay around here since no one knows Cody like Ed and Ian and who will teach him things - he said "you can't just take the boy away from everyone and everything he know" It takes a long time to build up that trust and you can't take that away from him at a time like this - Cody needs all his Dad's friends - familiar faces and people who love him and loved his dad... Ian actually got angry / terrified I couldn't tell which - that he was going to lose that connection (Cody) with his past with Eddie...

I've got go close for now - just writing about yesterday has me broken up right now... I'll try to finish later.......

Love,
Linda

I spent the evening yesterday with Ian