”My recipe for life is not being afraid of myself, not being afraid of what I think or of my opinions.” -- Eartha Kitt view link

Greetings, darlings! Ready, set, go GO into the New Year. It may be another one jammed with problemos, economic pitfalls and general insanity – but one thing you can bank on, there will still be lots of stuff to gossip about. So let’s get this party started!

I wish I could say I thought this one up, but I defer to David Letterman – or at least his writers. He was talking the other night about Brad Pitt's new movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and Letterman summed it up this way: "Brad starts as an old man then works his way through the years until he is a tiny baby...then Angelina Jolie adopts him..."

BWHAHAHAHAHA.... Well, not exactly the movie’s plot but it would be hilarious. Oh, and how about THIS for sequel. “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button II: Back Again”. In this version, Angelina Jolie breastfeeds her newly adopted baby boy and he begins to grow at lightning speed and ages forward into manhood.

From the Can’t She Just Go Away! department: Heather Mills is back in the news yet again... Paul McCartney’s ex is being sued by a former nanny, Sara Trumble, for intimidation and something akin to sexual discrimination because the nanny claims she was forced to do all sorts of non-nanny stuff a guy assistant wouldn’t have been asked to do.

Specifically, to spray on fake tan on Heather’s naked bod ( hmmmm.... does she have a tanned fake leg to match or does she spray tan on her prosthetic , too? ), and blow dry her hair. Also, she had to stand behind an empty mirror frame and when Heather approached and said , "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest on the wall", the Nanny-magic-mirror-impersonator and to say "Oh, YOU are Queen Heather!!"

OkokoOK, so I made the mirror part up but it COULD have happened.

Heather “I have fewer scruples than I have limbs” Mills has been now accused of leaking a doctored video of her former nanny on the internet, following news of her pending legal battle with Trumble. In fact, it has mysteriously popped up on Youtube but Mills claims she has no idea how it got there – although Miss Trumble said only Mills and an assistant were present when the interview was taped and only they had access to the original interview.

The carefully edited video combines clips of the former nanny with an image of the newspaper story about the court case to make it look like this is a recent interview ( it was actually shot months ago before Trumble claims her problems started with Mills)and it shows Trumble the slamming the press for printing supposed lies about Heather “ I did not pose for porn pictures, those were graphic marital aid photos” Mills.

Hmmm... Heather Mills ... that reminds me of, natch, her ex Paul and – get this – he has been censored by BBC for being – GASP – politically incorrect! Sir Paul was asked a question about Michael Jackson, and the former Beatle answered by doing an impersonation of Jackson with, of course, a high-pitched voice .

Now, forget the fact that Jackson really TALKS that way, somehow this impersonation was turned into some racist baloney thingy.

A BBC source told the Daily Mail: "McCartney started to reply in this high-pitched Jacko voice, and apparently it was very funny. But the BBC ...deeply nervous...has declined to broadcast the interview.. They say it's a 'trans-racial impression'.”

Huh??

Remember when lil’ ol’ cutie Matt Dillon was a member of the Hollywood Brat Pack? I still think of him as being about 18 but good heavens, he’s in his mid-40s! Of course, I think of myself as being around 27 and I’m in my ... well, NEVAH mind!! Anyhoo, breaking news: Matt was just arrested and charged with driving at warp speed after police clocked him zipping along Tuesday night at 10 p.m. in rented 2009 Chevrolet Impala at 106 miles per hour on a Vermont interstate highway.

While on the subject of Not Wise Moves: can someone explain to me what on earth Donatella Versace thinks about when she puts her “look” together?


Check out the boob implants just sitting on her top of her way too thin chest, the vastly too dark and weathered tan . I think this calls for a group you-know-what. All together now, darlings; EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I know it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it , I like it, yes I do. Rock giant Robert Plant who shot to fame as lead vocalist of Led Zeppelin, just got a whole lotta love from the queen – a knighthood! Last December , the band, who now have a combined age of over 180 but rock on, played a 90-minute set at London's O2 arena in front of an audience of 10,000 people. Aside to Robert: Honey, it’s great you are still rockin’ and all that but the hair isn’t working any more...

That’s it for now. In fact, darlings, that’s it for 2008!!! I’ll see you on the flip side . In the meantime, go out there do something so fabulously BOOMingly outrageous people gasp, “ I haven’t seen that kind of exuberance in eons!!”