OK, I suppose it's time that I admit to having three cats and a rabbit in my household. A harmonious co-existence, for the most part. As long as their food and water bowls are topped up, there's peace in the valley. However, I began to detect cracks in sibling allegiances, of late. One kitty, who shall remain nameless but herein be referred to as 'the grey one', recently approached me with questions regarding an upcoming change to our daily routine.

tgo- "So... I've heard through the grapevine that we'll be having a guest staying with us for a week or so. Is this true?"

me- "You've been listening in on my phone calls now?"

tgo- "There are no secrets in a mobile home. By the way, you should probably change your e-mail password. Back on point, you haven't answered my question."

me- "Yes, we will be having a house guest, but this shouldn't adversely affect you."

tgo- "I suppose you're prepared for all potential scenarios, but I'd like to touch on a few points that we, as the resident majority, consider crucial to the survival of our species. First and foremost, will this visit affect our food? I mean, does she eat kibble? Secondly, has provision been made to assure there is enough food? Third, will there be any effect on our food supply? Finally, has she been trained to feed us, should the need arise? Oh, and did I ask if she eats kibble?"

me- "She's a vegetarian, so I think your food is safe. I'm sure she doesn't eat kibble, but if perchance she does, I'll make sure there's enough for all of you."

tgo- "OK, and if she doesn't eat kibble, we get her share, right?"

me- "Well, if she doesn't eat kibble, I won't buy extra."

tgo- "For sake of argument, let's just say that we run out of cat food. Don't you think we should have some sort of contingency plan? I'm the kind who likes to think outside the litterbox, and I came up with an idea, you know, just in case. I tossed it around with the others, and they think I may be onto something. Just hear meowt..."

me- "OK, enlighten me..."

tgo- "Well, you know the rabbit in the bedroom?"

me- "You mean Bunny?"

tgo- "Whatever. We, as cats, are bunnivorous. Go ahead, look it up. It's all a part of that predator/prey thingie. And who are we to break the laws of nature by crossing up the food chain? That wouldn't reflect well on us as cats, now would it?"

me- "You're sick. You would use Bunny as an emergency solution to running out of kibble?"

tgo- "Well, no, not for me. Rabbit? I never touch the stuff. Besides, you know that I am not about self. I was looking out for Peavey and Annie. However, if it came down to it, might I suggest a pairing with, say, a north coast Lapin o' Noir. Something for the discerning palate..."

me- "Discerning palate? You lick your butt, for crying out loud. OK, you said you've discussed this with the others, and they approved. And Bunny is fully on board with this?"

tgo- "On board? Well, not in so many words."

me- "Then, in how many words?"

tgo- "Well, you know how sensitive she can be about such matters, so we really didn't elaborate on her role in this plan. I figured we'd be democratic and put it to a vote so she could be assured of fair play, and she went with that."

Like I said, harmonious, as long as the food and water bowls are topped up.

© 2009 meh