I was born with a mental disability that limits my visual memory, which makes me limited in what I can visualize and is most likely responsible for my inferior finer motor skill. This disability came clear to me in the second grade when I was the only one that could not satify my teacher with my drawings of pictures of my family members. I also did not do well when it came to an assignment related to drawing up a map on how to get to my house. My spelling was not good, but through effort I improved it. Also my writing was not easy to read at times.

I did not do well in school, was held back in the second grade, until I reached high school where I really concentrated and did pretty well. I went to the University of New Hamshire, but did not last long in this environment.

I had not been able to find a job up to this time in my life, which is not something I really ever had any sense of what would work for me. Of course if you have no job experience it is a negative when getting a job. I did finally get a job in a door factory, which was really torture for me between my finer motor skills and struggling to keep tack of things. I lasted a year, then bought some land with a friend in a misguided back to the land attempt(1972).

I then went into the Navy Reserves after 1 semester at U.N.H. I found the Navy very difficult because my typing skills were not that good. It was less trying physically than the door factory, but rough on my nervous system. I was counting the days until my two years active duty would end.

I had not had any deep romantic relationships at that time because I was so focused on surviving and felt very insecure about my future. I was too serious in my nature to want a frivolous relationship and wanted someone who would be able to understand me which was pretty much an impossiblity at that time. I did later have a relationship with a woman for about a year, but that was later in about 1982. I am not good with dates.

I went to Virginia Western Community College(1975-78) and lasted a year in a half on the GI bill. I had a 3.5 grade point average, but dropped the courses I could not handle and found no path I could follow that made me feel I could have a future in. I did drive a car at that time, but I was always getting into dangerous situations due to my lack of ability to keep track of everything required inorder to drive safely. My survival skills helps me avoid any serious accidents.

I then ate up my college fund that my parents and grand parents had provided me surviving with the idea that my study and work in astrology would be my education. I had spent sometime staying clear of astrology, since I knew inside that ones I got involved in it, I would not be able to get away from it very easily. I read a lot of astrology charts, but got dissatisfied with traditional astrology and started toying with improving it. I always thought that I would make some kind of breakthrough soon and be able to change the conditions in my life and finally have some type of career to allow me to survive on other than my savings.

I did get some money when the land I owned half of was sold, which helped me survive even longer. I was always extremely frugal with money out of fear that I might end up homeless on the streets at the mercy of charitable instituations incapable of understanding me and living in conditions that I would not be capable of handling because of my mental limitations.

I always felt quite capable in the spiritual and was not very much impressed with the spiritual senstivity of those who thought they knew so much in traditional religions. Traditional religions focused on a different time period than the present, and had a lot of writing that not only was not that clear in message, but was very taxing to my limited visual capability. The leaders that would explain the meaning of these ancient writings did not impress me.

My life had been extremely rough and I needed something better in order to give me meaning and purpose in my life. I needed beliefs that really focused on the world I was struggling to find a place in, the material world that everyone is in at this moment. I have a lot of my beliefs on my myspace page.

I also seemed to have been meditating before I knew that I was. I got heavier into meditaion over time and even was in a meditation group for a while. Again I got dissatisfied and started playing with making my meditations more intense. I then one day got up while in a meditative state and tried walking. That was the start of my meditative walking techniques. My mind-body running technique came just a few years ago.

I have been doing some form of aerobic exercise pretty consistently, since about 1979. I was in a running club in Grapevine, Texas(living with sister)from 2002 until 2007 and did some ultra running training(ran 52 miles on a weekend)and ran two marathons at age 54 qualifying for Boston in my first. I learned from doing this, but found that rather short, but extremely rough type training works best for spiritual training, since one needs energy to focus on the spiritual, and one does not need to become an athelete in order to be strong spiritually, although you must train extremely hard.

I survived after my money ran out from money from my mother and periods of living with her in California. I am now living at my sister's house. She is in a rehabilitation nursing facility recovering from a fall. My mother died recently at age 93, I was involved in some of her care near the end. I did inherit a little money, but I have no retirement so I must find a way to get people to value my skills and need to get in the public eye someway. I am well prepared to handle this.

My life seemed to always be one crisis after another with me always having to push the edge, going too far at times, but knowing how to get out of trouble because of years of experience. My knowledge about nutrition has help me quite a bit. At one point I decided that I should develop a training program to make me be comfortable with being in a state of crisis. I figured if I trained myself by presenting myself with a similar crisis type state to a real one, I would be able to have less problems with crises in the future.

I feel like I have been sort of an outcast all my life in a world that treats people who are different especially one with unique talent in the spiritual area in a not very positive way. I have trained myself to push myself harder than any one I would meet that would criticize me for not having really tried hard enough at making a living in this world. I have trained myself to be able to handle the most intense emotions that can possibly exist in this world.

I really believe in my training techniques and hope to get my astrology system which I use as a spiritual tuning devise along with my training techniques and spiritual ideas out to the public some day soon. I feel the world definitely needs any spiritual help that anyone who is really serious and dedicated can provide.

astrogoodwin - Thomas Goodwin