“When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch.” – Bette Davis


Greetings, darlings! I’m here to spark your spunk, jolt your joie de vivre and add some quality and quantity to your gossip quotient.

Say WHAAAAAT? Say let’s dish! And let’s start off with a boob report.

I know many of the male persuasion will be glad that, although I a flaming heterosexual (not withstanding the tres good possibility I was a drag queen in a previous lifetime), I appreciate great boobs. And dontcha LOVE it when someone in her prime not only has them but shows them off so fabulously? I’m talking, natch, about the so-talented-its-amazing Oscar winner Helen Mirren.

She was just honored at the “Greatest Briton Awards” in London and showed off cleavage that ALONE should win her an award. By the by, she was chatting up studly David “I’m so gorgeous even I am mesmerized when I see myself in the mirror” Beckham but I hear her stellar fabulosity even caused the soccer star’s glow to fade in comparison.

Let’s stay in the UK, cyberly ( I just make that word up, I think I’ll keep it!) speaking ,with some Paul McCartney this and that news. The BEST thing about his divorce mess – yes, mon cher, there is a silver ( even if gray haired) lining to every cloud - is that my UK spies say he has thrown away the peculiar reddish brown hair dye Heather insisted he use on his once mop-like hair.

Anyhoo, the other good news is that Paul McCartney hasn’t let his personal travails keep him down and he is ready to release a new studio album called "Memory Almost Full." You can catch the WORLD PREMIERE of a video of one of the tracks “Dance Tonight” next Wednesday on YouTube.com ( By the way, Paul’s daughter, Stella is good buds with actress Natalie Portman and Daddy McCartney tapped Natalie to star as a "futurist electronic ghost" who is summoned by the sound of McCartney's mandolin in the video… sounds like fun. We love you, Paul.. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!!!)

You know who else I’ve always loved? Well, I’m going to tell you, darlings. Mary Wilson , once-upon-a-time of the Supremes ( before Diana Ross decided she was IT and the rest of the Supremes were, well, not it.). She was and is the loveliest and best singer of that group and here is supremely fabo news! She’s baaaaaack with a sexy, bluesy, rockin’ cabaret act! She’ll perform June 9-30 in New York City at Feinstein's at the Regency. ( If you are going to be in the Big Apple then, call 212-339-4095 for info.)

DESPITE the fact the Eons powers-that-be totally FORGOT ( how, I have no clue) to make arrangements for me to report directly from the Cannes Film Festival , I am , sob, trying my best to get you the latest…. (by the way, a little birdie told me that the Eons Big Wigs DID mysteriously find the moola to send serial e-mailer SUZY to Cannes where she got into big trouble at the AIDS auction – more about that below – trying to use her expense account to buy a cruise with George Clooney!!!! OkokokokOK so maybe I can’t say that happened for sure, but it could have….)

Anyhoo, Martin Scorcese is THE man of the hour, the Special Guest of the 60th Cannes Festival, and he used the event to announce the launch of the World Cinema Foundation, devoted to the preservation and restoration of the masterpieces of world cinema ( and, no, this is NOT a non-profit group to provide plastic surgery to aging stars who can’t afford it).

Oh, yes, darlings.. about that auction thang…..Sharon Stone played auctioneer, Kylie Minogue and Julian Lennon sang, and burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese did a delicious strip to raise money for AIDS research at a benefit in Cannes Wednesday. They raised $7 million for the American Foundation for AIDS Research – woo woooo!!!! . Ivanka Trump walked away with a Francesco Vezzoli portrait of a crying Bette Davis for $200,000. And two cruises, with accompanying kisses from George Clooney, brought in $ 350,000 a piece ( and, no, Suzy didn’t get away with trying to charge one of them..)

You won’t find Michael Jackson at Cannes. He’s heading this weekend to England to attend a birthday party for a lil’ ol’ prince of Brunei. To be specific, HRH Prince Azim of Brunei's 25th birthday party. Well, you know how Wacko Jacko is fond of the word “prince”, having named two of his miraculously conceived kids “Prince”.. but I digress.

The performer is supposedly being paid -- get this -- $10 million NOT to perform but just to hang with the prince! Can you say “ decadence”? Egaaads..
Dionne Warwick will also be on hand but I hear she will have to sing for her din din ( and will take home about half a million for the warbling).

Jerry Hall , Faye Dunaway and Pam Anderson are also slated to attend – and I’m sure they are coming JUST for the party and not for the diamond filled party bags. Uh-huh.

Well, that’s it for this round of Gossip Au Go Go. Come back soon and share YOUR dish, delights, and digs. In the meantime, go out that and be so BOOMingly fabulous people sigh, “ If only more people had such eons of glorious attitude!!”