When I look back over my life and think about the many people who have inspired and influenced me the most, one dominate personality always stands out - my maternal Grandmother.

She was born into this world plagued with poverty and hardship. It was her destiny to persevere and overcome unimaginable tragedies and difficulties in a world of hate and discrimination, and become for her an almost impossible journey to walk. She did so with honor, grace and wisdom, and to me though she did not walk along side the famous and well known, she is among them.

Born to Native American parents, that were proud of their heritage but also made to feel ashamed, it was a time when it was not a favorable status to be of Native decent. They hid out in the city and tried to blend, living with a race known as “other” claiming white, and fading into life as only they could to survive.

As a child it was hard for me to understand why my great grandparents would chose to live in a hot and muggy overcrowded, substandard concrete fast paced life where you did not speak to your neighbor, let alone know them. It seemed to me to be contradictory of the ways of our People, but I was to understand much later in my life their actual burdens and sacrifice.

When my Grandmother married and started her own family, she wanted to go back to the true traditions of her heritage and back to nature. She had only been taught in secret in the confines of the walls of her home the pride, sacred honor and ways of her People.

My Grandfather was of German desent, a kind and gentile man with easy going ways who adored her, and came from a large loving family who themselves had suffered and fled persecution, gave them their support. With their never-ending love, loyalty, and dedication to each other, Grandmother decided she would break the chain and they set out to carve a life for themselves; live off the land, back to her roots and her Mother Earth.

It was not an easy life; together they endured years of poverty, hardship, and disappointments. They raised a family through the Great Depression, job loses, near starvation, and suffered the ultimate pain - the death of two babies. From a great inner strength my Grandmother never forgot, but was able to carry her burdens with strength and honor, and bring from them dignity and wisdom. She single- handed taught her children and grandchildren the ways of her ancestors all the while recognizing she was learning herself. She lived to an old age and always said every day she learned something new, she kept an open mind and loved all peoples; and they loved her.

There are circumstances unknown to me, but from little up I spent most of my time with her. I was always obedient and respectful and had a deep inner eagerness to know about the ones who had walked before us. My Grandmother had the wisdom and foresight to teach a child in steps according to maturity. My life lessons were in stages, most of the time I was not aware I was being “taught” as much was by her example.

Looking back, I know she left a lot of herself with my sister, brothers and cousins, but I seemed to be her chosen one. She took me under her wing, showed me the ways of her People and helped me to record the names, birthplaces and burial of our ancestors. I know their faces and their stories, their faded pictures are marked and explained for my generations ahead, and carefully categorized.

I walk into nature and instinctively know about animals, plants, rocks and sounds that others do not hear or see. There are things that I do not know how I know, but I feel in tune with our Mother Earth, and look to my ancestors for wisdom and guidance in my life.

I know what has to happen in our future for the continued existence of mankind, and I feel the pain and suffering of the past, present, and future of all peoples who are persecuted. I know and feel the inborn hurt that follows the generations from mistreatment and I have a deep empathy for all life that suffers. I have learned that you do not have to have wealth, power or a name to make a difference, I have learned the power of words and actions and that your words can be a vessel of strength for others.

Throughout my lifetime I have felt that I personally was in a race with myself against time. I studied fabric history and made quilts, I carved wood and made Native American Art. I felt I had to learn as much as I could and do as much as I could to leave my mark, my legacy for my children and grandchildren. To hand down traditions and things that I so lovingly made and appreciate to future generations so that it will be kept alive through me was the ultimate goal, so the pride and the honor of those who proceed me will remember lovingly that I left this legacy.

In the years of my desperate race within myself, I have learned one valuable piece of wisdom that I had been overlooking. It has been here all this time right in front of my nose, and not until I hugged a grandchild and saw the respect in their eyes did I realize what I am really handing down is my honor.

It is just as my Grandmother gave me hers… I believe their can be no greater gift to future generations than your honor.