Family to me is someone who is related by blood or marriage that care for and what happens to each of us as oppose to a relative who is related by blood and nothing more.

In life you have to make many changes to adapt to the many changes that happen around you in order to live. Some of the changes you don't want to make but must in order to keep your sanity. This is a change I had to make in order to keep myself sane.

One of the biggest changes happened on September 28,1991 when my mother passed. My husband passed on August 7,1992 and my father passed two week later on August 21,1992. As you can see by the dates that I lost the 3 most important people in my life all in less than a year.

I have 2 brother and 1 sister. I have spent the last 17 years trying to keep the family together by e-mail, phone calls, and visits. If I e-mailed they would answer any questions I asked. If I called they would talk by answering any questions I asked. If I visited they were polite. Two years ago I paid for their way down here and their hotel bill just so I could see my family all at one time.

In short order I don't hear much from them so I have come to the same thinking my husband had and that was "If you can't be bothered when I'm alive don't come around when I die cause it will be to late." I know this isn't the christian way to do things but I am human and have feeling too but enough is enough.

Don't get the wrong idea I love my brothers and sister very much and if they picked up the phone and said "I need you." I would drop everything and be there for them.

My family have now become just relatives someone who is related by blood. I'm not going to e-mail, phone, or visit and see how long it takes before they realize that they have not heard from me. Only time will tell.

I got a call on Thanksgiving Day from my older brother and he wished me a happy thanksgiving and we talked for awhile I found out the reason he doesn't call very often is because he's retired and lives on a limited income. I knew this and didn't think. We have agreed from now on we would call each other about every two months or so to keep in touch. He told me that he had called my younger brother and talked him. I asked what he was doing for thanksgiving and he said "nothing" and I asked if he had been invited by anyone for dinner and he said "no." My brother is like me single and lives alone and I found out that neither my younger brother or sister invited him to dinner and they only live about 55 miles apart. That is sad now if my brother had lived down here in Florida I would have invited him to dinner and we could have spent the day together. As for me I was invited by a friend & coworker in my church to go with him and his family to his in-laws for dinner and I accepted and had a wonderful day. I didn't hear from either my younger brother or sister. We'll see!