Thursday, Oct. 9

I peered through the slats of the kitchen blinds at the last glow of a beautiful fall afternoon. It seemed so strange that that nature should be putting on such a multi-colored show at a time when the news was filled with economic horrors.

I hesitated before turning on NPR. And sure enough, the small kitchen space was soon filled with gloom and doom from the stock and credit markets. I was tempted to turn off the news about possible bank failings, but incapable of wrenching myself from the latest catastrophic economic report.

I reached for the leftover pork in the refrigerator.

“The Dow fell 689 points today . . .”

I dug out left over chicken from the recesses of the lower shelf.

“GM stocks fell precipitously . . .”

The refrigerator was looking barren. I’d have to shop soon, only any expenditure felt excrutiating. Maybe that’s why eating had become so difficult. It was hard to take time from searching from work, searching for meaning in all this, searching for self . . .

But eat I must. Persevere I must.

All these years I’ve touted virtual company land as the pathway to economic and lifestyle freedom, but it’s damned hard to face this alone. Even so, it’s got to be hard facing a possible layoff. At least we have the option to keep on marketing . . .