There are just days that, even though my last husband was my soul mate and the greatest guy I could ever hope to have in my life, I really miss Doodle.
He was my first boyfriend, my first love and my first lover. I was 14 and he was 17 and I met him when I was playing football with my neighbor who was like a brother to me and one of Doodle's best friends. After the football game Doodle was standing by his car just watching all of us and Johnny and I walked up because he wanted to talk to him. Doodle and I got talking and joking around and he took my birthstone ring off my finger and put it on his little finger and said that we were together now because he had my ring. His mom worked for my dad at the Kinney Shoe factory and she was very upset because she knew that as an only child I was the apple of Daddy's eye and she wasn't sure how he was going to take all this.
Anyway, we had a very very close, loving relationship - with the usual ups and downs especially at that age. We split up because a guy I had liked before meeting Doodle came back from Arizona and I told Doodle I wanted to see him and didn't want to sneak behind his back to do it. It wasn't but about 2 weeks later Doodle and I were back together, but it just didn't work.
Long long story short he and I saw each other through all 3 of his marriages and talked to each other at least once a week through 2 of my marriages and 2 live in relationships I had. He and I never were far apart.
ZOn November 21, 2001 he was killed in a hunting accident. There was no investigation, no autopsy, no nothing. He was rushed to the crematorium without a viewing or anything. I know he didn't want to be cremated because we talked about it when my son died and he was cremated. Doodle just couldn't bear the thought of it.
A minor family member was involved in the accident and all this was done supposedly for his protectiona nd to spare him any more grief. I can understand that ina way, but I wonder what an investigation would've shown truly happened and if this kid will live with that all his life and it could've turned out that he didn't even do it. I guess we will never know.
Everyone in Doodle's family and everyone in my family always thought that he and I would end up together. He and I would always joke about the fact that when he was single I was involved and when I was single he was involved. He did come to my mom's house to see me in 1997 before I met my last husband. He held me like well, like he never would let go and that would've been fine with me. I doubt his wife at the time would have cared too much. They were divorced a couple of years later but I was already married (my last husband also happened to be Doodle's cousin) and very happy.
I stop by Doodle's grave when I go to my husband's grave and I truly mourn them both.
Doodle and I always held out hope of being together but we never interferred with each other's relationships even though we talked and remained friends. It was just a closeness, a bond that is beyond description. He had a girlfriend when he died, but he and I talked not too awfully long before he died and things hadn't changed between us and we knew in our heart of hearts they never would.
It would be 40 years ago this September that he took that ring off my finger.
